How do I put myself into words? I’ve been through a lot. Like all of us have.
For years I walked around with the weight of anxiety without even knowing it. All my steps filled with anxious thoughts and all my thoughts accompanied with even more anxious emotions. The spinning, the cycling, the out-of-control overwhelm - my constant companions.
This is just how I thought life to be, one problem to solve (usually regarding myself) after another. Our minds are powerful tools that can create places of beauty and yet also places of torment. I don’t want to live trapped in my mind, always feeling like life is happening outside of me.
So of course, like many of us do, I researched the stuff out of what could possibly be wrong with me. Although the question “What am I doing wrong?!” never seems to help. Thankfully, as I learned that I dealt with anxiety, I also learned how to deal with it. I happened upon some very powerful lines of thought from Claire Weekes, Seneca, Daniel Wegner, and Oliver Burkeman (I’m sure there’s more).
I’m beginning to see life as more than a list of problems or things to be done as we tick away towards the end. I know life is meant to be lived, not just worried about. But so often we get trapped in our minds, so very far from where we want to be. We want to live a meaningful life with purpose, yet we’re often struggling to just barely make it through the day.
Even with this intense struggle, I don’t see anxiety as necessarily a problem of something we’re doing wrong, but something that we haven’t learned yet. There is nothing wrong with us other than the fact we happened to be born human. We are the more courageous and ambitious ones for trying to figure out just what that means.
I’m currently compiling my experiences, research, thoughts and wonderings about life and anxiety into a book to share with others like us. So that we know that we are not broken, we are not crazy, and we are not alone.
Thank you for listening and I'm glad to be here on the journey.
