Drained

[Bluzzle]

Some days I just feel like nothing. Time to curl up and give up on life for a while, not that I want to die, but to just not exist for a day. My body gets sore and achy, I feel sick and sad. I immerse myself in TV and drown out all reality, aside from sleeping. I just want someone to hold me but that is something that has been so out of reach for so long and sometimes it feels like it will never happen again. I think about my short life and how if something happened to me tomorrow I would have never been able to experience that intimacy again and my life would have been so incomplete. I guess this is one of my ultimate fears that I find myself pondering in emotions like these, that my day to day life can feel so unfulfilling that I am missing out on the point of living. I want to do everything I can to soak up the time I have, but it seems like I can never find the way.

[Bcrawford16]

I have felt drained myself for these past few months. I have back pain all the time from tensed muscles and I get so irritated so easily. This past weekend I literally stayed in bed the whole time except shower and eat. I feel so down and all I want to do is eat and sleep. Have no motivation. It’s been a long time since I too have felt that intimacy and it’s hard. It’s hard living in this world without a partner to be there for you. I hope you feel better soon and find someone that will be there for you. It’s hard nowadays.

[Bluzzle in reply to Bcrawford16]

Thank you for your response and your concern! It makes all the difference that someone can relate and care. I know I will feel better eventually and it helps to let it out for a while. Back pain is so terrible it can really mess with your entire body and I am so sorry to hear your struggling. Have you maybe tried any remedies to aleviate any of the pain? maybe a heated rice pack, heating pad, or icy hot? I feel foolish mentioning the obvious but who knows it may be helpful. I hope you can find something small to accomplish that may build to more motivation or spark some joy for you. I find trying to start small can act as stepping stones to try and get out of that funk. Even if its a doodle, or going outside to get the mail, any small simple thing to break you free of the cycle. I hope you find relief and thank you for your concern!

[Bcrawford16 in reply to Bluzzle]

You are welcome! And yes my heating pad is my best friend. I think I’m going to start doing yoga just to stretch the muscle. Where I sit at a desk I think it’s getting the best of me.