Lately the last days I have been struggling with my anxiety and depression due to excessive stress in my job. When my meds did not work enough, my doctor increased some doses because I was starting to have panic attacks episodes again. I can handle more the stress in my job. I feel stronger but my depression is still doing me bad. I just want to sleep all day, and I know that I can do it. I have nightmares every night so I can't rest enough. When I am awake, I start to feel like a mix of emotions the whole day. Sometimes I feel stronger and happy because I feel that I can do whatever I want. Then suddenly I start to feel a bit of fear for my future. My mind never rests. I am always thinking a lot of different things and I can't stop. After that feeling of fear, I start to feel sad because my emotions don't let me to do a lot of things. It is like if I am not living my life and then the feeling of guilt comes too. I can't stop thinking that I am going to ruin my life because I can't control my depression. Everything around me feels like a huge problem over my head and my back that I am not able to handle.
Sometimes I just want to cry because I am scared all the time. Then after some time I start to feel a bit of hope and relieve because I start to gain strength again. But everything is like a cycle. Everything happens again in my head.
I am not sure if I explain well what I wanted to say.
Right now, I feel that sadness and fear for everything.
