Fear

[Bheara]

Have you ever wondered where fear comes from? I don’t mean fear when you encounter something scary or hear a noise when you are alone at home. I mean the fear that creeps into your thoughts like a blanket and before you know it you are being smothered in the blanket, but you can’t shake it off, fear is now engulfing you to the point that even though it looks like you are sitting watching television, you are quietly pleading for the fear monster to go to sleep just so you can get a few minutes of peace.

I often wondered if I invited fear into my life. Think about it, although fear is a normal human emotion (every species feels fear), it must have come from somewhere. I didn’t suddenly think, “oh, wait a minute, I feel that something is missing from my life, let’s invite fear”.

I have always thought of myself as strong, but now I wonder if I was never strong, or was I just a darn competent chameleon. It is so easy to shed a part of yourself when you are immersed in the role of the moment–whatever role that the scene requires (I don’t care if it is office worker, lawyer, doctor, cleaning person–they are all roles). But what happens when you no longer have a script, when it is just you sitting looking at four walls and you have invited the fear monster into your life?

Can you uninvite fear (I do sing a lot of Alanis Morrissette’s “Uninvited” in my head)?

I know there are more like me, sitting right now battling monsters, thinking the monster has retreated only to be attacked by fear like Cato in the Pink Panther movies.

So, the question is how do we uninvite the monster we have been feeding and taking care of?

[Jeff1943]

You dismiss the monster through understanding, knowledge and an end to bewilderment.

As you say, a measure of fear is normal in all of us, it serves a purpose of alerting us to danger and fight or flight. But when through abnormal stress and worry our nervous system can take no more it becomes over sensitised.

In this state all our fears and worries are magnified out of all proportion, let's say ten fold. A stomach ache must be cancer. A new boss means I'll lose my job. A phone call must be bad news. We've all been there.

So we become trapped in a vicious circle of fear causing symptoms causing more fear causing more symptoms.

Recovery comes through knowing that the power of anxiety is limited: it is a paper tiger not deserving of your fear. Can't kill you, can't disable you, can't drive you crazy. And you know that all your fears are exaggerated by a factor of ten.

Remember, St George slayed the dragon and you can too.

[Sleeplessme]

Sounds to me like you're describing anxiety? In which case yes you can uninvite it! Fear isn't mystical, it's physical. Its adrenaline. You feel it come and you make it worse by fearing it. Understanding the physiological side of it is a massive step to sending it packing.

[Bheara in reply to Sleeplessme]

It sounds so wonderfully simplistic, but in reality slaying the dragon takes effort, support and patience. I never wrote that it cannot be overcome...

[Sleeplessme in reply to Bheara]

Without wanting to sound condescending, it actually is simple. Fear is adrenaline, nothing more. Breaking it down into a physiological explanation and understanding why and how it works, you'll hopefully feel as silly as I did for letting it bother you!

It's a little like worrying about an event that hasn't occured. You don't know what's going to happen... It's silly! Most of the time fear makes you imagine a far worse scenario that what actually transpires, and you either feel silly or simply elated that fear was wrong.