How do you know the difference between anger and hate? Do I hate them or am I mad at them? How do I forgive?

[Fisher55]

Help?

[Hidden]

I recently asked how to forgive too. These videos helped me.

1. youtu.be/mEK2pIiZ2I0

2. youtu.be/7un8uug7grc — religious conversation, but the things they are talking about are useful, even if you aren't religious

3. youtu.be/fBWlmyN0MuI — I can say only that “magical words” don't exist, so if you say repeatedly “I forgive you” it may not work.

Wish you best!

[Fisher55 in reply to Hidden]

Actually these were all great. Now I know that it’s just going to take time and healing. I only ever thought of the fact that the wrong doers never received any form of punishment. They were supposed to go to jail and be excommunicated from the church but instead everything was dropped due to ridiculous reasons. It’s been extremely hard thinking of the fact that they got away with everything, but in reality they are stuck. I can keep moving forward and I just need to find someway to feel forgiveness for them.

[Caseopia]

Thank you for posting this question. I don't know how to forgive most. But then some I forgive when I shouldnt. Hate is a strong word but I've used it plenty. When I'm mad, I usually realize eventually I was actually hurt. And the hurt turned to anger. I get mad too often. But for me its hurt turned inside out. I can be angry too. I would like to follow your post to see what suggestions people give on forgiveness. I also need to work on that.

[fauxartist]

That's a mixed bag, but it was once explained to me that anger is pent up emotion that has not been able to be, or can't be expressed. But anger is also a reaction and can for some people be impulsive. Hate is the precursor to rage...and that is very hard to contain. The key is to find all the elements within yourself, and the situation, and person, or person’s you’re angry with, or hate....why do you hate them, what were or are the circumstances....start peeling the onion so to speak....’Hate and anger are like acid in a vessel, eventually it will eat its way through’

When it comes to forgiveness...that's another whole complicated issue....forgiving yourself, forgiving someone else, but not having to forget their actions or having to ever have to directly deal with them for your own emotional well being. I don't believe everyone believes the same about forgiveness either...there is no one size fits all that many religions believe. A child who has been repeatedly abused doesn't have to tell that abuser they forgive them and all is okay. To forgive someone who does not believe they have done anything wrong....and does not believe they need your forgiveness....A predator that is a repeat offender and does what they do as an animal impulse does not need your forgiveness.....they just do what they do. So you may at best be able to forgive someone, but you never have to forget what they did that may have left you to live with a life time of damage emotionally, we just learn how to believe that we can take our power back, and never blame ourselves for the evil someone may have done to us, whether it's physical or emotional...and as adults, we take responsibility for our own actions.

[Sabio77]

Fisher55 thank you for reaching out here. it is ok to disagree with someone. however, to harbor or stay focused on the negative words or actions of that person is not healthy. I have found out that if I forgive a person for whatever reason, then I feel "set free" from the bondage that it gave me for feeling that way. to forgive a person means to not necessarily like or agree with what was said or done but to let them know that you have released whatever it was and you have forgiven them. it is very important to "release" the "bondage" that you feel. You deserve peace of mind.

[Hidden]

Forgiveness is for yourself if there’s no participation or reconciliation with the other parties. It’s a choice and a right for your mental health and your future. It’s not your job to fix them & if the system didn’t work that’s not your fault. We know right & wrong just because they didn’t get justice served upon them the judgement & knowledge on your end is meaningful and will always be a face to their crime they know deep down inside. Your life doesn’t need to carry their burden. Big hug