Just over three months since my sympatectomy

[Rubyladyemerald]

So far so good. I'm doing more normal things like driving and shopping. City driving here in the US did aggrivate the nerves in my back some and the nerves at my incision site as well in the center of my chest.

The past month or so I have been battling a guilty feeling. I haven't done anything to be guilty. But almost everyone I have gotten mad at or had something go wrong, as silly things in relationships, have made me feel really bad. Thoughts just pop in my head. So if I am able to I send my apologies to that person and if I can I just say that I'm sorry and move on. So far I have did that to everyone I speak to from school or just people I know. Ex my high school sweetheart. I still talk to him and was very surprised when he remembered my birthday after all these years.

My husband has learned a big lesson the past few days. He thinks that I'm down and unable to do lot like I use to is his fault. Being a former Marine he believes he pushed me too hard. Sadly, that's not the case at all. This condition was inevitable for me. No one knew it. We could have never predicted it or the consciequences of everything I am going through. He has become much more sensitive to when I say I can't. Although I want to keep running. I can't. We even though of moving across the country. I'm just medically unfit and I have a very good doctor.

I do have frustration because I can't stand for very long or walk very fast. I can drive for about four hours at a time right now. I have a hard time pulling on wet laundry to put in the dryer. I can't squat at all. I either sit on my butt or a milk crate. I take a moment to stand when I get up from any sitting position and I sit a moment when I get up from a laying position.

I will continue to get better. That I have no doubt. As far as fixing my head with a shrink, there is no chance of that. I can't have anti-depressants because they have bad side effects on me. So, I poke fun at my self and say I now have spaghetti or scrambled eggs for brains. I keep a calendar of my emotions and what is going on to be sure I am in control or if it is an effect of my environment. I also keep a journal. I have don't that since I was a child. It helps keep my emotions in check. After all I am a girl and can just lose my mind from time to time.

Now with all of that said........I have have only a few very small panic attacks and one that definitely scared me. I'm very thankful that they only lasted a few seconds to a minute or two. Valium helps me lots. It definitely calms me and works quickly.

So until next time. Hugs to all that needs them. Stay Strong!

[Vanna-C]

Great to hear that you are continuing to progress! Don’t get frustrated, you are doing so well!

[AnneTS]

Hi Rubyladyemerald. Reading your post shows us all just how far you have progressed in your journey back to health, both in terms of overcoming the physical and the psychological aspects of our heart problems. Congratulations. Hang in there. Hugs back to you too. Anne

[CDreamer]

Ruby - have you had your B12 levels checked? Low B12 can have widespread effects, especially on the nervous system and which can affect mood and emotions.

Well done with your progress, it's hard work but sounds as though you have some useful strategies.

Best wishes

[Rubyladyemerald in reply to CDreamer]

All my blood work comes back normal. So I haven't any deficiencies. I'm still healing. I have been told that nerves can take forever and a day to heal. So I'm just stuck with what I have. The rest of it is hormonal.

[irene75359]

I think you have done amazingly well and have such a positive attitude - keep it up, and may your health continue to improve!