I got invited to someone's birthday. It's at a bar and there's a theme. I've never been invited to an actual party or gone to a bar before. I haven't worn a dress in years and with my unstable mental state, I don't know if I'll be able to do it. Plus, I'll probably have to Uber there, which I've never done before. Getting in a car with a stranger scares me. On top of that, they want to spend a night at a hotel and swim at the pool. I haven't swam or worn a swimsuit since I was 12 or something like that.
I want to go, just so I can say I didn't spend my 21st year on earth doing absolutely nothing of interest. I'm not anxious right now but I know that by the time the day comes, I'll be shaking and nauseous. There are just so many new and uncomfortable factors. Not to mention I have less than a week to decide, get a dress, get shoes, and get mentally prepared.
I'm not even close with any of the people attending, including the person who invited me. They claim we're best friends but never listen to me, they always cross a boundary and rarely consider my feelings. Still, I know I'd never forgive myself if I didn't at least try to socialize. I don't have any other contacts that are my age. If I go, maybe I can meet someone better.
But I'm also realizing that I haven't used my ID before and that interaction scares me despite knowing I'm legal and wouldn't be doing anything wrong. I also haven't had that many drinks in my life. The theme is "little black dress" but that could mean anything. The bar is nice but I don't know how nice, I don't know mature to dress. I don't want to look how I feel and I feel like two young girls stacked together in a trenchcoat trying to get into a rated-R movie, all dressed up with lipstick and it feels like I've never stopped playing in my mom's makeup drawer.
