Seven year aggressive fight against stage four cancer from the start which after treatment turned to cll. His pca never changed but very slightly until of all meds and five weeks of hospice..chronic lymphocytic leukemia presumably from treatment is what's taking his life .
"Gene's laughter and positive personality graced every person who knew him, and to his daughters he will forever be hero, confidant, legend. "
Ps other than the prostate cancer foundation, what is the address etc to donate to this site to help more people. I don't trust the ACA, ANY OTHER PLACES THST TRULY USES DONATIONS TOWARDS QUALITY NKT JUST QUANTITY OF LIFE .
Https://Malecare.org/donate we started and run this forum. Pcf has a 3 star/87% charity navigator rating. Malecare has the highest rating 4 star/100%
everyone here is thinking of you and your family
And which prostate cancer research actually uses the money go it good the prostate cancer foundation?
The pcf sits/retains over 50% of the money it raises, aside from the over $1million per year paid to their ceo I believe it is currently holding back over$23million. It’s hard for me to determine if any funding went to anything quality of life (QoL) related. Malecare is a significantly smaller nonprofit but I believe much more effective and impactful. We help raise- approximately- $400,000 per year for research focused on QoL and underserved communities like gay men with prostate cancer. We also hold two medical device patents and a third pending. No other nonprofit in our space has invented anything that I know of. By the way, I don’t think of this as a competition. Pcf is only mentioned because you asked. I believe if you feel our community helps you and your Dad, then I hope you will consider supporting our efforts. Does that address your question?
i understand the desire for distraction but this is a discussion for a later time We are now all with you and your family
Tysm I want it under his obituary in a note from me to raise awareness bc I am pperlies but God I just want young men tested
Tysm
He is lucky to have you by his side at this turn, as you have been by his side throughout his entire illness.
I’m very sorry and sense you’re pain. I recently had my brother pass from metastatic disease, the worst part being osteosarcoma that practically ate away his pelvic bone rendering him immobile for the last several months of his life.
I'm so sorry my face was immobikr fit almost 7 m i eel fir you
I am sure at this time he appreciates your love and caring.
🙏❤💪
my heart is breaking for you and your family. It’s so hard to watch our loved ones slip away from us.
I remembered that my dad loved barbershop quartet music, so I played that quietly for him. It seemed to make him happy and restful, and helped me feel like I was able to be of some small service to him in his last weeks.
Sending warm wishes for your peace on this journey.
So in awe of the love and dedication you show your father. May you all transition into a more peaceful state. Warm wishes---
I am thinking of you and sending my thoughts and prayers of support. I understand how sad and upset you are, I lost my sweetheart six weeks ago. You have to know that you have done all you could do to help your Dad and I'm sure he appreciates everything you have done for him to help him fight. I hope that in your pain you can be grateful for every minute and memory you created together. 💕
Thinking of you and your family this morning. I second the suggestion of comforting music -something you both can enjoy. I used music with my mom. There was nothing else I could do. Take comfort in knowing how much you loved each other.
Beth
🙏 for you and your dad.
Thinking of you, wishing healing and comfort for you both.
Peace and Love
the Love you have for your Daddy inspires me ,but more than that he loves you so much he will and is in your heart forever
So sorry. God Bless youHugh
Hi Daddyishealing . I’ve been watching this thread since you posted it …. Sometimes it’s hard to say something additional that ( you hope ) is comforting and supportive. Just say’in
A lot of terminal cancers are aggressive , ( thankfully) fast moving. Things are over relatively quickly. But , for a lot ( most ? ) of us , aPCa progresses very slowly. We experience death in nearly slow motion … negative event after negative event after negative event .. spiraling ever downward. It can be extremely hard for the warriors that have to struggle thru this …. day to day ….. but what doesn’t seem to get addressed enough is our loving family / caregivers that are right there in the thick of things with us, their emotions being ripped apart over and over and over., every new downward spiral event hits them in the gut like a bag of bricks.
That’s a lot of psychological and emotional trauma for anyone to have to endure … it just goes on and on, seems like. You love your father soooo much …. that emotional stream of hurtful downward spiral …. well that vortex grabs you too. Taking place over such extended periods , the ups ..and downs , they build up to into agonizing crisis points at times.
Usually left unsaid , as well , is that eventually dad will find the blissful eternal rest and comfort he needs so much, …. release ….. but left behind , deeply hurt and swimming in that emotional disaster soup … you , the close loving family…the caregiver/s … you are left to move forward with that steamer trunk full of memories and hurt. The close family left behind to struggle with all the emotional elements and adjusting to a new world , so much different than it has been for decades. It’s challenging - difficult on so many levels.
Well ….. I hope your father finds as much comfort as possible , the love / care part obvious. he has you there comforting him with your love and care , he thankfully, won’t want / need for that.
I hope you will find some solace in your strong love and care for him ( the most you can ever do for him ) , and endure this latest crisis and be able to find some release / relief. Jump on here when you feel like you need some support / companionship from people that understand exactly what you are enduring. Dunno how much we can help sometimes but misery surely does love ( needs anyway ) company … I think you’ll find a lot of company here. Grab some primo pot, or strong psyc drugs and give yourself a mini “ in place va-ca / “ ….. break. Focus on helping “ you “ for a change too … a stronger , more stable “ you “ is a major benefit for dad as well… take care of dad, but take care of yourself too.
Much love
❤️❤️❤️
All so true. I didn't know until he was dying that depression I've been in since you met me was not only due to my illness and not working bc I truly loved my career , but I'd put it in the back of my head pretend I was ok but it was the constant letting go slowly over 6/7years taking his name off medical stuff slowly losing him slowly him being less and less there or not wanting to see me bc he was sick and wanted to hide it and knowing I couldn't help that I was powerless.
Us croaker guys can be fickle sometimes. Sometimes the sicker we get the more we don’t want everyone stuck in it / involved. We don’t want to drag everyone down with us, and some of our loved ones get sick being worried , some … become so involved they even start feeling sickness / pains in the same places we have them. Me, for example, I can’t really be honest with my wife about how much I really hurt sometimes, where and how unstable this sickness can make us because our caregivers can get so involved they start breaking down , experiencing the same things or go around crying about it all the time, spiraling down in depression . I’m comfortable saying “ none “ of us croakers wants to see our families doing those things. We already feel bad enough knowing death is upon us,.. knowing we made loved ones get sick and cry incessantly , when we might have avoided it , …. just makes us suffer more knowing we are causing things like this to happen. Imho you are seeing the usual emotional coping devices that all of us might resort to from time to time.
If anything I think your father’s behavior just shows how very much he really loved you and felt the need to shelter you some.
In any event, all that has passed now, a new era of your life lies ahead literally forever. Dad is in his restful hereafter and you are hurt and sad for the enormous loss ….. I hope your grief subsides as quick as possible and you’ll be able to move ahead with this new era of your life. I remember how traumatic it was when mom died. I was very close to her. I was overcome with grief for days that built into weeks. Its still easy to cry for her if I dwell on it too much.
You will heal eventually, and keep that special place of love we all do for our departed parents…. Still you have your own life to fulfill now, …….. today and time forward you have to take of yourself and your loved ones, it’s the responsibility that all of us have. We have to move forward , in our sadder but wiser ( from experience) new world.
Hang in there, over time things will get much better.
❤️❤️❤️
Nothing like a Dad...............
Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.
j-o-h-n Friday 08/11/2023 2:33 PM DST
So hard, standing with you in your grief.
Daddyishealing, my heart is breaking for you. These last moments are so hard...but *being there*, just being present and beside someone all the way to the end is one of the last things you can do for them. It seems small, but it means the whole world. Sending love and wishing peace for you and your family. HUGS!
In solidarity,
Sunlight
I feel your anquish. I also admire your dedication to your father's welfare. I'm sending you a hug that I hope you can feel.
So sorry to read this. My heart goes out to you. 💗
Personally, I had a poor experience with PCF. I sent them a fairly large donation, unsolicited, through the mail. Eight days later I got a request from them in the mail to donate to their annual fund drive, with no mention that I had just sent them a donation, and they never did acknowledge my donation but continuously send me more donation requests. Now I contribute mostly to Malecare and directly to cancer research institutions like Johns Hopkins, Duke, MD Anderson, Sloan Kettering, Purdue Institute for Cancer Research, etc.
Hmm good idea I put mdke care in my response on his obit but which hospital seems to be doing the most fpr PCa
All the institutions I mentioned work on prostate cancer research and treatments, and there are others like the James Cancer Center at Ohio State, but which one is doing the most is probably difficult to determine. And a breakthrough could happen anywhere. 🦊
im sorry, and wish you all strength and inner peace.
I am very sorry to hear bout your dad. It is a rough ride for family because you want to help but therer isn't always something you can do. I hope your dad's passing become less labored and more peaceful for him , you and your family.
Feel free to message me privately.
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