I am so disheartened. I have moments where I can almost see who I was and that I can get back there. Then boom, wake up shaky, weak and catastrophizing. I’m so tired. Idk how I can begin a journey to get better when I don’t even recognize myself or my life. There are moments where I can label my thoughts as lies and others I believe every awful thought and believe I will collapse at any moment. Idk how I can do this or where to begin.
I appreciate being able to write this and having it read by people who actually understand and won’t just say- brush this off, you’re ok, go out and live your life.
Believe me, I want to!
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I am so sorry you aren’t doing well today, friend. We are here for you to help you through the hard moments and realize that you are not alone. Just keep breathing and reminding yourself that anxiety is a LIAR. You are not in danger. Sometimes it helps me to look at it from a biological perspective. My amygdala has released fear chemicals that it should not have. The moments where you are able to be an observer (no matter how absolutely awful it feels) seem to make the fear dissipate faster. The DARE app affirmations meditation “I Need Reassurance” is also helpful for me when I feel myself ramping up. I am here for you, friend!
hey Kelsey- I am obviously way too emotional these days but your words literally brought me to tears. Just being “heard” and knowing I’m not alone helps more than anything. It really does. Thank you so much. Even if I’m not ok, I still have strength enough to lean on so if you ever need to- got you. 🤗
I'm sorry that you're hurting so much right now. As someone who also fights these battles, I'd like to point out what you said that I feel is positive, and one thing is that's that you have moments where you can label your thoughts as lies. This battle is just that, a battle. It's not just one fight (unfortunately 😒). The fact that you have the capacity to recognize the terrorist living inside of you trying to hijack your happiness is huge in my opinion, a big first step. The more you can do that, the better (easier said than done, believe me, I know). I try to use the "Would you say these things to a close friend? Then why say them to yourself?" tactic...it helps me on a lot of my days now simply because I've practiced it. I also really really try to not say anything negative about myself out loud. Speaking something verbally activates a different part of the brain from thinking it, so for example, saying "I'm so stupid" is much more detrimental than just thinking it. I guess it's like anything, it all takes practice. I think it's wonderful that you can still recognize the good in yourself. It means that the meany depression thingy living in there doesn't have all the control. Life is a journey. I know it's a cliché, but it's also true. I'm not who I was 10 years ago, and that's not a good or bad thing, it just is what it is. Assigning those words "good" and "bad" I think is another trick depression does to make us think things are worse now than they really are. Maybe things are "worse" now for legitimate reasons, and w some healing time or changes in outside circumstances, your life will change yet again...maybe things weren't actually so "better" back then... Idk, I'm definitely not a therapist, just been to a few and battled my own depression for 20 years now. And I do use the word "battled" because that's what it feels like, I'm up against a formidable foe who at times out-guns me.... Meds help me a little. Places like this to know I'm not alone help too. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS... in your feelings or your responses to them, any of it.....sending hugs 🤗
Darkhorse! You are an angel! The people that have replied are seriously reminding me that there are such good people in the world. It pains me that such good people are suffering so much. I suspect that I won’t be who I was. I’m hoping to be a better version of me. These moments are so debilitating, it robs me of hope and any progress - in one shaky or dizzy moment. Your responses are probably the best medicine I can get. I thank you for taking the time to do so. Since we are all here for someone to lean on, please feel free to reach out whenever. Hope it’s a good day for you 🤗
The "best" people I know are also afflicted somehow... I think we feel more somehow, maybe? Idk... Yes, there is a lot of suffering, but there is a lot of good too.
I agree and love your line of thinking there! Some of the best ppl I know are also afflicted. I’ve thought about this a lot lately. As if we have a special gift, or superpower, which is a silver lining that we just need to find the key to unlock. But where is that damn key? Lol! 👍
We as anxiety sufferers are some of the most sensitive people, we are also the biggest peace makers, caregivers and above all the ones that people call on the most when there is something to be done, effectively and efficiently. We are people pleasers who go out of our way to please others. We forget to take care of ourselves because we love to care. This is what happens to me after something that has happened. I go into survival mode to get things done. I don't even take the time to think about myself in the moment. It isn't until after things settle down that I break down. Anxiety sets in and sometimes hits me hard. I have learned to let anxiety happen instead of fighting it. It is usually caused from stressors as above forementioned. After a while the anxiety subsides. It's a hard practice to learn, I have been doing this for 30+ years. For everyone reading this, I hope you find peace and joy in your lives.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling the same- it’s really sucks! Forget a day at a time. Some days it’s a moment at a time. That’s where I’m at today. So just take it a moment at a time. These thoughts that are keeping us prisoners are LIES. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of that. We’ve survived how many anxious days and panic attacks. For me I’d have to say hundreds. Still here. Breathe and talk back to those thoughts. I also use / smell peppermint oil. It’s strong and brings me back to the moment. Let me know how you’re doing. 🤗
Very kind of you to reply with support while you yourself are suffering. I've identified with the lies of self hatred for so long, most of my life, that I don't really know who I am under it all. So much of my time is spent trying to cope with these self hatred feelings. It's exhausting. I used to drink and use cannabis heavily to escape from them but that eventually made things a lot worse. I've had some success over the past year starting a meditation practice, and I started doing yoga a couple months ago. I work from home and I feel very isolated. I've been trying to get back into social situations and I'm finding it overwhelming. Honestly, I feel invisible and I do not know how to meet people. I turn 40 this year and I have a 10-year-old child. My wife and I separated less than a year ago. It's two steps forward once step back. I have some good days and then something triggers me, and BAM. I am my worst enemy again. This is my second post on this board, I hope I have not overshared. I've never tried smelling peppermint oil when I'm in this mental space, perhaps I will give it a try. Thank you for seeing me, it really means a lot.
you have NOT over- shared. That is what this community is about. Be yourself. Share your pain, knowing that most of us can relate. It makes a world of difference to know you are not alone. Separation sucks, no sugar coating that. I’ve been there. But, you have the best thing in the world to focus on- a child. Their well being and future. Let that be your motivation to be well and healthy. Don’t overwhelm yourself. Do the social thing a bit at a time to ensure success. Baby steps. I read a lot. I watch YouTube videos and listen to podcasts. This all has helped me immensely. Just recently downloaded the DARE app which is great so far. Yup, I also use a lot of aromatherapy. I diffuse cedar oil and lavender. It’s like a calming nature bath. And I smell peppermint to force me into the moment. It’s helped some too. I order them on Amazon or get them at Whole Foods. I definitely see you, and no thanks necessary. That’s why we’re here. Reach out anytime.
Thank you again, for your support. I greatly appreciate it. I will try the DARE app. Oh and I am here for you as well. I'm glad I found this community.
I suffer from generalized anxiety. I mainly deal with that using avoidance strategies, which is NOT a good solution. Nowadays, I barely leave home.
I have trouble identifying anxiety stimuli as lies. In fact, this is often the opposite: I recently tried positive reappraisal – and my mind insists THAT is a lie and only the negative feelings are the truth. It was the same with cognitive behavioral therapy. It is like my mind always finds new ways to escape any attempt to trick it into stopping seeing all as dark and menacing.
How do you manage to detect "anxiety lies"? And how do you convince yourself those are the lies – and that trying to escape them is good?
I’d like to know how to detect these lies as well. I’ve been struggling with an internal battle that feels like a tug of war between my old “healthy” self and this highly anxious person I’ve become.
Oh my gosh, I completely relate to this. I also have generalized anxiety disorder. My mind does the same thing in that it overpowers positive messages with negative ones. On my better days, I do find some success when I thank that voice rather than push it away. It's counterintuitive, but it can help. Sometimes it doesn't seem to help but I try to do it anyway. It may not seem like it, but if we see that the negative voice is trying to protect us in some way, when it feels acknowledged it can quiet a bit. If we can quiet that voice, maybe we can allow for positive messaging to come through a little more. You are not alone in feeling this way. One moment at a time.
Hi Sylvain, I get when you say your mind is always trying to catch up and detect any tricks. It’s exhausting. I try to remind myself that I don’t have to trouble myself in detecting lies as most of what anxiety is telling us to keep us scared is a lie- like we’re sick, we’re going crazy, we’re gonna die. They are all lies- all the time. Trying that new approach and saying thank you for looking out for me but I’m good, I’m in no danger. Working on it.
I know what you all are feeling and going through. I find at times I am very calm and look forward to this thing or that and then other times I feel the anxiety and panic creep into my body/mind. Then I have to use my tools again. Let go, breathe, accept, float, hydrate, listen to calming music, crochet, meditation, look outside at nature, take a walk, pat my dog, etc. I’ve dealt with this most of my life and know what I need to do, but I just want more of the days where I don’t have to worry about how I feel and just live my life and be grateful. I know I need more support, but I just don’t feel I have that yet. Reading your posts makes me feel less alone in this. I help other people, why can’t I reassure myself?
hi! It seems like you know exactly what you need to do and have a treasure for tools. But it happens to us all. When the panic hits, we forget all we know. It’s panic, it tricks us. I can relate to reassuring others and having a hard time doing it for myself sometimes. If you need support, you’re in the right place. You’re definitely not alone.
Thank you so much for your kindness. It brought tears to my eyes. I don’t know many people that truly understand and for some reason I don’t have many people I feel safe reaching out to. I have days that I feel I can accomplish anything and then I have times I just want to hide away and work on getting my confidence back all over again. Sometimes it depresses me deeply. Reach out to me anytime as well! ❤️
same here. Family and friends want to be supportive but have no idea. They think I can just “snap out of it” because this isn’t me and they’ve always seen me as this pillar of strength. Well, not so strong right now and that’s ok. I’m taking care of me. I know it can be disheartening. Try to stay encouraged. You’ve gotten through before. You have people now. I mean it, reach out or message me anytime. ❤️
My God I love this forum. You are ALL amazing warriors. I've lived with depression and anxiety most of my life. Sometimes don't know how I've gotten through but here I am. For me it's got to be one day at a time. Bad days a nice walk being in the moment, looking at the beautiful trees, aquafitness a miracle sport, meditation.....Medication helps but it's NOT THE solution...it's meant to reduce the intensity of the mental anguish so we can cope. I admire all of you and am sending everyone here healing vibes and hugs💫👏🏻💫🤗
hey Agora1! Thank you so much for this. Claire Weekes is my hero- she was so ahead of her time. I have this book in audio on my phone that I listen to constantly. Besides the feeling of not being alone , I have picked up tips and ideas about how others deal with their anxiety and it’s so helpful. I’m so glad you are doing well. Thank you for not forgetting what it’s like to suffer and coming back to help the rest of us. I hope to do the same. 🤗
I can so relate to this. I'm experiencing similar things myself, but thankfully it's been getting longer between each panic attack. It was 1 month since my last one until last Sun when i had a panic attack in church, & now it's been almost 1 week since then & I'm back to "normal". It was so hard to convince myself it was just health anxiety for a long time, & i thought there was really something wrong with me, but I'm finally starting to feel normal again over the last few months. I'm mentioning this to help encourage u, so u know that it can get better, &that it will get better. U just have to stick with whatever works for u (even if it doesn't work every time), & eventually ur subconscious will be convinced that u aren't in danger all the time, & start to feel normal. I wish there was an easier way, but it takes lots of effort & especially time to overcome debilitating anxiety or panic attacks. Just keep at it, & u will gradually notice improvement. It won't come all at one time (like i was hoping for myself), & u will have setbacks, like u are having now, but don't lose hope. It takes time, so just try to surround urself with people who care about u, see a professional if possible, experiment with many techniques & methods of anxiety relief (faith in God, meditation, medication, herbal remedies & essential oils, vitamins, exercise, mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy, etc) until u find something that works even a little bit, & most importantly, keep at it, even if it doesn't always seem to work. Persistence was the key for me. U have to trust that everyone who's overcome it knows what they are talking about, even if it doesn't seem like it will work. That's how i thought until i finally started seeing progress, after a long time without it (i always thought my situation was far worse than what others had experienced, so there's no way these methods would apply to me). Keep doing things u know u enjoyed before, cuz u need something to occupy ur mind in the meantime, even if it's not enjoyable while in this mindset. This will help keep ur mind from wandering, & help remove the hyperfocus on the irrational fears u have. I hope this helps u. I gotta run, as i have to try & get sleep. I have to be up in 5 hours for church, & hope i don't have another panic attack there tomorrow. Best of luck, take care.
I am so sorry you're feeling bad. All I can say is I've been there (just pulled out of a 5 week spiral this past week)-you are not alone. Please write as often as you need-we are here for you
thanks RemySue. Writing and communicating has been more of a help than anything I’ve ever done for this anxiety. Knowing I’m not aline I think is going to be the biggest help in getting better. Thanks for reaching out! Take good care!
I just wanna let uno that you are heard and felt I’ve never seen someone put my thoughts into such concise words. Its soo hard to separate thoughts from lies and reality and you feel like when u take one step in the right direction you take two back and it’s disheartening, it makes you not want to even try. But something someone told me really helps and its about meeting myself in my present moment. Anxiety is usually about worrying about the future and catastrophizing it. Sometimes it helps me to focus on one day at a time, to forget about my body sensations (harder said than done) and let my panic be to try and stop fearing it soo much. So what if im not good today or tomorrow im going to be good eventually. And sometimes its soo hard especially when your anxiety is making u feel like your going “crazy”. But it’s important to let go, take a few deep breaths, ground yourself in reality and let your journey take however long it needs to take
Finding our authentic self in the midst of all the hateful lies coming from the Depression is very difficult. Only people with Depression understand this situation. I recommend the Waking Up app by Sam Harris. So many great Spiritual teachings.
yes, yes yes, I could’ve written your post myself. It is such a frustrating feeling to feel trapped by these thoughts! And I do the same thing with catastrophizing myself.
All the great support and advice in this thread is really uplifting.
So many here are so eloquent, I wish I had their way with words.
hi Kelke100! I’m glad, and not - that you can relate. It pains me that so many are suffering with this. The catastrophizing is awful isn’t it?! I do know it’s just that and not try, but nevertheless- it’s there and keeps tricking me to stay in constant fear. The advise here has really been amazing. However you communicate your fears and get them out- is eloquent enough believe me. Sending you lots of hugs and healing vibes 🤗
hey there! What’s going on- how are you feeling? You’ve had worse days than this I’m sure, and here you are. You can get through this. Breathe. Remember, all that shh that is keeping you scared today- LIES! Message me if you need to. Here for you. 🤗
I know how you feel I have dealt with anxiety and depression for 20 years and every time I start to feel an old normal coming back something flips and I don’t see a future with anxiety and depression. Lost my dad las July so the last 6 months have been really hard. I just telling myself we have to take it one day at a time. Hang in there
hi there! Thanks for reaching out to me- I really do appreciate every word. I lost my dad in august, so I know how you feel. The grief is yet another part of this current anxiety and depression.
for me, August 2022- definitely a factor in my sadness and anxiety now. I was ON while caring for him and didn’t allow myself to feel , just did what needed to be done - so it’s all surfacing now I suppose.
Wow. I can identify with that. I have been in a not good place for a while but i think i am slowly climbing out of the hole. There are ups and downs but after declining for so long i think i am starting to average more ups than downs. At least there are parts of days now i feel ok. I hope you are able to climb out of your hole soon. The world looks so different from the bottom of the hole than up near the top. I think that is key for me, how we perceive the world. I try to remember it is the same world, it is my view of it that is changing.
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xx
Not doing well but I managed to get myself to paint 
I’ve been doing so well until now
Was doing so well
Not doing so well
I'm not doing well
