Have you ever wondered where fear comes from? I don’t mean fear when you encounter something scary or hear a noise when you are alone at home. I mean the fear that creeps into your thoughts like a blanket and before you know it you are being smothered in the blanket, but you can’t shake it off, fear is now engulfing you to the point that even though it looks like you are sitting watching television, you are quietly pleading for the fear monster to go to sleep just so you can get a few minutes of peace.
I often wondered if I invited fear into my life. Think about it, although fear is a normal human emotion (every species feels fear), it must have come from somewhere. I didn’t suddenly think, “oh, wait a minute, I feel that something is missing from my life, let’s invite fear”.
I have always thought of myself as strong, but now I wonder if I was never strong, or was I just a darn competent chameleon. It is so easy to shed a part of yourself when you are immersed in the role of the moment–whatever role that the scene requires (I don’t care if it is office worker, lawyer, doctor, cleaning person–they are all roles). But what happens when you no longer have a script, when it is just you sitting looking at four walls and you have invited the fear monster into your life?
Can you uninvite fear (I do sing a lot of Alanis Morrissette’s “Uninvited” in my head)?
I know there are more like me, sitting right now battling monsters, thinking the monster has retreated only to be attacked by fear like Cato in the Pink Panther movies.
So, the question is how do we uninvite the monster we have been feeding and taking care of?