Beat down

[Havock]

My therapist told me she could not treat my level of trauma and I scared her. I feel beat down. Am I just hopless? Should I even try to find another therapist? Or do I fulfill my military oath? My personal dream!

[Alpakka123]

Is this a normal therapist, or a therapist specifically trained in dealing with trauma?

And no, you're not hopeless. You're traumatized.

[Havock in reply to Alpakka123]

She worked from her house so I had my doubts but she seemed good

[Alpakka123 in reply to Havock]

Oooh dear. Ok.... This triggers the memory of my friend (who later turned out to be a bad person) who said she was a family therapist. I looked her up (because I started having my doubts as to whether her claiming to be a family therapist was true) and she didn't have an office. I later learned that I was right to doubt because she had made up being a family therapist. I'm not saying that your situation is like this one. I mean, there might be therapists who do work from home. I'm just telling about a memory that you telling me this triggered. An unqualified therapist (or in my case, someone saying they were a therapist...) can do more harm than good (I learned this the hard way).

It sounds like you need a therapist specifically trained to deal with trauma patients. Please remember that you are NOT a hopeless case. I hope that she didn't put this idea in your head because it is NOT true.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Havock]

I have two therapists that work from home. They started this when COVID hit and continued on from home.

Can you check the credentials of this therapist?

We have to do our due diligence and make sure we are seeing a trained therapist that specializes in the field that we need.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

Do you know dependable sites to do that due diligence?

[Dolphin14 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Due diligence is about being informed, doing our own homework. I'm suggesting the poster google and see what he can find out about his therapist.

Theres no specific site I can give you.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to Dolphin14]

Okay, thanks.

[Mountainlover57 in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Try googling, " psychologist nearest me" and you should be able to find a trauma therapist that is certified In your local area. I would usually Yelp each therapist that I was interested in saying to find out what their credentials are. There's nothing wrong with you at all, most likely you found somebody that wasn't qualified. Also, you could probably call your customer service on your insurance card and get more information from them on who is qualified and in network as a trauma therapist.

[Fog44 in reply to Havock]

I don't think working from home is considered abnormal in their field and allows them to keep costs down. It's true they wouldn't have coworkers or supervisors that could witness bad behavior, but I don't think it's necessarily a red flag at all.

I used to see a Psychiatrist that worked out of her home. She prescribed and did actual psychoanalytical therapy sessions (this was pre-Covid). She had a foyer area that was a little waiting room and that had a direct door to a room devoted to therapy. It was comfy, well decorated and probably nicer than most office rooms.

I also had a family member with a Master's in counseling who saw patients from a cute room in her home.

But yeah, as Dolphin14 has already said, do a little research. I think you can look up their licenses online.

[DontJudge]

No you're not hopeless, I think it's best to find a new therapist

[Dolphin14]

Havock

You are not hopeless.

Maybe she's newly trained in trauma therapy? Maybe she's not a trauma therapist?

I actually think it's a good thing she's saying she's not qualified to handle your issues. Some would just continue on and you would find you weren't getting anywhere.

Did she offer you resources? Did she mention perhaps trying EMDR if you haven't?

I wouldn't take this as a sign that you can't be treated.

🐬

[LoveforAll41]

I agree with Dolphin, I think that it is a good thing she recognizes this and you can find a better therapist for you before wasting any more time. Did she recommend others? There is a certainly hope, and there is certainly a therapist for you out there.☮️

[Blearyeyed]

I think you should keep trying and find another recommended local therapist with real experience with treating people in your situation.In a way , try to see the positives here.

This therapist clearly wasn't right for you or experienced enough to give you good counselling, it's better you've found out now before you've wasted a lot of time and money and potentially ended up feeling worse because she was not able to do the job properly.

Basically there was something wrong in that therapy relationship, but it was her , not you.

Find a new therapist. You could join a local support group with your mental health needs and gain friendship but also good recommendations for therapists from them.

Or contact local psychiatric services at a local hospital or doctors surgery and see whom they recommend to outpatients .

You may even find that your insurance company recommends and uses specific therapists that they are happy to fund for an extended time if you have one.

If you aren't insured you may be able to get free therapy sessions through some local medical scheme or mental health charity.

Or you could find out which therapist are on the insurance companies recommended lists in your area and decide to self fund seeing someone that you know has the skills you need.

Don't feel beat down , feel liberated to get better help , keep positive, Bee

[momander]

Hi there,

I am so sorry that this has been your experience with your therapist.

Can you share what kind of therapist you are seeing?

I am a therapist of many years, and I work with people from all walks of life dealing with all sorts of issues.

Never have I told a client that they scare me!!??

If I have ever felt that I may be a wee bit out of my depth, then I am honest, and tell the person that I may need to do some research so that I can work with them in a way where they feel heard and supported.

I really am so sorry that this has been your experience.

I hope that you find another therapist soon

take care

[Havock in reply to momander]

Grief counseling. I lost my daughter in 2020

[momander in reply to Havock]

Hi again,I am so very sorry that you lost tour daughter.

I was a voluntary grief and bereavement counsellor for a local hospice some years ago and it was a job I really learned such a lot from. Grief is different for all of us and so it is part of the therapists job to recognise this and show patience, empathy, understanding and grace. I am so sorry you have not had this. I hope you find it, you deserve it.

[casablancalover14]

Oh my gosh, what kind of doctor would say this to their patient? That is horrible, and I hope he or she gets their license taken away. Sending hugs to you, my friend! 🥰

[Hisue]

A competent & professional therapist would help direct you to other options.

[Tabby-5]

Whatever your dream happens to be and you still want to achieve it I encourage you to follow that. I am so sorry to hear about the bad interaction with your therapist. I just believe that is a sign that that is the wrong person for you to be seeing. I do know how you feel. I have been belittled by more than one psychiatrist and one therapist. It does make you feel worse, and you are already going to seek help because you feel bad. You certainly are not hopeless! you have your dream! There are other therapists out there do some research. I am now working with a really good therapist, psychiatrist, and I am trying hypnotherapy which can help with

many things, including trauma. Keep trying!