I'm Terrified

[offbeat]

After a long week of not feeling well, I've decided that tomorrow I'm going to the hospital. Not knowing what's wrong with me physically is terrifying. I live alone and my vehicle doesn't run, so my plan is to call my pcp and arrange to be picked up by the ems.

I hope it's nothing to serious like a bad asthma attack because I do have asthma. My worst fear, of course, is heart failure because I always fear the worst.

I'm going to pack a bag just in case I'm admitted like my ipad, crossword puzzles and a book. Every time I go to the hospital I always pack like their going to keep me only to find out there's nothing seriously wrong with me and send me on my way. I'm hoping they'll do the same tomorrow.

I have zero contact with people so I'm sure it's not covid. At least that I'm sure of.

Wish me luck! Thank you for reading.

[kleelibby]

Hey offbeat, isn’t that the worst feeling, being told you’re “fine” but knowing you’re not. I empathize with you. Good luck at the hospital.

[offbeat in reply to kleelibby]

Thank you. I'm ok with being told I'm fine. I just want this over with because this is the worst I've ever felt.

[Aspetta]

I hope you feel/get better soon. You deserve it. I was in your shoes for many years. You will be in a better frame of mind soon.

[offbeat in reply to Aspetta]

I can't sit at home worried sick because something is wrong. I just want an end to this nightmare.

[Aspetta in reply to offbeat]

You need to learn how to manage it. That was and is still hard for me. I have had anxiety and depression since my early twenties. I am now 51. You have to live and learn. From those experiences you will grow and become a better person!! I sometimes now think of my anxiety and depression as growing pains. That helps me to move on from that dark cold place I am in.

[Hidden]

If you're not admitted let us know what's going on. We care here!!!☺

[offbeat in reply to Hidden]

I will definitely give an update.