I hate me...

[Starlove]

Hi everyone

I know I am not the cup of tea for many. I know I am open with my opinions about human life and how important it is to be loved and respected by everyone. I know I have a strong personality and temperament in where I do not back down if I am setting my opinion. And, I also invite opinions from others as long as there is respect. I just don't know why I get anxious about not being liked or being invited.

I hate that I have opinions. I hate that I have a laugh that is heard by others. I hate that I am loud. I hate to be mistreated and I get silent when that happens. I hate that I care about this too much. I hate to believe I care too much about what others think of me. I wish I was heartless and not give an flying F. I hate myself for caring about what others think of me. I hate that I posted here looking for answers when my life is not bad.

[Dolphin14]

Starlove

What are you doing to try and change the way you look at yourself? You are very down on yourself.

It's ok to have an opinion. It's ok to disagree with someone else's. You say you don't back down but you are willing to talk when there is respect. I'm confused on that, it sounds contradictory.

It's normal to want to be part of things and have people in your life.

I'm sorry you are feeling so low

🐬

[Starlove in reply to Dolphin14]

Hi

I noticed I wrote the info twice! Yikes! I find myself overthinking things. I am open when people give me their perspective in life and choices as well as their values. When I stated I do not back down, is when I do not feel heard and people keep pushing back on what I am supposed to be feeling or thinking according to them. For example, if I am having a depressive episode and yes I go to therapy and take medication, do my exercise but feel down, they start to say "what do you need to feel sorry for?" Those type of comments.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Starlove]

This makes sense. Thank you for clarifying. You speak up for yourself and stand your ground. That's a sign of strength