Annoyed

[Katelan24]

My fiancé is lying to me. But gets upset that I don’t trust him. Any thoughts

[Krazie]

How can you trust someone who lies? To be trusted means being trustworthy.

[Katelan24 in reply to Krazie]

I just don’t understand.

[Krazie in reply to Katelan24]

Is it my response you don't understand or your boyfriend? If it is your boyfriend, he sounds like a person, who will throw you off balance to try to get you to stop questioning him about his lies. If his lies are frequent, and often have no reason at all to be telling the lie; if he insists his lie is truth; even in the face of evidence that it wasn't, I suggest you seriously reconsider any further involvement with him. Unless you like deception, and being lied to. But how much of a stable relationship can you have, when there is no trust? The basis of any good relationship is built on trust. Lying destroys trust.

[Hidden]

Couples therapy.

[Hidden]

Sounds like you don’t need to get married anytime soon.

[AZ1970]

Trust your gut. Dishonesty is not ok in a relationship. Trust is earned. It is not a right. That said, if it is your own stuff coming up and being paranoid, give yourself some space to sort things out before you talk to him.

[Ryanburns]

I have some what of the same situation but not exactly. My fiancé gets mad when I hang out with females who in the past ive either dated or they have asked me out. I can see her point but she is still best friends with one of her exs. I know they dont do anything because hes like a brother to me but its still the fact that its one sided. Relationships are all about trust and if you dont trust someone or they dont trust you the best thing to do is turn and walk away. In my case I sat down with her and told her if she wants to hang out with him then I should be allowed to hang out with females ive had relationships with too. We talked it out and in the end we agreed that it was ok because we both trust that nothing will happen and if something does happen on accident (someone is drunk or not thinking straight) we will work together to build the trust back up

[hypercat54]

It sounds like he is gaslighting you. Google it and see if this fits. x

[Katelan24 in reply to hypercat54]

Deft fits but he has a problem. Like he is a loving guy and he’s slowly getting better but he likes to get in peoples heads and make them feel like shit when he wants revenge. He cheated on me because he had a sex addiction. But the girl he cheated on me with didn’t like him so he wanted to prove her wrong that he was good. It’s just so brainwashing and sickening and I shouldn’t be in this relationship but for some reason I think everything will be okay. He’s been going to counseling and medication because he’s had these problems his whole life. I guess ever since he met me he became more grown up. And realized that these actions aren’t worth the ones you love.

[hypercat54 in reply to Katelan24]

To be honest I don't think gaslighters ever stop as it's an integral part of their personality. I doubt that things will ever be ok but it's your life and if you want to remain in this relationship then it's up to you. x

[Hidden]

Are you positive he's lying? If it were me then I'd put distance at this point. I have trust issues so I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, please forgive me? Why is he lying, do you know? Love & Hugs!

[Katelan24 in reply to Hidden]

He’s lying because he’s afraid of me.

[Hidden in reply to Katelan24]

Then take your stand for you!! You deserve to be cherished, know that please! Love & hugs!!!

[hrow]

Hi! I would sit down with him and ask him about what he is lying about. If he agrees to the lie then you can say that have a hard time trusting him if he lies like this. I would go see a pastor and get some pre marital marriage counseling. It can help you approach issues in a non threatening way and show you if you want to spend the rest of your life married to someone who appears to lie. Focus on the family can recommend some counselors for you in your area. focusonthefamily.org

Thinking of you!

Hope