I am a failure

[Blue_2]

I had my midyear review with my manager today, I have been in my current job for just under a year.

I was told by one manager in my department that I am a solid performer, but my reporting manager said to me today that I am productive in my role, only that I make a lot of mistakes.

So now I feel a lot of things - stupid and incompetent mostly. This has really depressed me and I feel as if everyone in the company knows how rubbish I am at my job.

I know what I have to do in my job now, I have to prioritise with the older work, but when I have 60 sometimes even 70 pieces of work to deal with in 7 and a half hours, I would panic and try to get done whatever I came across first. For about 2 or 3 days I have been doing the older work first.

When I was younger and studying for my GCSEs my folks wanted me to get high grades in everything. As if me getting A* and A in every single subject I studied for meant that I was intelligent.

It doesn't stop how bad I feel, I want to do right by everyone, I just don't feel like what I do is ever enough.

[012703060610]

I am so sorry. I worked in corporate America and sounds like you may be doing something similar. What I have observed over the pandemic is employers trying to make sweeping changes to cut costs and to rebuild each core business. I landed totally disabled. I used to travel on the road full time, manage 60 people and run an entire product line....80 hours was my work standard. With old tasks and new tasks to finish, I totally understand anxiety.

1-Did you ask what exactly were the mistakes? I like to push a little back. Then I would ask, how can you help me improve? Managers need to do their part. I would push here.

2-I never was not on the market for a new job. I interviewed endlessly to develop a career I really wanted. It was only the last job that truly killed me. May be worth exploring.

3-Remember this is work and not what's important in life. I know you feel like you are letting folks down, but look around at your peers. Are they perfect? Likely no.

4-Is there a way you can demonstrate that the work is just too much for one single person. IE-each tasks takes x minutes with only y hours in a work day.

I never lie down in a year end review and take it. Or I wouldn't have. My last end of year review was done by my boss who truly hated me. She didn't really understand my product or the market for it. We did 360 reviews and we could ask people to speak up to our boss. All three people who spoke up to my boss told me what they said. None of that made it into the review, she said I was a terrible partner and person, and that somehow I had a hold on others in the org to make them like me. I got the verbiage right before the review and didn't even go. My boss had been reported to HR several times. That is one thing you never really know, is your boss liked well enough to help you in your career.

Just some food for thought. I know fully how hard it can feel and it almost takes your breathe away when you spend so much time at a job and get feedback that is rough. Keep us posted!

[Blueruth]

this is an opportunity. Now you know.. that’s a gift. Obviously they appreciate you or they wouldn’t say anything. Look online for work best practices to organize your work. Many bits of tasks is a problem in applications development. It is easy to get hung up on the immediate but you can’t or nothing would get finished. There are multiple ways to manage it but it ultimately comes down to doing one task at a time. Google work systems for ideas. You might have to try more than one. Also look at how you retain information. Corporate life tends to be based on reading but there are other ways people retain information. I draw out complex problems. That’s visual learning. Verbal learning might be talking out a problem.

[Bufly_60]

Hello Blue_2, I’m sorry you feel this way, but you’re not alone in this big old world of feeling this way. You’re not a failure, you are an individual who wants to perform your job and feel confident when you do so. God does not make any mistakes and if you believe in Him he will validate what I’m saying to you right now. Practice makes perfect and perfection comes from within us. You got this and don’t deny yourself of feeling as if you’re a failure because you’re not. Think about this, you’ve only been on your job for about a year and you’re still a working progress. Take it one day at a time. Miracles of blessings.

[gerrerd]

Just take it easy nice and steady, managers say these things to get you to do more. In 50years at work ive learned that with managers the more you do the more they want. They use criticism to get more from you. Take it easy dont worry if you were not good at your job they would not employ you. managers are devious !