My sweet and gentle husband (aka Grum... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

17,235 members21,154 posts

My sweet and gentle husband (aka Grumpy) has left this earth

Grumpyswife profile image
71 Replies

It was a privilege to care and guide his treatments through the 20+ years of pCa. He had rallied after 3 Pluvicto treatments and we were able to make more great memories.

John did not die of prostate cancer. It was complications of pneumonia with pleural effusion and he just got too weak to fight any longer. He had little pain over the years and did not appear to have pain as he peacefully slipped away from me. His poor, beautiful body was maimed by so many needles, IV and sensors. He still managed to exit with dignity.

Thank you to so many here that have helped us over the years. Please accept my thanks for all the advice and knowledge I have gained from you. My life seems empty now.

71 Replies
Nusch profile image

My sincere condolences! I‘m not long enough in the forum to know you/him, but your words are touching me. I wish you strength and energy for the upcoming days - sometimes we are all united again.

Big_Mcc profile image

So sorry to hear your news. RIP Grumpy

Rob1053 profile image

I am so sorry for your loss. I too have been battling for 20 years plus. I know how it wears you down with time. Please accept my condolences!

Omc64 profile image

So sorry for your loss

dockam profile image

Oh no 😭

I'm so glad that he passed in Peace and that you were there with him💙

Rest in Peace Grumpy and suffer no more😢

May we all pass in Peace and with loved ones there

Big Hug from CA


Grumpyswife profile image
Grumpyswife in reply to dockam

Thanks Randy, you are an inspiration to many of us here.

dockam profile image
dockam in reply to Grumpyswife

Mahalo for that, just wanna make an impact before I go.

I wanna send Flowers💐to His service

You will be with Him in the future, in everlasting Love and Peace.

With much Aloha 💙

Peace be with you


Darryl profile image


Proflac profile image

So very sorry for your loss. Thankful that it was a peaceful end. You did so very much for him.

TylexGP profile image

You were an amazing wife and advocate for your husband. I am so sorry for your loss. I always appreciated your posts;,they gave me hope. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

GoBucks profile image

My condolences to you and the family. May you be blessed with good memories.

Lyubov profile image

My deepest condolences on your loss of your wonderful husband. He suffers no more. May you stay strong and take comfort in your many loving memories.

GinnyGinGin profile image

So sorry for your loss.

Bethpage profile image

I am glad that the 3 Pluvicto treatments gave you time to make more memories. May your sweet man rest in the peace he has so richly deserved after 20+ years of fighting. May angels watch over you. So very sorry for your loss.

swwags profile image

I'm sorry

Kaliber profile image

Oh Dear …. I’m so sorry to hear of Grumpys passing. Its good to know he wasn’t in pain when he passed, …. It seems so very sad, such a valiant fighter. I know this has to be so devastating for you. you advocated so strongly for your man, very involved here helping him. Though I didn’t know him, it felt like I did through your strong and obvious loving presence. Just when you / we thought he might bounce back one more time …. It’s just heartbreaking . I think all of us stage4 guys hope someone will grieve for us, that we don’t / didn’t go out alone. Grumpy was so lucky to have you at his side. Such a good person . 😢


fourputt profile image
fourputt in reply to Kaliber

I'm very sorry to hear this but what a warrior. He left a legacy that I hope I'm strong enough to emulate when it's my turn. You should be proud of both him and yourself for your enduring relationship in such a hard time. R.I.P. Grumpy

Kaliber profile image
Kaliber in reply to fourputt


Wings-of-Eagles profile image

Prayers for you and your family, also lifting them up for your husbands eternal rest in peace, no more pain, no more PC. You were an amazing advocate for him for that 20 years, he was blessed to have you at his side. I am re-reading all the various treatments in his long journey, and your comments along the way. Thank you for those, they will help me in mine.

Wings aka Dan in So Cal, 10 years with Stage 4 PCa, in remission 8 years, hoping for 20 or more like your husbands, he is an inspiration of courage.

SuppWife profile image

I'm so sorry. My deepest sympathies to you. It's been beautiful to watch how much you love him. Peace to you and to your dear Grumpy.

meowlicious99 profile image

Rest in peace.

inHishand profile image

What a Blessing you were to him! My husband was there as part of the welcome wagon in heaven. My husband is especially proud of was his hope that he would die of something else....unfortunately, that dream didn't come true. When we had a serious auto accident two years into his PCa journey (our car was hit and rolled down the highway), the vehicle finally came to a stop and as soon as he determined we were both fine, his first words were, "Damn, I almost beat that prostate cancer." I pray peace will come to you knowing Grumpy is completely cured and enjoying his just reward. Being left behind is hard, but there is a purpose in it for you. Give yourself time to rest...God will give you the strength to get thru this. That is the true meaning of comfort....with strength.

Yadifan profile image

I'm so sorry to read this! What a wonderful partner you've been to him. He was blessed to have you by his side. I'm sure your loss is unbearable. I'm hoping you have a support team and family to help you through this new road you're now traveling. My prayers are going out to you for strength and comfort. Big hugs Grumpyswife.

Scout4answers profile image

Peace and Love to you Mrs. Grumpy

Tall_Allen profile image

I'm so sorry for your loss. I followed his plight towards the end with great sadness, having seen too many others on a similar path. He was so lucky to have had you by his side. I was always curious about the name - was assume it was meant ironically for such a sweet and gentle man.

Jost-58 profile image

Sorry to hear this bad news.

16starsky profile image

Sending my deepest condolences , my heart truly breaks for you and your family.


Izzygirl1 profile image

I’m so sorry for your loss…. may memories of the love you shared give you strength and comfort.

dico profile image

I am so very sorry for your loss. Such sad news. I followed your stories about “Grumpy” and felt like I knew the two of you; probably because I have a “Grumpy” of my own at home. Like you though, I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Thankfully you were able to make a few more good memories during the Pluvicto treatment. I will be thinking of you and hoping that you find a way to fill the emptiness with wonderful memories.

Cooolone profile image

So much sorrow, sadness, to read this. I'm sorry, and offer my deepest heartfelt condolences to you and your family. My Grumpy RIP! God Bless!

fmenninger profile image

my condolences. May he RIP.

Gearhead profile image

Thank you for taking the time, while you are grieving, to let us know this sad news.

LonnieLue profile image

You are a wonderful wife, friend, nurse, cheerleader, and so many other hats. He knew how hard you fought to keep him by your side. I’m so glad he had limited pain and was able to leave here with dignity. Until you are together again, take peace in all the good memories and the fact that he knew you loved him beyond measure.

David1567 profile image

So very sorry for your loss of your dear Mr Grumpy. He a lucky man having you by his side all these years. And to those newly diagnosed, he is an inspiration that after 20 years there can still be QOL. ❤️

ehoneycutt29 profile image

I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for comfort and strength for you and your family.

RJ-MN profile image

May you be surrounded by the Peace you emmanate.

London441 profile image

I’m sorry, this is hard to hear. Thank you for being with us to this point, it means everything to us, and I know your love meant everything to him.

hopeful1956 profile image

My heart hurts for you. Sending you love, light and many gentle hugs. May he R.I.P. xo

Miomarito profile image

I am sorry and once again have cried to hear this kind of news. I always wondered, when I saw your name if Grumpy was really grumpy or another sweet man that will leave behind a beautiful wife that fought with him every step of the way. I am sorry for your loss, Grumpys wife❤️

Lasered profile image

So sorry for your loss 🙏

Cub49614 profile image


spouse21 profile image

I'm so sorry, Grumpswife. I've followed all the "Grumpy" postings for a long time, which I wish were longer. You've been an incredible partner and inspiration to other caregivers through Grumpy's many challenges. I wish you peace and the comfort of the good memories you created with Grumpy .

CJ4J profile image

My deepest sympathies and condolences in your loss. So thankful to hear he wasn't in pain and he passed peacefully. 🙏

FormulaRob profile image

my condolences to you and the family.

20 + years living with that is incredible and to have you by his side the entire time is beautiful

Leaving the world with dignity was great to read as well.

Cherish those memories, they are yours forever ❤️

MateoBeach profile image

Blessings on your love and grieving. We stand with you in remembrance of Grumpy. RIP

ChuckBandChar profile image

My sincere condolences for your loss. Your posts over the years made me feel like I knew both of you. Please take care of yourself.


Bvilkid profile image

He ran the good race and put up a great fight. Truly a warrior. God and all the saints be with you. 🙏

Neverstop profile image

very sorry for your loss. Hope you can find comfort.

Stephen399b profile image

I'm so sorry, but you have been a wonderful wife through so many trials and have helped so many with you thoughts.

I can't believe that I am the only one to think this - but I have to say: I pray he will be cured and blessed in heaven and that Dopy and Happy are with him - he won't want to see Doc for a while! God bless and thank you to all of our wives and partners.

Dawn80 profile image

My sincere condolences, RIP Grumpy 🙏

FRTHBST profile image

I am so sorry for your loss. Your many posts described in detail the trials of this disease with a smart caring lightness any of us would be fortunate to have in our lives. And we did get to have a bit of it. Thank you for sharing the journey. Rest in Peace Grumpy.

KocoPr profile image

Grump is a warrior that will be well received in heaven. Thank you for sharing his valiant journey with us. Im glad he had no more pain in his final days. RIP Grumpy

rogerandme profile image

So sorry for your loss but your loving husband is at peace now... may you also find peace in knowing he is longer suffering....

Grumpyswife profile image

Thank you all for the kind words. Now I have a distraction from the empty feel as I have Covid. It's my first time and I am sure I picked it up at the hospital. My daughter is staying with me and she's exposed along with all the huggers that visited.😚

Izzygirl1 profile image
Izzygirl1 in reply to Grumpyswife

I hope you have a mild case and recover quickly! ((HUGS))

GinnyGinGin profile image
GinnyGinGin in reply to Izzygirl1

Hope you get well soon

MichaelDD profile image

I followed your posts for guidance. Always looking at your path and looking to see if there is a different angle in this fight we all have? We had some similarities and I always read your posts. My heart, and hugs go to you. Thank you for sharing, and letting us know what a wonderful guy you had . Blessings forever...

Tonwantonga profile image

My condolences. Rest in Peace Grumpy.

wagscure259 profile image

So very sorry for your profound loss. Grumpy’s inspiration and your support and advocacy was evident in all your posts and so beautiful to observe. Praying for God’s comfort and peace that passes all understanding for you and your family, and may your memories warm your heart and fill, in part, the void of your beloved’s presence.

watertender profile image

My heart goes out to you. Cherish your wonderful memories as you go through this difficult time. ❤

garyjp9 profile image

Sincere condolences on your loss. He was very fortunate to have your love and support throughout.

Sam1962 profile image

I am thinking of you tonight. You are not alone. Grief is the price we pay for love - remembering this eases my pain and makes it more tolerable. Perhaps it will do the same for you.

SeosamhM profile image

You and he were the best, GW. It seems that you both carried this burden with strength and determination, and not only survived, but lived. Most of your posts were technical, but I remember the post on your recommendation to read "Driving Miss Norma"... and I cannot thank you enough for bringing this simple thing into my life.

"Life Is A Balance Between Holding On And Letting Go" – Rumi

Beautiful, wise words. But sometimes both hurt.

I wish peace for you, GW. - Joe M.

Grumpyswife profile image
Grumpyswife in reply to SeosamhM

Thank you for reminding me of Driving Miss Norma. I was just thinking of how hard it must have been for Grumpy to travel on that last trip to Minnesota. He did it because he knew how much I wanted to see my elderly father. He was the best travel buddy.

rosenjpj profile image

i am so sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing.

lcfcpolo profile image

So very sorry for your loss. You were an amazing couple. My love and a big virtual hug to all of your family from across the in England.


jfoesq profile image

I am sorry for your loss. At the same time, while he seemed to have gone thru practically every treatment available, it is nice to hear that the disease wasn't cause for pain and that he fought it for 20 yrs before succumbing to other morbidities. Hopefully, your fond memories of Grumpy will help you through this difficult time.

Blue-Mockingbird profile image

I too am my sweetheart’s caregiver/advocate and my heart breaks for you. Please accept my deep condolences for your loss. You are held in virtual arms by everyone here

Faith1111 profile image

I have read so many of your posts over the years. This is one big family brought together by horrible circumstances. When one passes it effects all. Please take care of yourself. You have been a wonderful advocate for Grumpy. May his spirt be free and joyful until you see him again.

Spyder54 profile image

Awww, so sorry to just now learn of Grumpys passing. I hv been offline for 4 days now. Your posts have been prolific, in that you tried everything. So relieved to hear he passed without pain. 20+ years is a long time with older therapies.

Know that you did everything you could. Your research impeccable. We wish you a good life now, knowing that Grumpy will not have to endure any further treatments. He is at Peace. Our best to you and your family, Mike and Barb. ps: a great photo of both of you with your icon photo. You can feel the kindness b

raoulmaher profile image

Ditto everyone elses kind comments kindest Raoul

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