Happy New Year? Not so much...

It's the last day of 2018, which was a bad year for me, and I'm not sorry to see it go. I am however, not looking forward to the new year because I don't see that anything is going to change. As with a lot of people, the holidays make things worse. I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day alone because my family pretty much sucks. And it looks like I'll be seeing in the new year alone as well. Not a great way to start out 2019. That's how I started the past couple of new years and each of those years were very lonely. But I'm trying to have hope that things will be different. I wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope things are better for us all in 2019.

[Hidden]

I hope things are different, it will be a new year, may it be much better 💜

[vtshepherd]

I can relate to everything you wrote. I come from a family of narcissists. I've had to go no contact this year. Holidays are very hard. I'm an empath......the exact opposite. i wish things were different but they will never be. We need to be kind to ourselves and remember we are doing the best we can. Don't give up. ...I keep telling myself that and Lolly don't you give up either. it's very hard! ❤

[Hidden in reply to vtshepherd]

Thanks, vtshepherd. The majority of my family are self-centered, self-absorbed, thoughtless narcissists. I'm like the unwanted stepdaughter (just call me Cinderella!) of the family. I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas day alone, not even a phone call. Not that I expected anything from them. I can't give up because at the very least I have to be here for my disabled brother and two granddaughters. I do need to take better care of myself in the new year so I can be here for them. Yes, it is very hard and it would be easier to just give up but I won't, I can't. It's a new year, a new beginning and we need to embrace that and take care of us.

[Hidden]

I hope 2019 turns out to be a better one.

[Hidden]

You and me both! It's up to us to make things better which won't be easy but it's not impossible. At this point I feel so broken I don't know if there's enough duct tape and glue to put me back together lol. It'll be challenging for sure.

[puglove0093]

Things can change in an instant! Not to say your family will change, but who knows what tomorrow holds! I am sorry your years have felt lonely, I can relate. It is painful and slow. Do you have friends you could spend holidays with? Or go to their families gatherings? If you do, I'm sure they wouldn't mind you joining! I hope your year takes a better turn and I'm praying for newness and fullness in 2019.

[Hidden in reply to puglove0093]

Thank you, puglove. I do have one friend who always invites me but I feel like I'm intruding so I stayed home. I have no hope of my family changing. I accepted that fact a long time ago. I'm hoping for a better year and know I have to do my part to make changes happen. I hope we all have a better year.