Hello. I notice for myself that depression sometimes has no rhyme or reason to it. It just eats you randomly and then spits you out randomly, then you're left to pick up the pieces. Sometimes, I'm learning, it's the little things that you would least suspect that set it off. At those times I wonder both why they do and how they suddenly get so much power. There's no easy reason. Sometimes it feels there's no reason. at all. You are aware of those around you, like your wife and child, and that's something important. Depression is selfish and demands that you only pay attention to it. When you have others to think about, it's the thinking about them that robs depression of its tight grip; not because you're focusing on them, but because you're not so focused and willing to make time and space for depression. Good luck.
It sounds like you are doing a lot for your family. A lot lot lot. And yeah, who would want to spend what little time he has leftover to do mundane boring stuff like taxes and paperwork? I feel that. Sometimes, in my own life, I have been so resentful of the time that I spend helping others that I actually spend a good deal of time just sitting around being depressed and angry. It’s not a waste of time, mind you. It’s my brain saying, “Stop the train. This isn’t working for me. I want off this train.” And yet another part of me says, “What can I do, I’m stuck on this train. I bought the ticket and climbed on myself.” So yes, I have been angry and depressed and too tired to do the things that need doing. And the thing that helped me was recognizing that I needed outside help. Sitting around, I realized I was angry, and not sure how to set boundaries without feeling selfish. So I got a counselor. And I’m not usually much for counseling, but it is helpful to talk to someone who will listen.
you are right to say writing here helps. Have you had depression since childhood? I have but I self medicated with drugs and alcohol until I was 21. I had alot of early childhood trauma. Years later, happily married with 2 kids and it came back. Like you said, I had many reasons to be joyful,drug and alcohol free and doing well. Went to therapy and alot was related to childhood memories triggered by my kids growing up. I would write in a notebook when I was depressed, memories and thoughts. Next day I burned what I wrote, like throwing it all away. Write here or in notebook, get the feelings out,it helps. Hope this helps. Focus on the positive and it will pass like dark clouds.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Is anyone experiencing significant, unintentional weight loss with anxiety/depression?
Should I even think about having kids when I have anxiety and depression? 
Anxiety and Depression going to Wife Too Much for reassurance
Lost job and depression & anxiety are making it so hard to even look for new income. Scared and idk what to do. 
