It's crazy to believe that for 20 years now ive been abused. Still today being emotionally abused having to make a new email/social media to remove contact..
As much as you are my family. I dont think i can forgive you for putting me through this and making me question why im still alive.
Well i lived with my mom for 15 years and the emotional/physical abuse was on going. Itjust kept getting worse and worse till she threatened to kill me so when i went to school the next day i called my dad and he took me in. It has been a few years now but shes keeping my sibling hostage from me and keeps trying to emotionally abuse me or make me believe shes the victim and im the bad guy. There were a few times i grew week and tried to go back thinking she changed but i just gave up and dropped all contact with her a few days ago.
excuse my spelling by the way. i just went through an emotional breakdown so im still shaken
Yes. I agree with all that you said. Stockholm syndrome and/or, for me, is it an addiction? I'm addicted to their craziness?
Addiction: -Unable stay away from the substance (people/family) or stop the addictive behavior.
-Display a lack of self-control, have an increased desire for the substance, or behavior (They're the only family I have).
-Dismiss how their behavior may be causing problems. Lack an emotional response (from them )
I spend very little time with my family. And yet, they're my family, and I would still like to have a good relationship with them. As I'm writing this, the feeling of being defeated comes back.
What is it that sets us apart? Meaning, why don't we act like they do? What would our lives be like if we just 'drank the Cool-Aid'? Would our lives be less stressful? What is going on in their heads(?) (as I'm writing these last couple of sentences I can only imagine how people will reply-but still, I do wonder what does go thru their head. They must be tortured as well? What do they tell themselves to make what they say and do ok?). At times they've got top see the look of pain, disbelief, and what else? Or is this just as normal to them as breathing?
When you used the term, Stockholm syndrome, that has been in the back of my mind for,,, years? Decades? Yet,I wouldn't say that because, my fear is that the outside world-people who only saw snapshots of what other family members were like-would say that I was exaggerating, or that I was delusional (now I'm starting to feel bad, guilty, about myself or doubt myself for writing this because,,,,, my mind is trying to tell me that I'm wrong, that I the problem is me. And I did play a part in it, but the great majority of my actions was just responding to their craziness, and most of all, survival). Now my heading is spinning and the brain Fog is taking over.
The medical community says that you can't 'catch' depression, anxiety, (insanity) from other people. I believe that you can. If you spend too much time with people like my family, you will pick it up. And once it gets in your head, it will grow and continue until it takes over. More later. I need to walk away for a while.
