Confusion

[PackerGirl]

Hello,

I’m feeling a bit confused. Almost everyone I know is obsessed with the covid virus and is experiencing great anxiety. They’re very anxious and feeling confined. I, however, actually feel less anxious than I normally do. I’ve been essentially home bound for 2 years now due to severe depression and anxiety so really nothing has changed for me at all. I feel badly for everyone who is experiencing anxiety and depression for the first time but like I said, I’m the same as always. I have panic attacks, not related to covid, have insomnia issues and stay in bed most of my days anyway. I’m just wondering if it seems odd that the covid issue hasn’t made things worse for me? Why might that be? I’m at a loss

[CanuckAnon]

I think that you are like many people who are not stressing about the virus. You are going about business as usual. I understand what u mean about how life not changing much as mine has not really changed either... just not going to dollar store right now as it’s closed.

I still go outside for walks but my world is pretty much tethered to the house so life has not changed that much and I live in a rural area so streets are not abandoned looking so life has remained the same as always...

My house is the same safe zone for me as it always has been... could this be why you are so calm? Your house is like your armour against the outside world?

[PackerGirl in reply to CanuckAnon]

Selfishly, I’m glad to hear I’m not alone. Truthfully, I think I’m still so depressed after a significant loss 2 weeks ago, I just feel safest in isolation. I feel safe where I’m staying but most secure in my bed. Maybe I’m too selfish to feel increased anxiety as I’m so consumed with myself and my recent loss? I will admit, when I allowed myself to consider the possibility of contracting the virus, I felt a sense of relief that perhaps there was a socially acceptable way to pass, ending my suffering. That thought has passed now but I’m still not feeling any anxiety about it...

[CanuckAnon in reply to PackerGirl]

That’s good. I think depression may be a factor but at the same time it isn’t because depression and anxiety will take something that’s nagging us in the back of mind even the smallest fear or insecurity and blast it on steroids to the forefront of our mind and blow it out of proportion imo...

Perhaps you are using it as an excuse not to leave bed without knowing or acknowledging it or you really just feel safe in house that you just don’t consider yourself to be at risk? I get the wanting suffering to end... I felt that often but never let it go farther than that...

Staying calm and not panicking is actually doing yourself good as your immune system is not being compromised by stress hormone cortisol... 😊

All your armour is intact so perhaps you could try feeling safe outside of bed? Maybe try doing 1 thing around house and 1 thing for yourself? Start small to try and get you feeling better about yourself so u can start to move past your loss which I’m very sorry to hear u are suffering from on top of depression/anxiety...😊☀️🌷☕️

[PackerGirl in reply to CanuckAnon]

Thanks so much for your thoughtful replies, I really appreciate it. I think the loss and depression have resulted in me “checking out” from life. I have the space and opportunity to get outside everyday, I’m going to try to seek support to help motivate me, I think support on this would really help! Thanks for the idea! - Kelli