college failure

[keepgoing123]

i’m suppose to be graduating college in like a year but i haven’t had the heart to tell my parents that i haven’t been able to get it together for 3 years. i feel terrible and this keeps me up at night all the time. i don’t know what to do. my parents are super strict and they would most likely disown me if they ever found out. i know i’m smart but for some reason i can’t finish a semester. and school is all i’ve ever known. again i don’t know what to do.

[Hidden]

Hey there,

I can empathize with your issues. Several times when I was younger and in school, I was just lucky I was the oldest kid (the only in college) and my parents were too busy to notice my grades. I made great grades in high school, but I wasn't transitioning well and usually was too busy working. College gets a lot of people because it places the sole responsibility on you. They collect your money, but it's up to you to do all the juggling...and usually without even a starter course in "How To Juggle 101". Multiple teachers who don't care or understand that you also have work in other classes sling work at you....and well...it's up to us to make that all happen. It can be a lot on anxious, panicked, or depressed folks especially. You aren't alone in all of this. But don't forget what you said, you are smart...so maybe it's time to figure out how you can go about getting through a semester. Reducing course loads, taking some easier but pertinent classes alongside one difficult one, or whatever it might be.

But now for the parents. I would truly hope if you sat down with your parents to have a heart to heart honesty conversation that they would not disown you. Your story is common. It happens to a lot of people. They might ask why you didn't come to them sooner. Usually parents are strict because they care which is because they love you. Anxious thinking might trick us into thinking the worst case scenario...like being disowned. When I went to my parents, we tried to make a plan. I found a community college that was cheaper, closer to home, and enrolled in what I felt I could handle. If it was too easy or too much, I adjusted. Going to your parents will be tough, yes, but I think it will lift an enormous burden you've been holding for years off your shoulders. Be honest and let them know how you feel and felt all these years. Let them know you need some guidance and that, if true, you'd like to make good and finish school. I think this is your best opportunity with your parents though I do understand your reluctance. It is a difficult conversation, but ultimately setting it up will make you look serious, concerned, and responsible.

Just my opinion and I also hope you are able to find out what to do. Honesty will go a long way, I think. Best of luck and know that you aren't alone in what has happened and how you feel. No matter the outcome or your decision as to how to go about this, we are here to support you. Take care, best of luck, and please let us know how things go.

[Celtic27]

Hi there can you restructure your course and still be able finish it even if you have to take longer? Can you not have a chat with your college about getting back on tract so you can finish the course they maybe more helpful than think! Take care and all the best david

[Dolphin14]

This is a difficult time for you. You are carrying a lot in your shoulders, this can lead to much anxiety and depression.

I'm going to defer any further response. Veritas has offered a lot of information for you. His response has excellent information and guidance.

You will get through this