feeling hopeless

[augustine02]

my anxiety came back full force about 3 weeks ago. it comes in waves really bad. sometimes i’m okay, and then other times i terrify myself so much. it makes me feel disconnected from myself.. it’s so so so scary. it makes me feel like i want to just disappear. i started therapy this past monday & it went well. im also on fluxotine 40mg & buspar 5mg. im just hoping these anxiety attacks will not stick with me forever. i want to be my old self again. sometimes they turn into panic attacks unfortunately & it’s so hard to pull myself through. i know this is probably just my brain relapsing & i understand that healing isn’t linear but i feel so scared & stuck.

[Shanm2]

Hey augustine02, I'm sorry for what you're going through right now. Anxiety is hard to deal with even at the best of times but i want to let you know, you're not alone in this feeling.

The disconnection with yourself could be your brain trying to protect itself from the intense terror it feels, if not then some depersonlization or derealization comes to mind.

It's good that you've started therapy, i hope it continues to go well. You're right it won't stick with you forever, it will get better to manage.

You say that you want to get back to your old self again but sometimes turn into panic attacks. But what if the old you, needs to become a newer version of you, because healing from things can transform ones life and personality, focus on who you envision yourself to be, not who you were...Healing an be a scary, scary process and an challenging change.

Yoy hang on in there, you've got the strength inside you. And I believe in you

Stay Strong 💕

[SportsGuy17]

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a rough go lately. It really is a scary feeling but please know this isn’t you and this won’t last forever. One resource I found helpful is the DARE app on the App Store. It has some really insightful information that teaches you to accept your anxiety and learn that it’s completely normal part of life. Easier said than done but there is helpful meditations, podcasts and exercises to help manage your day to day. I hope you find some relief soon and stay strong we are all here for you.

[KrierandRosie]

I have the same problems you described. But drugs have side effects so I do my best on my own. It seems ok for a while and then it is back. This is our life.

[MARYRD27]

I understand how you are feeling, as I’ve been there myself. Glad to hear you have a therapist and are on some meds. To reduce the chances of having high anxiety and panic, don’t consume alcohol or caffeine. And keep in mind that many of the symptoms of anxiety and panic are the result of hyperventilating. You may not realize you are doing it, but it’s why everyone says to take a couple deep breaths. My therapist recommended The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne and I found it to be a lifesaver. Once you find that you can control the anxiety, you will have less of it. And exercise that you enjoy is very helpful. I do Zumba. In addition to regular exercise, find something else you enjoy that you can immerse yourself in. And be sure to take the meds as directed. You will get better.

[Craigliving4Jane]

Hi Augustine02

We all know each individual is different but I share my story as one of possible hope. I too suffered greatly from anxiety. 6 different doctors over 27 years and no real relief. Didn’t help that I could not get family to help with possible solutions. Selfish bunch. I went from running my own successful company to just trying to survive.

In October of 2022 I was out of answers and things had gotten worse so I checked into a hospital . I was at the time taking Clonopin and Busiprone 5 mg. The Clonopin I had been on for 27 years.

The doc at the hospital increased my Busiprone to 30 mg and I’m currently on 60 mg a day. That increase absolutely saved my life . I’vev weened off the Clonopin.

What did I learn. Sometimes docs are awfully passive with dosage and I was ignorant of what increases could do and how much. Poor research done by me sometimes.

Have hope. Never give up trying for answers whether they be mindfulness, other meditations, exercises , breathing techniques, etc. , but I for one have some wires crossed and need the right cocktail mix of meds to give me the chance to use those techniques to bring me to where I am. 90% free of depression( they changed some meds there also) and anxiety. Yahoo!!

Be proactive. Trying new meds or dosages can be scary for many reasons but until you find whatever the answers might be, then we are settling for less than maybe we should be.

I did that. Learn from a 67 year old man not to

Never give up trying and searching for answers .

And if you are the type. Pray.

[augustine02 in reply to Craigliving4Jane]

your reply brought me to tears. thank you so much for your words. you made me feel so hopeful. ❤️ i was thinking about asking if my prescription could be doubled for buspar.

[Craigliving4Jane in reply to augustine02]

You are so very welcome. Pulling for you.

Point of reference. I m a bog guy. Really have no idea if that matters. I was on 5 mg before hospital. Asked my doc to double . I had to ask and I’m literally dying right in front of her. 10 mg did nothing so off to hospital I went. First time ever.

They certainly weren’t passive

Much love

[Craigliving4Jane]

clarify- Clonopin. .5 mg