Too much toxic weight to carry

[AzulMaria]

It's not like I've ever thought about suicide, but you already have the feeling that you are carrying so much things inside you, so much words not said, that this will consume you, make you sick, and you are gonna die eventually because of that?

[Dolphin14]

Sounds like things are very difficult for you right now.You have to work on that toxic stuff. Is it people? Your job?

[AzulMaria in reply to Dolphin14]

Well, sometimes I think is just myself. My choices. I'm very lonely because of them. But I keep with this choices because of a plan you know? I keep holding in this hope that I need to handle this loneliness now, because of something that I might reach next year. Is it crazy put yourself in so much misery now, to try to reach your dreams in the future?

[Dolphin14 in reply to AzulMaria]

For me it would depend on the goal and the level of misery.

It's one year. If the goal was worth it and my mental health could deal with it I would hold out. That's just what I would do. I can't speak to your issue.

But... I would never let my mental health suffer. I did it before. Tried to take a different road in my career. I couldn't find anything quick enough and I really burned out.

Write down the pros and cons. But my answer would be health first.

Take care of yourself.