Hey guys. As you can see by the title, my friend is dealing with depression. She's been dealing with a lot lately. She came out to me as bi, and her brother came out as trans and gay. Her brother (They are a female, but in order to make this as easy as possible I'll continue to call him her brother) also has depression. My friend has seen him cutting and asked her for a rope once. He has cried outside my friend's door screaming that he wants to kill himself. Her brother goes to a therapist and takes pills. My friend loves her brother, but she's finding it hard to watch him transition into a girl (My friend is NOT transphobic. She's just finding it hard to watch him change after years of memories.) My friend is also really sensitive and takes insults badly. She's been suffering a lot and combined with her low self-esteem and her family changing, she's been acting really sad and hopeless. She beats her self up all the time. I'm so worried about her. I care about her a lot, and I don't want anything to happen to her. I live in a different state than her, so I can't talk face to face. I text her all the time, and I give her an outlet to vent to, but that's all I can do. I feel horrible, and I feel useless, but I can't do much else. Thanks for listening to my rant I guess. Advice on how to help her would be really appreciated.
Friend is dealing with depression. - Anxiety and Depre...
Friend is dealing with depression.
Identifying as anything 'outside the norm' can be tough, not only for those concerned but for those around them, who often need as much if not more support.
From what you have written I'm assuming that the trans person is male to female and now identifies as a lesbian, remaining interested in women ? which is quite common, less become interested in men.
It's such a shame both are self harming, though can understand the reasons, but won't give solutions, perhaps creating more problems
In the UK there are support organisations such as Beaumont, but are not widespread.
Are there similar in the USA ? a Google search may bring results, maybe associated with the Gender Clinic dealing with the transition process, hormones, surgery, etc.
I'm pleased you're there for your friend, has she anyone closer who can help both herself and you, perhaps a mutual friend who you can all confide in ?
Please pm me if you'd like to chat 'off thread'.
Good luck
Hey! Thanks for your response. Yes, you are correct, her brother is mtf and gay. I don't think she's told anyone other than me because she always asks that I don't say anything to people. She always plays off her sadness because she's more worried about her brother. Her mom has been worried about her, but my friend always assures her that she's okay. The only advice I could really give her was this: It's not your job to worry about your brother. You have to put yourself first. I'm so worried about her. Whenever I think about her and her worry about her brother, I get really worried. When someone is drowning, you try to save them, but not if they're gonna drag you down with them. That's how I feel. LIke my friend is trying to save her drowning brother. And he's pulling her down with him.
I can relate to what you're saying, if we get to close or involved we can get dragged down too, so best to stay a good arms length away.
Your friend's 'sister' will find her own way so is possibly best left to do so, though your friend can voice her concerns and ask that everything is considered, it's a very complex process and is something best not rushed into.
In the UK if there are any underlying health, especially mental health issues the clinics like them to be resolved BEFORE they approve the start of transition. Unless they are transition could make them worse.
Stay strong and good luck.
Thanks 
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