I’m the most negative person I know - Anxiety and Depre...

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I’m the most negative person I know

Pink_mochi profile image
15 Replies

Sometimes I wonder why I’m so negative

And from where did I get it from

Everything I say is negative and I’m aware of it I really wanna change and I try to all the time, clearly I’m not trying hard enough because nothing changed.

I really want to be a little bit less negative

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Pink_mochi profile image
Pink_mochi
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15 Replies
Tedddy profile image
Tedddy

This is a hard one to get yourself out of, especially if you're an anxious pessimist by nature like I am. It's kind of cliche' but I've found that a little gratitude journal or list in the morning helps me. I also try to listen to music or podcasts that are uplifting and not negative. I think the media we surround ourselves with can make a huge difference. For example, I stopped reading the news and listening to crime podcasts, and changed them instead for uplifting ones, and I've found it makes my mind focus on more positive things. Maybe try that?

Pink_mochi profile image
Pink_mochi in reply toTedddy

I’ll most definitely, thank you for your advice

Dubba61 profile image
Dubba61

Hello Jasmine, I know what you mean because I used to be very negative too. What worked for me was, to swap each negative thought for a positive. Sort of "flip" it. It takes time n some work but, each negative has a positive opposite, so I used to focus on that. Most of the time, I don't have to try now. It's become natural to me. And I'm quite a positive person these days. As Teddy has said most News is negative and Social media, too. So I have nothing to do with those. Before I sleep I try to think of 3 nice , positive things that have happened that day. Could be. Something as simple as enjoying what I had for dinner, or a flower blooming in my garden. Anything really they gave me a moment's Joy. I hope something works for you. 😊🌻✌️

Pink_mochi profile image
Pink_mochi in reply toDubba61

Awwww I’m glad to hear you got over the whole negative thinking, thank you for your advice

Dubba61 profile image
Dubba61 in reply toPink_mochi

👍

You don’t have to be negative Jasmine! Keep flipping your mind around to the positive until it starts happening on its own! It takes a lot of practice, but very worth the effort. Be determined to take charge of your thoughts. Replace the negative with positive. It’s completely doable. Practice...wishing you the best!!

Pink_mochi profile image
Pink_mochi in reply to

Thank youu

I hear affirmations might possibly work if you write one down than write your first response to to it than write it down again write down a more realistic positive response. Than go back Step 1 again do same thing repeat this over and over ... (An example I a great person. 1st response : I am an awful person 2nd respond is this really true and so forth .. repeat write again .. I am a great person.. 1st response no I’m not .. 2nd response I’ve done good things on my life. Etc.....) continue repeating

Rpan profile image
Rpan

Seeing a flaw within is the first step, good for you. It’s just a pattern of thinking you learned along the way. All we can really do is add the positive thoughts and feelings. We can’t change the negative thoughts but we can add positive thoughts. You can learn this new skill with practice. Don’t focus on changing it focus on adding a new skill. When you find yourself thinking negatively just acknowledge it and say, “it’s ok” than add a positive, even if you don’t believe it, this will likely happen all the time, that’s ok, just keep adding positive thoughts. It takes 21 days to learn a new habit, it takes baby steps,but it will happen.

in reply toRpan

It’s a affirmation- dialogue process .. eventually you reveal the subconscious and why you are a great person and not a awful person. You shed light on this negative thinking and become more aware of why you think you are a bad a person. It’s a lot more than just affirmations and find out there is not validity to this..

Oh heck, I'm known as the queen of the yabbut. Has being a "negative" person ever helped you in your life? in your job? Are you really negative, or are you realistic (and maybe a little cynical)? Who exactly thinks you're so negative (and whom you believe to the extent you'd want to change because of their opinion)? I see the downside of everything, BUT I also can see the upside. Everyone seems to see the upside, so why do they need me to confirm their ability to see the upside? Sometimes seeing the downside helps strategically.

If you can, figure out whether your viewpoint bothers you and you alone, or if it bothers you because it bothers other people and that bothers you. Seriously, you are who you are and you do not have to change because some people have a problem with it. I have to imagine that there are some people in your life who "get you," and those are the only people worth keeping anyway.

If you find you're always saying negative things to yourself about yourself and it's stopping you from changing things about yourself that YOU want to change (again, not things you think you should change because others say so or because you're comparing yourself to others), realize that if it is changeable, your opinion doesn't matter; you just have to decide to change it.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda has been one of the biggest challenges of my life. There's still a bunch of stuff I'd like to do differently, but I have to find my reasons to make these changes. When I know I have my own personal reason, I am able to make a change. Until then, it is impossible. Waiting for things to change... fails. Trying to change because others might like me better if...fails. Trying to change because I care what others think...fails.

Letting me be me works. Not trying to be something I'm not works. Funny thing...when I stop trying so hard to say and do the things I think would be more acceptable, more people seem to like having me around.

You be you. There's nothing wrong with who you are. If you need to change anything, change the things that will honestly make YOUR life more to YOUR liking.

P.S.: You got it from your parents.

Pink_mochi profile image
Pink_mochi in reply to

I am mostly negative to myself and it bothers people when I say negative stuff around them, but I wanna change cause I myself want to, and my father was positive always, so I don’t think I got it from my parents

in reply toPink_mochi

We got almost everything from our parents, even though most people think they had a wonderful childhood (hey, they're only human). But either way, it's always gonna bother some people when you say negative stuff around them. It can hurt you if you are negative to yourself about yourself, even though most other people are the same way. There are a lot of behavioral techniques out there to try to quell some of the negative self talk. Most of it doesn't work for me. I already know I'm cynical and pessimistic, but I still think I'm a strategic pessimist (e.g., If I expect the worst, I have a good chance of being pleasantly surprised and I am rarely disappointed).

Now, on the self talk thing...I don't think it ever completely goes away, but you can learn to stop accepting it from yourself. I used to tell my brain to shut up -- didn't work. Now, say I find myself looking in the mirror and going "oh god that's a lot of fat." Now, I can stand there and look and admit that yes, that's fat (but here's the change), and when I'm ready to do something about it, I will. In the meantime, yep, that's what it is.

See, neither negative nor positive. Not trying to fool myself; not putting myself down. Giving myself credit for knowing what to do when I'm ready to do it. Most of us negative people really are realists. If you allow yourself to see and accept what's real -- and don't judge everything -- you'll feel better. It doesn't mean it will be easier to change everything, but you may see some progress. But also know that if you can accept yourself as you are, others will come to accept you, too.

I know that you're a good person because you care that you think you're bothering people. Being a good person is a big deal; there aren't as many of them as you'd think. Maybe you can accept that you're a good person. Maybe a kind person? Maybe a considerate person? Maybe a caring person? Maybe a generous person? Nothing negative about any of those things, right?

You be you, girl.

Pink_mochi profile image
Pink_mochi in reply to

❤️❤️😊

Sometimes it could of been have been a simple fear of disapproval, disappointing people or criticism, or doing something wrong etc. where this transpired from. Somethings help me is positive self help podcasts, books, mantra setting a timer on your phone for I will not do it for 5 minutes, replacing with one negative thinking with two happy moments of your life you have had.. Food for thought

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