Bk again and once again still ...

[davidmcguire8]

Bk again and once again still up , can't sleep , thinking crazy , death etc, am actually lyin in bed waiting on my heart stopping can some pls guide me to help any direction hate my life the now honestly

[Hidden]

What time is it where you are David? I don't sleep well....my husband's head sits the pillow at 11 p.m. and it's lights out for him.

Me,well.....maybe by 3 or 4 a.m.lately. But am not worried, anxious like you are....but I used to be. I haven't read your posts before, but see you are worried, afraid at night, thinking you might die.

Unless there is something about your health I don't know, I'll make a wager with you that you'll see tomorrow.....what do you usually do when you are feeling like this at night? Does chatting on this venue help? What about an old movie on the tube? Is there anyone you know that you can call so you hear a human voice? Give me some hints, so I can help if I can.

[davidmcguire8 in reply to Hidden]

Hi thanks for reply , yes chatting on here is the only thing that helps me deal with this , it's mostly at nights this happens a think because I've time to think or over think , am scared off dyin terrified off it , a always think my heart is ready to stop , a lie here and force myself to stay up as long as because am scared invade a don't wake up , a need help but don't know we're to turn x

[Hidden in reply to davidmcguire8]

David, what do you mean when you write that you need help but don't know where to turn? Has your GP ever talked to you about seeing a therapist to work on your health anxiety? There are other people in this venue that have the similar issues as you. You are not the only one to feel this way. And you can get help for it. Night time is often a difficult time for many of us with anxiety.

When was the last time you had a good thorough physical to rule out anything physically off kilter?

[davidmcguire8 in reply to Hidden]

Not spoke to my gp about it scared to if that make sense , a hate this feeling hate my life way this

[Hidden in reply to davidmcguire8]

Well,now,David....please try to find the humor in this....a bit of Monty Python sketch.

You have severe anxiety and are concerned about your body, and the one person who can help you get started to heal, you're afraid to tell!

Oh, come on. Smile. That's funny in a weird way. Come on. gee, you're a tough audience.

If you are gong to have anxiety you are also going to have to develop a sense of humor to survive.

Why are you afraid to see your GP for a physical and also tell him you have severe night anxiety? If you are embarassed to tell your doctor, I assure you, it won't be even the 100th time your GP has heard that.

Are you in the US? If so, I KNOW it's not even the 100th time your GP has heard this.

Look, sometimes we have to fight fear with determination. Put on your big boy pants and make an appointment tomorrow with your doctor for as soon as possible.

I can't tell you how many times I've had to talk to myself this way in order to get something done that I don't want to do.

[CaptainCrunch]

Hey David... Wanted to check on you. My brain can travel a mile a minute and Yes Death is one of those things that get's a hook in the brain and if I let it, I will get stuck in that rut.

Your Brain doesn't care about you and its job is to ensure the body survives. It Doesn't care about, "David" and how you feel and what it is doing to your life. Journaling helped get those negative thoughts out for me... When my brain through intrusive thoughts at me the next time I was able to recognize... "Ok stupid Brain, I know this is you trying to Trick me." "I am going to jot this thought down so I can remember to worry about it later." In the Meantime I am going to watch Frasier on Netflix or play a video game or go for a walk.

Doing these things weren't easy. I had to make a painful choice. Like I said.. Your brain is not your friend and you are literally fighting it to create new neural pathways. And there are tons of chemicals in the brain that need to get adjusted and leveled out. Meds have been helping me as well as Therapy and Support from this site.

I struggle to believe this at time but I a trust that God is bigger than this massive universe. He created all this for us and paid for all of are failures, negativity, and wrongful actions. And if I am alive he must have a purpose for me. I don't mean to get spiritual but it has helped me even though I really lack the faith to believe at times. Please keep us posted.