I don’t know what to do anymore.

I recently had to quit my job after a short yet long 7 months. I dreaded going to work so much that every morning I would cry as I waited for the first train out of the station and consider jumping onto the tracks. The mental toll was too high but now that I’ve quit there’s only been minor improvements. I feel useless being at home and the constant criticism of my fiancé’s family over the job fiasco has me doubting that I made the right decision in leaving. I just want it all to stop. I want to stop feeling and thinking. Lately it’s difficult to step out of bed at a reasonable time and the days I do it’s just as difficult to step out the door. I just want to be normal and stop having these terrible and intrusive thoughts. It seems everyone around me has their lives together except for me. I’m just constantly stumbling in the dark.

[Windsorgardener5087]

Hi, Sorry to hear you felt the need to quit your job. Sometimes when our mental health is not the best, holding down a job is a stressor which needs to be put on hold.My first question is was there anything happening in the workplace which was bullying or harassing in nature which would affect you more? If so you might be able to lodge a claim.

If you are at work, you are entitled to consult an employee assistance program to ask for some workplace adjustments to help you stay at work. You are protected by nondiscrimination laws.

At this time, take care of your health and wellbeing by seeing a doctor to develop a health care plan which will include counselling and/or medication in your treatment plan. All the best.

[Grateful71]

Hi Hidden, I know you are doubting yourself but it really sounds like you made the right decision to leave your job. I think it's time to focus on yourself and I know that's not easy when you might not feel you deserve it or lack the energy to know where to start. No one else is living your life so just take one day at a time and feel what is right for you. Sometimes I cook something healthy which can take all day between shopping and getting it ready but it feels better than nothing ☺️ . No one knows what the future holds, I think this year has proved that truth!! Look after yourself 💛

[Hidden]

Trust me you made the right decision quitting. Sometimes our emotions are for a reason to help guide us. Good thing you don’t jump.

I do little things everyday. Like clean a bit everyday. I have to talk to someone or put music to get going.

These thought are annoying. Sounds like you have it bad. You can try mindful exercises. It’s helps me. So if you are washing dishes you focus on dishes not thoughts. So how it feels. The water is hot.ouch haha. It’s wet. Ooolala.

You need fiancé to be motivating. Positive. Or personally it’s a sign not to marry someone like that. Period.

When shit is good people all nice and want a person. And when shit goes down people change. Fuck that.

Turn on the lights. Keep them on. I know what you mean. But turn them on.

Maybe on days you don’t have appointment you can call help hot line. There are many free ones. Plus here is really helpful. Or journal

And many of us feel that people got their shit together and they successful. I am learning with this pandemic. All that matters is health. Lol. And well we do need money.

You could work from home. There are lots of online survey jobs. Marketing working from home jobs.

Or you can make 300 a month on survey junkie and survey branded. Home answering surveys.

Or so a paper root. I notice me doing shit for me. And not being around people. Lowers my anxiety.