First of all, I would like to thank everyone who reached out to me after reading my first posting of the lost of my daughter... God Bless you all!!! Last night was a terrible night...nightmare all night panic attacks while I was asleep, and fear of the unknown. I know that it mostly from events from my past... three years ago, was the case for my daughter's murder. Her mother and I had to relive those memories all over again!!! Last year at the same time, my daughter's murderer filed for an appeal, in which we had to go back to court, and not relive how he killed her, but to see his face again, and hear his evil voice, speaking these words over and over again... " I loved Axxxxx, and our son!!!" Who murders the woman and mother of your child, and you say that you loved her?!?! I am sorry, but it's a question that will haunt me the rest if my life. My therapist informed me, that it is normal to feel or have anxiety these times of the month, but now attempt to do something in honor of her life, instead of going through these painful days and weeks remember how it all happened. That is why I am writing, this post, and help me honor my daughter's life, in place of her death!!! She would have been 34 next month, and wanted to go into the healthcare profession. The love of her life was her son, who is 10 years old, and is all boy!!! He is asking questions about his mother, and his grandmother, and myself are trying to work together to build this relationship with him about his mother that he was too young to remember. He is across state with her mother, but I got to see him, and bring him down for the summer. also being a former Principal in the school system, I am on top of his academics!!! He hates that part of me being his grandfather... I know too many people, who will call me asap...lol😂😂😂!!! Anyway, thank you all for listening.
gfranklin12
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gfranklin12
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hi such a tragedy for you and the family still cant really think of words of comfort its really heartbreaking.let evil be overcome by pure love for your daughter I hope the pain can ease a little with great memories you shared together.god bless and take care.
Good Morning ( er . . well, actually it's Good Afternoon here in UK !)
It's lovely to hear from you.
Last night my thoughts were - what would your daughter want you to do now? If she could tell you herself, what do you think she might say ? - Live life as best you can maybe? Let no more life be taken from our family? Enjoy your beautiful grandson - be his parents as well as his grandparents ?
That's a tall order !
So - you'd better get well then !
I think honouring her life and looking to claiming your life back (and health eventually ) is a good way to be heading. It's so good that she blessed you with a grandson. I have no doubt he will have an excellent education !!
No one can ever take away the Treasure store of memories of your lovely daughter, that you hold in your heart. Love cannot die - it is immortal. Remembering, and being thankful for, those 30 or so years of life your lovely daughter had, and recalling all the fun times , I hope will bring you great comfort as you move forward.
May God Bless and guide you, your Grandson and his Grandmother as you move forward - maybe slowly - but onward.
Bless you for honoring her. My mother and father died when I was just 16 years old and one of the things I wish I knew was how I was like them. When you see your grandson do amazing things that you also saw in your daughter, write them down, and tell him whenever appropriate. It will be a way for him connect to his mom even though she's gone. She's not gone from you memory and that will be what he comes to rely upon.
I too have PTSD, depression, and anxiety. More about me later...
No parent should have to go through the loss of their child, especially one that they have loved so dearly.
I hear you that when you found out about her death that it turned your world upside down and robbed you of your career.
Honoring her and giving your Grandson a lot of love sounds like good medicine to me.
As a kid, I grew up being bullied at school and at home. Life was horrible back then. My only solace was my Grandmother. She believed in me and gave me so much love and care. My pain would go away when I was around her. When I was 18 she was diagnosed with a fast moving cancer that took her quickly. And then she was gone. My only confidant was taken from me. That was 42 years ago. I still miss her today. And after all these years she still shows up in my dreams.
Fortunately though I have her wedding band. I love to hold it and think about her and the love she gave me.
Perhaps if you have one of your daughter’s possessions, hold it, caress it, and feel it’s power. Have a good cry, or experience any emotion that comes to you.
Though your Grandson also has to experience the loss of his mother, he’s very lucky to have you as a loving Grandfather. Spend as much time as you can when he’s available to be with you. Tell him stories of his mother growing up and how she blossomed into such a wonderful mother. Together you and he can honor her and celebrate her life. She lives through your Grandson.
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