Public journal 1

[Bowser_pancakes]

Life, a fabulous kaleidoscope of colors and energy. Everyone buzzing with positive thoughts and plans for their fantastic futures and lives! Living happily.

I have never been on this wavelength.

I’m the person people avoid, ignore, or talk quietly about. If we were dogs, I’d be the runt- health issues galore, malformation , and probably wouldn’t survive the night.

I feel like I’m always on survival mode; however at this point, my endurance is dwindling. I’m rapidly numbing out, my brain is preparing for hibernation.

This has happened a few times before when I’ve achieved a level of anxiety that I had no idea was possible.

It’s no longer shocking though. I started a new wildly intense position, moved to a different state, all soon after my father passed. The one and only parent that loved us unconditionally. Intense 6 months.

I’m kinda a mess.

[fauxartist]

I'm sorry for your loss,... and your not alone feeling like the runt of the litter. Your dealing with a lot, and an uncertain world around us doesn't help us either.