Boy, my personality disorder has kicked in lately and as a result my ability to handle even the slightest of criticisms has gone. I am also perceiving criticism that isn't even really there or intentional.
When this happens I just hole up and hide from the world. I become barely functional and just abuse myself with shameful talk for being so sensitive and for reacting so strongly.
It can take days or weeks to resurface. I work hard in therapy to manage things. But 50 years of deeply ingrained cognitive distortions are hard to fight, especially when you get hit by those super triggers that bite deep.
Hopefully someday I'll be able to bite back. Grrr.
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ziggypiggy
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I don’t know much about personality disorders, maybe a little about BPD from a friend who talks about what that’s like.
It was an empathy-stretcher for me to learn that some people are overcome with feelings and “explode outward” rather than the inward-turned anxiety and depression. That must be doubly awful, and learning to control it is a lot of work.
I didn’t look it up; is ziggypiggy a Bill and Ted reference?
Personality disordered or not its tough going. It's a good sign you can sometimes lift yourself out. I haven't been able to in forever. Trauma has me frozen. It takes some grr to keep moving on. You have the strength to overcome ziggyp.
I must admit to regular feelings of demotivation, which can become depression If I'm not careful.
At the moment I am in the midst of renovations to my home. Due to cPTSD, I hate having workers in; I feel my sanctuary is being invaded, my dishwasher died, so I'm having to do my least favourite household chore by hand! Grrr! Can't get the dishwasher out, it's rammed up hard under the countertop, so the next job is a new kitchen! Needs it, but I was hoping to put it off until next year, space things out a bit! I'll be chewing the carpets by Christmas!
Had a lot of rain this morning, but now it is drying off but still very humid. I am expecting swarms of flying ants later today, 'tis the season for them, and the right weather, very little wind so all the windows are closed.
In the good news; I am not currently in pain from my Fibromyalgia!
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