Thank you Everyone for all your help and advice. it has really helped. this weekend i took a trip to Texas to visit my best friend and clear my head. It helps to be in a loving setting when life is hard. I live alone and like everyone else... My family is crazy (and mean). Normally i can deal, but im broken. i feel broken. My best friend is Married with 2 kids and now lives States away from me. But when im with her and her family I just fit, or at least feel like i fit. they accept me for me and i am so truly grateful for that.
My Job let me go on Monday when i returned home. Im kinda relieved, Im not sure im ready to face the "chatter" or rumors. Signing up to this group has been the best thing ive done. You are all so supportive and Brave telling the world of your struggle. helping people like me. Giving us a voice when we cant find the words to explain how we feel.
Maybe were not all crazy, Maybe God or the Universe is pushing us to our path (or purpose). Helping one another. IDK I'm scared, but now i have Faith in everyone here, this online support group. I'm not alone, and that is Powerful. Loving & Caring about someone you have never met. Maybe Mental "illness" gave us a super power; Understanding & Empathy, to Love others harder when they are hurting, because we know how much "we" need(ed) it.
Right now i understand I'm going through a Manic episode (a fucken long one) and finding my way in the world. reading what some of you are going through is inspiring and helpful. My heart aches for you, and my stomach turns feeling similar anxieties. Your stories give me strength. They remind me I am on my path. and when I'm out in the world I want to share that Love with others. Connecting. Being a connection. Asking better (deeper) questions and actively listening to the answer.
So Thank You for sharing. Thank you for being Brave. Thank you for helping me evolve, and because you (we) deserve it. Don't ever forget that.