Seminary and Spiritual Trauma

[mvillarreal]

Hi, everyone. I had a spiritually traumatic experience from 2010-2012 that has deeply affected my life. At the time, I didn't feel that I was helped adequately and decided that I wanted to be the minister who gives people that help; however, being in seminary keeps triggering things from the past and re-traumatizing me over and over again. I'm halfway done with my three-year program, but I don't know if I can keep going with how many times I find myself getting triggered. How do I deal with this? Part of me just wants to quit, but I know that, deep down, that's not really what I want.

[Hidden]

That's a tough one. Let me try and equate with one of my experiences. In addition to this community, I am part of another HU community. I joined this other community right after dealing with a physical trauma that one of my medical conditions can bring about (this group is for said medical condition). I came through my trauma and wanted to provide hope and encouragement to others maybe going through the same thing.

Unfortunately I had something happen in that group several months ago that shook me up very badly. Despite this, I am still a member of that community. I love helping others, which is why I can't say goodbye to the group. I've deleted my account a couple times since then, only to open a new one each time. To this day I can't shake that past event, though.

Half of me tells me to leave the group behind; this half tells me that I'm not respecting myself by continuing on. The other half of me doesn't want to keep getting hurt, but also doesn't want to say goodbye.

I guess we just need to ask ourselves if we are doing what is healthy for us. With situations like ours it is very hard, though.

[JohnKx]

Take care of yourself first. If you want to learn how to heal others, take care of yourself first. If you are not in therapy, please seek out a qualified therapist, preferably one with experience and training in treating trauma.

Also,, remember that you can take time off from the seminary and return later. You do not have to just push through. Forcing yourself to stay in an uncomfortable situation can be another form of re-traumatizing. Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time.

Do you have a spiritual advisor at the Seminary? Consult with them as well.