Technically new here...: It's been... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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Technically new here...

waih profile image
waih
16 Replies

It's been about a year since I've signed up here. I sort of just made the account and didn't touch it until today. I'm not too sure what to post here other than how I am trying to find healthier ways to express my emotions, especially if I am frustrated or upset.

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waih profile image
waih
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16 Replies
Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

Hello welcome to this kind and supportive community☺️🙏- Hiba

waih profile image
waih in reply to Hb2003

Thanks

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003 in reply to waih

Your welcome 🙏

Doyg profile image
Doyg

Tell us how you feel. What is bothering You? No one will judge you here. We accept you and want to help if we can

waih profile image
waih in reply to Doyg

In all honesty, I have been feeling very frustrated and upset with myself, my past, and my relatives who have been less supportive and more invalidating of my feelings. I feel like a mess most of the time, and only feel a little better when my relatives are away on a vacation.

Veteran250 profile image
Veteran250 in reply to waih

As Doyg has said you can open your heart here, tell us what has been going on in your life, how you are feeling, as Doyg said, you won’t be judged here.

You will find this a caring encouraging supporting community…. Welcome waih 🙂👍

Don.🙂

waih profile image
waih in reply to Veteran250

I am currently a college student trying to find her voice as the youngest of her family. By that, I mean making my own decisions, doing more of the things that I am interested in, and creating the future that I want to see for myself. I still make it my duty to contribute to my family as I still live with them, by doing small things such as chores and being productive not only for myself but for them as well. I have had 4 jobs in the past, and the 3 jobs that I've had were taken out of obligation to appease my parents. The fourth job that I had was by my own choice, but after spending some time at that fourth job, I realized that I was not going to last going down that path, and so quit as a result for the sake of my mental health. I am now currently job searching with a purpose as opposed to searching for the sake of just having a job. I am trying to find something that puts my skills to use as well as something that interests me. I grew tired of going to a job where I had to pretend to be social when hours ago I would have had a mental breakdown; and I am now growing tired of sacrificing my mental health for the sake of people who seem to invalidate my feelings and make me feel ashamed for addressing what I'm feeling. My apologies if this is a long post.

LulaLaRocca profile image
LulaLaRocca in reply to waih

So you basically “inspired” me to make my first post, so thank you. I too signed up awhile ago and I read a lot of the posts but in all honesty I thought I didn’t have anything to say that someone else wasn’t already saying. I decided not to let that nagging voice get the best of me when I read your posts. I might not say the most profound thing you’ve ever read or offer up some advice that will change your life for the better or forever, but I will be 100% honest even if my honesty is redundant, cliche’, and solves nothing. The reason I felt compelled to post is because I know how you feel completely. I’m probably a lot older than you but that’s another reason I had to post. I remember having the same feelings you’re having now about my family while I was in my 20’s, during and after college, and while I worked several, sometimes at the same time, different jobs none of which were my “career” jobs but I still worked myself stupid with all the hours I was putting in and for what I still don’t know. I’m now approaching 40 and living with my mom again, and not since I was 17, because I needed a place to move during COVID and now she has cancer so I’m taking care of her. Long story short, I’m having the same feelings about my family at 37 that I did at 27 and 17. Through the years I have bounced back and forth on who’s to blame and why they are the way they are. I happy to say that now I know myself the best I ever have and I’ve made some serious and difficult changes in my life to avoid certain situations and the emotions that are attached because I know exactly how unhealthy they are. I know because of my family and they are all still exactly the same as they ever were and ever will be. So I’m reaching my breaking point. I took a job I absolutely hate just to have a reason to leave the house but after 9 months I finally quit and I remembered that I don’t have to stay at a job that causes me severe anxiety and no not all jobs do that. Which brings me back to my family. I love them unconditionally, but it’s one sided because their love for me absolutely is on a conditional basis and their conditions are impossible to attain or maintain. It’s not like any of them are perfect yet they except everyone around them to be perfect 100% of the time and when you’re not you become the target of bullying, gossip, lies, intimidation tactics, and even physical abuse which is ok because the person who gets rough has a mental disability so if anything you were wrong for whatever you did that made him have to hurt you. I’ll stop speaking in the third person now. Basically I am still trying to get my family’s love and approval and they are totally clueless how they act on a regular basis at all. They don’t even think they are negative people! It’s driving me insane. Seriously. I really might snap and that brings me to my decision. For my own mental well being I cannot be my mother’s caregiver, I cannot keep living with an older brother who is abusive and no it is not ok or normal, and it’s ok to admit that being overwhelmed, under appreciated, ignored and mistreated by a certain group of people, family or co-workers, is reason enough to separate yourself from the group and that’s not unreasonable or immature. In fact it’s very mature and extremely understandable. Most people put up with a lot of BS because we were kind of taught that we were supposed to. To be a “grown up” meant not doing what you love but what pays the bills and when it comes to feelings well it’s better to be quiet than a cry baby. Maybe I’m getting all of that out of your posts because I’ve been bottling my emotions for way too long. Maybe, but I definitely know how you feel. I really do. And because I don’t have a time machine I’m posting here and to you to say don’t get to be my age and have the regrets of not speaking up sooner, or to someone who has now passed away, and anything that gets in the way of your purest mental well being is not worth your time. I can literally pick up any one of my many many journals I’ve kept over the years and turn to any page and they sound frighteningly similar. Same complaints, same sadness, same plans for the future, same ideas for things I just never find time for, same people doing the same things driving me the same kind of crazy. Don’t be the snake eating it’s own tail. If you can manage that, not to eat yourself in a never ending cycle of chaos and stupidity, I think everything is going to be ok for you. I mean that. If you don’t have hope, I do. I have a lot of hope. It’s why I keep trying to make my mom laugh or my brother to say he loves me. As futile as my situation may be it’s because I let it get that way. You are in control, don’t forget that. Life is crazy, and sad, and frustrating but also funny, and cool sometimes, even boring a lot of the time. I have completely gone off course. I am so sorry. I just wish you the best and want all the happiness in the world for you. It’s yours, take it. And tell all your friends some crazy lady wrote the longest post ever about nothing I’d read it to you but she’s actually still writing… I think you’re on the right path and it sounds like you’re a good decision maker even if you make decisions based on feelings. That’s what is right for you and you know it. Don’t apologize for being true to yourself. I really hope you find a job you love but never stop looking until you do. Until then working is still honest and there’s a difference between the two. Lastly, make your own family and treat them like family! They will be the ones to untie the noose around your neck.

in reply to waih

Do you have a therapist to talk to? Relatives and people in general usually don’t understand what we go through every single day. Only others who suffer like we do can understand. Some days are really hard. I hope you start to feel better. 😊

waih profile image
waih in reply to

I've recently seen two therapists, but those sessions came to an end as they were supposed to last for 6 months. And yeah I agree with you on how people won't understand what's going on unless they've dealt with it or are currently going through it.

Feel free to post what you would like. Asking for tips or advise is good. Or just vent. You can even post on topics you find interesting and have a discussion so long as it follows community guidelines. Other than that you can PM people you want to talk further with or just remain on the forum itself and post about what is currently on your mind. Do what makes you comfortable. On that note, I am around if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to. I hope you are doing well and have a great day.

waih profile image
waih in reply to endofheartache1290

Thank you. I appreciate that.

in reply to waih

HiI would just like to say I'm pleased you have opened up, not always easy to do. I'm here if you need me

Take care and stay safe Lynne

waih profile image
waih in reply to

Thank you for the comment. I appreciate that very much.

in reply to waih

You are so very welcome. We are all here for each other 🤗😊

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox

I would reccomend using this site to express how you are feeling. Some great support on here.

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