Help with flashbacks? The smell here reminds me of when i got ill last summer

[Against_the_current]

I don't feel well here. The heat and the smell and the place remind me of last summer when i was dragged to a sanatorium by grandma and got a virus and now i just want to go home. It hasn't been a day. I'm alone and scared. The thing is home isn't good neither. Idk where to live. I just woke up panicking and nauseous in the heat and smell and tiny space (like can i open a window or have the AC on through the night without getting sick? Meanwhile i get sick from both having no air and AC/having AC or the window. But i can't get a new place and idk if mom would want me permanently home. I want to give up this place, just pack my things and leave the sink and the mold. But mom would treat me terrible. She told me to get a new place without knowing I don't have the money for that. I can't get the temperature right. And the smell has me going crazy. I just remember the agony of being here. I just can't adjust the smell and the temperature. But how to explain to mom? She will see me as a burden. That i will be.

[Starrlight]

you are not alone. I’ve been feeling scared too. I’m sorry you are struggling. It’s good you wrote it out; that always helps me a bit. Know I’m listening and wishing you well. You can do this. You can get through. You are so strong. Trust the process and know things get better. You will figure these problems out. ❤️‍🩹 keep writing if it helps and I’ll keep listening

Love to you ❤️

[SoporRose]

I can think of nothing new to tell you. You are intelligent and enduring and I still believe you will find your way.