Has anyone developed severe mood swings with Lupron? My husband is starting his 3rd year and since December his mood swings have increased dramatically. And the mood swings are extreme, loves me more than life, hates me with a passion. It's becoming quite difficult for both us. It's to the point where he even thinks of selling our place and splitting up. We've been married 21 years. And no, he won't go to counseling.
PS This is not a criticism of my husband. This is a search for help for both us.
Written by
JWPMP
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
5 years on it but no major swings, little moody at times , sad movie and happy movies bring tears and emotional at times. I would guess he is upset at the disease more than anything, you have to accept what you have, cancer sucks.
your cancer care team has people right at hand that can probably fix that for you. Many guys on here have mentioned great success. Ask your oncologist, he’ll help get it dealt with. I have it but far less extreme, I have Xanax from my care team that fixes it pretty well for me. Hope you get on the “ smooth “ side of that right away. Best wishes
Take enough drugs, it affects many guys differently , tried one of the drugs in the beginning but caused more issues so decided to make it a joke with hot flashes and dealt with them. I think alot if guys would benefit from support groups for this disease, others are going through the same things. I think he is frustrated with the disease and knows what the end could be. We have to take each day and find some sort of joy , the second round of chemo is rougher than the first , the side effects are not fun but lasts only a certain length of time. The alternative is worst so I have mentally prepare myself for the side effects, taking extra supplements has helped and arranged my diet accordingly. We should appreciate our care givers, friends and spouses for their support instead of taking it out on them, his oncologist and care team needs to know his behavior and can help. In spite of no cancer in my family history my sister died of lung cancer despite a healthy diet and no smoking. My brother was an alcoholic that runs in the family but died of cancer so go figure. There are guys in their early 40's and 50's that may never retire or collect social security or their 401's. I wish both of them the best and hope and pray they get the help they need.
it sounds like you have a positive attitude and you have to do what is right for you. I respect that, we all have to do that. That support group thought sounds like a really good idea too. There just isn’t any good side to having advanced PCa is there. This stuff sometimes seems to pop out of the woodwork all over.
Seems like you have a handle on things and know your possibilities… that’s what really matters. Your guy has you by his side, that’s the best medicine.
And one more thing...I love your idea about the support group. I will continue to gently work on that. Would help him so much not feel like he's the only one.
Let’s face it , most guys don’t want support groups.Many were taught to be stoic and not to share .. that is how the men in my family are . He’s not even joining here .. we have a high percentage of wifes as members just because guys don’t like to open up for the most part . Imho ..men, We think we are always in control , even if we are not? Basically you can’t ( make ) him do anything. He has to want to change. In my case I admitted I was bad and it was my idea to go to the shrink , I would have taken drugs if they helped but my wife was adamant for me not to take the drugs . He is not scared to die . That’s good but it seems to me that he’s cutting happiness out of you both . Hopefully this is only a temperaraly bad patch that won’t persist ? Hang in there baby.. true love can include much pain with this man eating disease …… ❤️❤️❤️🙏
He doesn't get too teary eyed on the movies, but he sits in the dark and listens to adult alternative music channel and all the songs of "angst". He was reading pyshco cybernetics (his favorite book) and power of positive thinking. He's not religious but would read a little of the Bible and pick out positive gems. He's completely stopped that.
I hope he works through his issues soon, cancer does make you depressed but isolating yourself is not good. When you have this socialization of some kind is important, maybe he had some friends that could help him work through it, we tend to push away those closest in major health issues. When my dad had his major stroke he pushed my mom away instead of appreciating what she did for him, it is human nature sometimes. Thank God my oncologist encourages research and socialization of some sort, he told me work gives me purpose. Told him that retirement is a purpose and I have every reason to get up in the morning, we have 4 cats and belong to a club which i am active in. My faith and prayer has helped me get through the down times like 7 days after the infusions when the side effects are not good . I tend to look at the positive, it could be always worse and others are in a much worse position , he is lucky to have someone stand with him.
I've been on that for 2 weeks now - this is the third drug I'm trying to get my hot flashes under control. So far it's helping a lot! My only worry is that it is an antidepressant. Before DX, I've always had a very positive attitude and generally love life, that hasn't changed even with ADT. My worry is that the drug will take away my highs.
I used to like the hot flashes. Made me think it was working. Wasn’t smart enough to figure out what it was really doing. Made it through it most of the way. I think they wanted me to stay on it for 2 years but changed there mind to 18 months. I didn’t bitch.
I started venlafaxine this week i waited a year to start so i could understand my body a bit while going through the abbi lupron and prednisone, when i get a upset stomach i eat a liitle snack takes it away, one thing i notice when i run it keeps my heart rate at 120 if i dint it goes up to 140 to 150 so i run and work out even when i dont want to also my wife runs with me and i chase that sexy girl down the road lol.
Happy to hear he’s changed his mind. Fingers crossed his MO finds something that will help him but remember, there’s always help for caregivers too. Counseling or training to help you cope if he can’t or won’t get help.
There are drugs (e.g., lithium, Depakote, Zyprexa) that are specifically mood stabilizers. You would have to talk to a psychiatrist about those, and I haven't heard they have any effect on hot flashes. I think they all have more side effects.
Depakote (valproic acid) has been investigated in lab studies for prostate cancer, but there haven't been any clinical studies that I'm aware of:
I was afraid of that. Don't think he'll go see anyone but I'll wait on his MO. Thinking the venlafaxine would have helped if he could have gotten past the first few days. Thank you for the info and the links, much appreciated. Maybe a "simple" antidepressant will help.
Many SSRI-type antidepressants give that serotonin syndrome at first. As you observe, it usually goes away in a couple of weeks. In my experience, people usually have to try a few to find the right one for them.
Same thing happened to me but I was also fighting in bars and was consumed with the thought of ending my life. My MO said she would refuse to treat me if I didn't see shrink at Cancer Center. Glad I did, he put me on Cymbalta and I am back to my old self
Hi - have suffered from low-level depression for decades - one of my most prominent symptoms was extreme irritation and irrational anger. Many folks don't know this is a sign of depression. My heart goes out to you. Hope he will get help - not only will it be better for you, it will be better for HIM.
I feel so bad for him. I'm becoming distraught and constantly anxious. He's been begging me to quit working (it was only part time) and I finally did in November. I didnt want to, but thought it would help since hes actually wanted that for years. What a mistake. Thank you for the kind words.
Thank you! So hope he'll let me talk to his MO. If he gets some help and still wants to leave, I'll deal with it. But not when he's having irrational mood swings.
my sincere sympathies for what you and your partner are going through. I could not have identified with you two weeks ago, but I received my seventh 4 month injection a week ago Tuesday and I thought I was losing my mind. fortunately I have been to lesser rodeos with both elligard and lupron and knew not to trust what I was feeling.
All I can tell you is it was the most difficult and challenging week of my life. I now have an inkling of what it feels like to lose your mind. I hope you can ride this out, but the priority is to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You can not do him any good if you aren’t functioning. And, your man is not himself. Hopefully, once he levels out the two of you can get the help you need.
My husband's mood swings were very painful for me to deal with. I always hoped they wouldn't come back, but they did. He went from being the most polite, kind individual to someone who would tell me I was an idiot. He accused me once of wanting his coat to be stolen, when he was getting an x-ray. Ask your oncologist for a referral to get some medication. To even out his mood swings. It will not get better on its own.
I went from brother in law's most loved friend to being evicted into -20C weather over two days.
When he experiences low K levels he goes bipolar. So last November his GP added a diuretic to his blood pressure medication. It dropped his potassium levels which triggers a bipolar episode. In his case these take weeks to evolve and more to dissipate with appropriate drug treatment. Just restoring K levels is not a solution.
My best life on Lupron required acceptance, support, honest communication with my wife and a whole lot of exercise. I would’ve taken drugs in a heartbeat if I needed them, but I made a deal with myself to live those things first. It worked out fine.
Hopefully he is talking to someone. Losing a marriage to Lupron is a terrible thing. Traditional western stoicism is not a plan, nor is eating poorly or too much, and especially being sedentary. Testosterone suppression must be met head on for best results. Drugs can work in conjunction with exercise but by themselves are vastly inferior. How much does he exercise and what kind?
He exercises fiercely. An hour in the morning on the Total Gym and then throughout the day 10 minutes here and there. We have horses and a little property, so the days he spends working outside and riding a couple horses. His diet is 90% good. He also quit drinking completely, although he never had a problem. He has a lot of lifetime "aquaintances" but he doesn't spend time with them or talk to anyone more than superficially. He's always been that way.
My husband is the same way. says the most crazy things threatens to leave or tells me he doesn't want to be married anymore. Then the next day he is planning a vacation for us. I ont know sometimes who feels more crazy me or him. I know its going to be hard and I will stay by his side for always. But some days I do feel like running away and never coming back. This group has helped. Thanks for sharing your story
Oh boy! I’ve done the same . Such truth! I’m sure my wife can relate . Who doesn’t feel like runnning away sometimes? This is real life . This wasn’t in the handout! Hahaha , we will all be lucky ,not to go completely nuts .. Stay young at heart ! ❤️😂
That much exercise is healthy for his body, but sadly it seems he has no friends only ‘acquaintances’. Which as I’m sure you know is terrible for everything else.
I guess you have been the only egg in his basket a very long time. So many older men are this way. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through.
I agree, he needs to do stuff with his friends. Hasn't in 21 years except when he was hauling cattle a little here and there. Want him to do that again, but he says these meds have him where he doesn't feel sharp enough. He told me he has always been a "loner" type.
One more thing, I have people to talk to or I would be berserk. He has no one but me (the only egg as you so well put it), and I can't be totally objective nor can he tell me everything. I can't imagine how lonely that would be and how your thoughts could overwhelm you. So wish I could get him to talk to someone. Thank you again
I hate to reply to this because it is not going to go over well. What I experienced is remarkably similar. It started after about 18 months of ADT. I got into arguments with people and wanted to physically confront them. I could not listen to music by Diana Krall (and others of that type) because it caused extreme emotionality. I too, went back to issues at the start of my marriage decades ago. And what I discovered is this: the problem is not with him, its with you. Your husband suffers from complex post-traumatic stress syndrome which was masked or repressed during your marriage by sex. When sex goes away, it caused him to reflect about what type of relationship he had and he is now experiencing extreme grief what happened and the loss of what could have been. I don't expect you to accept any responsibility.
Thank you for that and I totally understand that I have responsibility in this. It's never one person. It's the sudden extreme change that I'm looking for help to deal with. We still have a sex life thanks to Cialis although it's of course not what it used to be. I have no problems with that, but I know he does. Thanks for pointing out what you did, it's definitely something to think about
Grief is a process and takes time. If he can get through it he will be OK but, he won't be the same. Be more affectionate and intimate and you will see a big improvement.
I think that you are spot on ! I went through the same thing . Wow! I’ve have never seen guys admit this here before . I Thought that I was the only one . You could be a therapist! Diana Krall!How funny! “What could have been”! Self loathing torture indeed .. been there done that .
Most cancer centers have a social worker on staff available to both patient and spouse, together or individually. Often the husband's will listen more to another person than their own wife.
He talked about going to talk to someone. When I started to search for one to make an appointment he said no. I've started to talk to someone, hoping if I stop panicking it will help him.
Perhaps you could just call him an ass and tell him to stop treating you so badly. Yes, we can all blame the hormones but in the end it's just an excuse. We all have to take responsibility for our actions. Organise a weekend away with your girlfriends and let him get on with it. See how he likes his own company, cheers DD 😎.
Really difficult. My wife told me that I was becoming a more angry person but I did not really agree. But eventually I did agree to see a psychotherapist who worked in a hospital specialising in oncology and it helped me a lot. Currently on HT holiday so the test will be when I go back on. It helped me see things more positively and to look to make the best of what I have . Hope things work out for you both
I have been on Lupron for almost 3 years and I am now taking Xtandi as well which started in Dec. 22.. My side effects are minimal, a hot flash every now and then. I do workout classes at the Ymca 5 days a week. That really has reversed the side effects for me. I workout until exhaustion and I'm in the best shape of my life. This really works for me and side effects are almost non existent. All the best to you..
That sounds really hard. It makes me mad when people (usually men) say they won’t do therapy. Really! You are about to lose the one person who really cares for you and you are not willing to try therapy? Therapy saved my life and my family. So lucky that I started therapy early enough that I have been able to enjoy the majority of my life.
I had hot flashes and mood swings on Lupron that ended when I switched to Orgovyx. A once daily oral. My experience is, that Orgovyx does everything Lupron does, only better and with fewer side effects.
Wow! This is bad enough at our age, but 53! So amazing how you all have dealt with this. I hate these days we're wasting in this disturbed mental state. Jim says the cancer doesn't bother him, that it's in remission now an if it's going to kill him, bring it on he's not scared.
We've been through numerous medical events in our marriage. Six Hernia repairs, broken pelvis, shoulder surgery, hip replacement, two bowel obstructions (one was an entire month in the hospital) and a few staph infections. He says he wouldn't be alive now without me. But the dark side of this treatment is definitely winning.
Listen to the folks suggesting his Cancer Care Team should know about the mood swings. A review of ALL medicines, including OTC vitamins and supplements, should be reviewed. There are contraindications that need to be monitored when on these powerful drugs. My husband was prescribed Effector for hot flashes, but taking it with his Doxepin could have caused Serotonin Syndrome, which can result in confusion, suicidal ideation, coma and/or death. I research all drugs he is prescribed and this time even the pharmacy didn't catch the possible problem. He never took the new drug, but he would have had I not done the research. Sorry for the impact on the marriage. Cancer is tough on everyone.
No. I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV but it sounds like there is more going on. Totally your business but IMHO the Lupron doesn't explain it.
If you've been together 21 years it's both of you ... but that's your business. Something else is going on in his head. Maybe the estradiol is the answer.
I am not a mental health expert, but the problem is not you! And you CAN NOT "fix" him. The best thing you can do is take really loving care of yourself. If you haven't yet, find a support group. If there isn't one in your area a quick search on Google shows several on-line groups. Take care of your health by getting exercise, eating well, talking to a counselor, and participating in a spiritual practice.
These are HIS mental issues. "You did not cause them, you cannot cure them, and you cannot control them!" (Borrowed from 12-step groups)
I was on Lexapro. Getting off of it is a long, arduous process. You have to taper down VERY slowly, like over 10-12 months, very gradually. Many experience "brain zaps", a strange, brief, sense of something like dizziness that lasts a fraction of a second. Quite annoying.
Some recommend switching to Prozac for a time, then getting off of that one. Quitting Prozac can be done in a month or so.
Anything working with brain chemistry needs some care!
If he'll consider it, low dose estradiol patches can help a lot in offsetting the problems from lack of testosterone.
0.025 - 0.050 mg/day can be enough. Doctors are usually reluctant, and will almost never offer it. Some are willing though if the patient requests it.
I am on permanent ADT, no testosterone. With estradiol, I feel great. No hot flashes, bone density has recovered to normal, emotionally stable, plenty of energy. It works for me, and I do hope others will try it.
I'm so sorry you all are going through this. It is not easy for anyone. What I found with my husband was to just be honest with how his mood swings are effecting us. I let him know I love him and would literally walk through fire for him, and I really understand and empathize with what he is going through. I explained that women go through vey similar hormone related emotions and mood swings.
It's not his fault, but I do consider it his fault if he refuses to seek out answers and go for the help he needs. I explained I won't stand by while he allows himself to be so destructive to himself and our relationship. I "loving" said all this and insisted he speak to his doctor. Basically letting him know it's up to him to help himself. It takes a big man to ask for help,
He did speak to a doctor and is now taking antidepressants. What a huge difference. Be persistent but kind.
One other thing I forgot to mention. He did previously try a antidepressant and did not like the way it made him feel. So as a result, that made him more distant to try another one. But I did explained that happens occasionally and sometimes you have to try different ones until you get the one that works. I knew this from experience. He can be pretty stubborn but maybe not as much as myself. Lol. Best of luck to you both.
I was in bad shape a few months ago. Went on Citalopram and feel ok now. I can't exercise because I need a new hip and can't get it because that's where my cancer is.
Boy that really sucks . I too am thinking illneeed a new hip in the near future . Not there yet . Just pain . Metzs are a different animal indeed . I hope that you can zap it away somehow . I’m sorry you’re in limbo with that hip . I can relate . Hang tuff , ✌️😔
I think I would consider it depression. Been there done that. Let’s face getting the news you have Prostate Cancer is a bummer in itself, then the medications at the level they give to us puts us in another low. If he was allowed to take a vacation from the meds it really helps with taking a moment to smell the roses and doing QOL really turns the depression around. Did for me. If I have to return to medications at least in the back of my mind it can get better at a later date. It’s easy to hate life and that includes the spouse. Being councilors are out of the question then the doctors should be given an option to consider the vacation for a period of time. Medications help some and others pushes them to suicide. This can turn out to be very serious what you described. Be very cautious
Every thing you just said Lulu700!!! All of it is both the harsh and necessary truth. While I'll never see a head doctor myself, we've worked through that emotional darkness and I'm less impressed with me and in awe of my wife.
Wow! What an ordeal...you have certainly had trial by fire and come out with an amazing attitude. Your experience is inspirational and I have incredible admiration for you and your wife. Thank you !!!
Thank you! My wife deserves that . My attitude was terrible my first few years . I wasn’t on this cite until I went clear . Easy to be semi happy when the pc can not be seen . Lots of prayers .
I had severe mood swings during the 12 months I was on Eligard (and the ~6 mos recovery), though they generally weren't directed against my wife. I largely just sat in my home office and cried my eyes out.
This was the main reason I quit about 12, rather than 24 months that had been prescribed. I just wanted to die. Life had no value, no joy, no hope. ADT, at least for some, chemically removes any capacity to enjoy any aspect of being alive, leaving only aches, hot flashes, lethargy, sexlessness, confusion, a pounding sadness, and a desire for death.
It prolongs overall survival for some, but at a heavy cost.
Thank you for sharing that. Its impossible for me to truly understand what he's going through. This gives me insight. He has for the most part striven (don't know if that's a word) mightily to stay positive, so I was not always aware of his inner struggles. Till now...
ADT causes many changes throughout the body, and in my long experience (first diagnosed in 2008) different changes happen cyclically. Heart, other hormonal balances besides testosterone, digestion... So even if his drug regimen hasn't changed, his body is constantly reeling from the effects of this nasty treatment. I began crying uncontrollably last year--it had probably been 30 years since I cried! My PCP put me on a low dose of Zoloft and I haven't had those emotional swings since. I would not shy away from SSRIs -- the trick is to select one that works for you. Your PCP should help with that. I also strongly support the suggestions of others re: support groups. If there is a cancer center near you, they undoubtedly run one for Prostate. Ask to speak to their social worker.
It's true that intermittent ADT is not inferior to continuous. The problem for some is that their T takes so long to recover that their "vacation" is either very brief or doesn't really exist at all.
People who need ADT whose tolerance for LHRH drugs is so low that they'd just as soon be dead should consider high-dose transdermal estradiol. It's not FDA approved, but people all over the rest of the world get excellent clinal results with very little diminution of QoL.
Estrogen costs practically zero, not as if that's why the pharma industry hates it.
I’m kind of in the same boat. Not on adt but between the ADT and radiation my T level just now hit 250 at the 3 year mark. I feel like I’m still on it.
don’t get me wrong I feel way better than when I was >3 but nothing like before ADT. I can’t get any motivation going. It’s the lack of exercise and desire to exercise. Trying to get up the nerve to supplement it above 300.
I had such mood swings and felt like I was losing my mind. Sadly I tried suicide 3 different times over 14 months. As a result I had to go on dialysis for nearly 18 months. I thank the VA for helping me get stable. I've stopped the Lupron. My cancer has spread into my lymph nodes and my PSA has increased. I went to see my Urologist and as I shared my experience with Lupron and I kid you not he wrote out another Rx for Lupron. Currently I'm letting the cancer take its course. I had my prostrate removed about 9 years ago via the DaVinci method. Followed by 84 radiation sessions and other meds. The Lupron was prescribed about 5 years ago after learning my cancer had returned.
I know for me the nightmare of Lupron was horrible and for whatever reason I didn't do well. I'm very grateful for the VA and the various programs truly saved my life.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Why concurrent Lupron with Zytiga?
Exagerated SE's with second Lupron shot?
Mood Changes When Starting Zytiga
Hot flashes and Lupron
