Sweet husband Barry is gone. - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Sweet husband Barry is gone.

Barbara345
Barbara345

Fellow warriors, he’s gone. My sweet loving and loved husband Barry. Over 30 years with him. He passed Saturday afternoon July 25th. It looked like we had more time, he was ready to start a new medicine, went in hospital with nausea, expected to be home in days, and then...suddenly it went bad. We couldn't even bring him home for the last day. Diagnosed August 2019 with extensive bone mets, symptom-free over seven months despite resistance to his meds. He was extra sweet during his illness. Daughter Nadine was with us at the hospital, we were with him when it happened, stayed overnight Friday the 24th with him. She gave him music on the mandolin during Thursday through Saturday, I sang, we all held hands. Son Erek and his dear wife Kate were nearby but couldn't get in. Erek Kate and Nadine left last Sunday Aug 9th.

I don't know what I'll do without him. We were together 30 years, I would have loved the opportunity for 30 more.

I thank everyone for your loving support and community. For all of you I hope for the best of times even as you battle this awful disease.

219 Replies
oldestnewest

Heartfelt sympathies.....So hard to cope with the loss of your husband....pray that in time God will direct your path to continue.

Ohh Barbara , Im so sorry to hear your news. Words are not enough to express this. This dammed awful disease took him far too soon.

God bless you for being by his side when he needed you the most.

Please look after yourself, and may you remember the good times you shared with your lovely Husband Barry.

May God bless you and your family xx.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to 16starsky

Thank you so much! Your caring means a lot. I took a break from MaleCare, just saw this. I hope all is well for you too.

I'm without words..........................

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Fran2020

Thank you. Words aren't needed, your being there means a lot.

So very, very sorry - you are in my thoughts and heart.

Thank you so much!

Darryl
DarrylAdministrator

Condolences

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Darryl

Thank you Darryl, thank you for the wonderful things you have done.

I'm so sorry. Prayers for you.

Thank you so much! It means a lot to hear your support as this goes on --- support to you was well.

Thoughts and prayers are with you, Barbara. Remember the good times.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to garyi

Thank you --- so true!

So sorry to hear about Barry ..Barbara. My heartfelt condolences to you and the family.

Best wishes

My sincerest condolences to you and the family :-(

Another Brother taken by d*mn PCa

Rest in Peace Sir and suffer no more

Hugs - Randy

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to dockam

Thank you so much for your kindness. The best to you too.

Barbara, I am filled with sorrow at your loss. I know how valiantly you sought the next therapy for him. It's as if that miserable disease scoffs at us. How lovely that he was surrounded by his family at the end.

Thank you so much, Tall_Allen for the kind words. It has been indeed a tough path -- I miss him terribly, am grateful for family and friends, and for memories. Thanks so much for the help you gave me and Braary, and for the help and support you're continuing to share with the rest of us. I hope you are managing to thrive and find some joy yourself even as this miserable disease messes with so many of us.

Wishing you lots of hugs and strength. He was a lucky man to share love with you.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to 8knots

Thank you so much for the kindness. I too was a lucky woman to have had over 30 years with him.

So sorry for your loss, God Bless...

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to ocman

Thank you! Hopes for a good day today.

We are all saddened with your news.

Thank you so much. The community matters.

Barbara, You have been very proactive in gathering information always, be proud for all you’ve done. Really sorry to hear about this. May you be given enough strength and achieve peace...

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Cheerr

Thank you so much for the kind words. It has been indeed tough -- friends and community have helped so much. I hope you are doing well.

So sorry for your loss.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to ctarleton

Thank you so much! So very much!

I am so deeply sorry. I hope friends and your son and daughter can help you through this troubling time.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to monte1111

Thank you so much for the kind words. Yes my son and daughter, and daughter-in-law as well was community have been a huge help. Hoping for the best for you as well.

I am so sorry. My deepest sympathies to you.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to SuppWife

Thank you so much! I hope for the best for you....

It is always heartbreaking to hear somebody passing away with advanced prostate cancer. My condolence to Barbara.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to dac500

Thank you so much for understanding. I miss him so much. I appreciate your words, and hope for the best for you as well.

So very sorry . Prayers for you and your family.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to benninger

Thank you so much!

I’m so sorry, Barbara. It must have been hard to write this. Your husband could not have had a better caregiver and advocate during his treatment. I hope you can take some solace in knowing that you did everything you could to help Barry.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Dett

Thank you so much for the kind words! It was hard to write, yet important to share, It was an honor to have had over 30 years with Barry, and to care for him --- I had hoped we would have had much longer. I hope for the best for you as well on your journey,

“ He was xtra sweet during his illness” This says so much about the man .. Thank you for sharing what I think is a beautiful send off. Your love will carry him from here. No more suffering .. peace to you Barbara . 🙏

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Whimpy-p

Thanks so much for your kind and personal words -- it means a lot! Yes, he was an amazing man, and I continue to appreciate the many gifts from he gave to me and to others as well. Although it's been extremely hard, community has mattered. Much love and hopes for the best for you as well.

Whimpy-p
Whimpy-p in reply to Barbara345

Take care Barbara. My heart breaks for you . 💔

Prayers, and peace be with you. Psalm 23.

So sorry to hear of your loss.

I am sorry for your loss. God bless. Take care of yourself.

As a man who Also has this awful disease, I want you to know how it feels to have a wonderful wife like you by my side every day. It means everything. We never feel alone or unloved. It makes the pain bearable. Thank you Barbara and all the wives and children and friends that stand by us. But we ask one more thing of you. Cry and mourn but for a short while. You were there when we needed you most. Now That we are gone, please take care of yourself and find joy in your remaining life. And never ever feel guilty that you are here and we are gone because you were everything you could be while we were here.

Schwah

BobJensen
BobJensen in reply to Schwah

Beautiful. Thanks.

monte1111
monte1111 in reply to Schwah

Well said.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Schwah

Thank you so very very much for your wonderful note! !!! I took a long break from MaleCare, just saw this, that can bring tears to my eyes. Yes I will listen to you -- I was a lucky woman to have been with him over 30 years. It was my honor to care for him, and of course I miss him so much. I received so many gifts of love from him over the years that I can still treasure. I'm glad you have the support of your wife, and hope for the best for you. Thank you again for the gift of your caring.

Whimpy-p
Whimpy-p in reply to Barbara345

💔💔💔

Heart feels so sad for you all

He was certainly loved

He knew that and I’m sure he felt that right till the end

Look after each other 🙏🏽

I am so sorry for your loss

Thank you so much for your kindnesss.

My deepest condolences to you Barbara and Family. Stay strong and take good care.

Haniff

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Haniff

Thank you so much! Will do my best. The best to you as well.

Dear Barbara,

I am always saddened to hear about a loss of another one of our comrades. Barry's passing is another example of how fragile life is and reminds us to cherish our loved ones and friendships while we can. I'm sure that his loving family helped accepting life's inevitable conclusion more manageable.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to ronronHU

Thank you so much for your kindness. Yes, we need to care for those who are around us, not to put that off. I hope for the best for you as well.

I’m so sorry for your loss Barbara, my condolences to you and your family .

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Rmurchu

Thank you so much for your kindness.

So sorry for your loss..

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to lincolnj8

Thank you.

What a beautiful man. My love goes out to you.

Thank you. Yes he was a beautiful man, and I have many gifts to treasure. Thank you for your kindness.

So sorry for your loss. May Barry rest in peace. Take care.

What a lovely man so sorry to hear he has gone. Sending love to you and all your family x

Thank you so much --- it means a lot to hear at this time,.

Truly sorry to hear this news about your husband, Barbara - I know words are utterly helpless now, but you have an incredible family, and all of you came together to support your husband, and that's truly an incredible thing!

Arthur

Thank you so much for your kindness. Barry was an amazing man, and it was an honor to support him.

Condolences. God Bless!

Thank you so much!

Its a horrible emptiness thats left when they go i lost my steve in January last year miss him every single day but sadly life must go on and it does you have family you need to be strong for them as they for you and yes it hurts every single day even now but i sit and have my quiet moments with him as you will keep strong if u ever want to talk im here xx

Whimpy-p
Whimpy-p in reply to Wongle1

🙏

Our entire warrior community shares your loss and together we all stand beside you in support.

Thank you so much for standing with me. The love from you and from this warrior community means a lot to me as I go through this, and meant a lot while we were fighting as well. . The best to you too!!!

Memory eternal

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Osidge

Thank you.

I am so sorry

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Tmetz

Thank you so much!

So sad for your loss.

Thank you so much!

What a beautiful tribute to a fellow warrior and what a warrior women you have been. Your words were so heart felt to me, my condolences to you and your family in this sad time.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Doseydoe

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes he was a wonderful man, and I have so many gifts from him to treasure --- it was an honor to care for him. I hope for the best for you as well in your journey.

I hope you find peace and comfort Barbara in awareness of the strength of character on exhibit by your husband Barry and his loving family. Memories are everlasting.

Thank you so much. He was an amazing man and I have so many gifts from him to treasure. I hope for the best for you as well.

So sorry to hear that. My condolences Barbara.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Alicat1

Thank you so much.

What a beautiful photo; indicative of love shared. My condolences.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to immunity1

Thank you so much. Yes there was much love, so much love, and I have received many gifts that can be treasured. I hope for the best for you.

So sorry to hear of Barry,s passing

May the comforter bring you peace

Thank you so much. He was a wonderful man. I hope for the best for you as well.

I’m so sorry. Wishing you and his loved ones peace.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to HalC

Thank you so much for your kindness.

Dear Barbara, my heart felt sympathy for you and your family. God bless you.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Jrb12

Thank you so much!

Dear Barbara:

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Cateydid

Thank you so much. I hope for the best for you in this time.

So very sorry for your loss. This disease is horrible taking the men too soon

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Judymin

Thank you for your kindness. Yes, it is horrendous, and I know I'm not the only one who goes through this. I hope for the best for you as well in the midst of it.

Barbara, I am so sorry. My condolences to you and your family!

Thank you so much!

My wife and I offer our sincere condolences in the loss of your sweet Barry. Praying for you and your family for comfort and peace.

Thank you so much. I hope for the best for the two of you in the midst of fighting this disease.

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. It is an awful loss, I hope that memories of happier times together will sustain you through this difficult period.

Thank you so much for understanding. Your caring means a lot,

So sorry to hear another warrior has lost the war against the monster. My thoughts and prayers to your family 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Thanks so much for your kindness.

My sincere condolence and prayer that you and family will be comforted by our Lord.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Cmdrdata

Thank you.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Pianodude

Thank you so much.

My deepest condolences.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Istomin

Thank you so much.

Saddened by your news. Condolences

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to dress2544

Thank you so much!

Barbara-

There are no words.

You just take it a day at a time and find joy in your time together.

I know how hard this is..... Tom succumbed to this disease in January this year.

We had a money donated to PC research in lieu of flowers and believe we raised a nice sum.

Somehow a day at a time you walk through life blessed with your time together on this earth.

May Gods peace be with you and your family.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to DSEE

Thank you so much for your understanding as another suffering through this terrible loss. I'm happy that we had the time we had. I hope for the best for you.

I hope that your pain lasts only as long as you need it. Not a second longer.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to dadzone43

Thank you.

So sorry best wishes

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Eringobra

Thank you so much!

So very sorry Barbara

Thank you so much!

Very sorry for your loss. Many prayers for peace and solace during this even more difficult time.

Thank you so much!

Dear Barbara, I am so sorry. May he rest in peace.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to msnik

Thank you so much!

I am sorry, may you find peace and comfort.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to MrEd44

Thank you so much!

I'm so very sorry. Prayers that your wonderful memories bring you comfort.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to TNCanuck

Thank you so much!

My deepest condolences to you and your wonderful family🙏🏻 RIP Barry🙏🏻 God bless you all🙏🏻

Be safe😷

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Bunkerboy

Thank you so much for your kindness.

So sorry for your loss. Deepest condolences

Thank you so much!

I’m so sorry..my heart hurts for you. Prayers for strength!

Thanks so much!

My sincere condolences. You were each very lucky to have had each other for so many years . Stay strong and comforted with the wonderful memories.

Thank you so much for your kindness. Yes, it was wonderful to have been with him for so long, there are many memories and gifts that I received that can be treasured.

Barbara,

I am so sorry for your loss. May God provide you with comfort during this difficult time, and periodic reminders that Barry is watching down on you.

My prayers are with you during this horrible time.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Billy_Boe

Thank you.

Hi Barbara, so very sorry to hear of your husbands passing My name is Lynn, have not been on here for a while.. I share your pain...my husband passed this past October 21st ... fought this disease for almost ten years. Like your husband never complained, always so positive.this past Aug.9th would have been Sam’s 76th Birthday.. I cried all day,...we were married Fifty seven years, a life time..... missing him everyday.. it’s such a heartache, one day at a time!

Sending prayers, love and strength during these hard days. 💗🙏💗

Lynn

Thank you Lynn for your kindness. I appreciate your sharing, as another woman whose husband passed too soon. Sam sounds like a wonderful man as well --- perhaps he and Barry would have enjoyed meeting. I hope you can stay strong as well, thank you again, and the best to you too.

A simple thanks for being there for him, Barbara. May the love created by your life with him sustain you.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to SeosamhM

Thanks so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me! I hope for the best for you as well.

Barbara - I'm so sorry for your loss. Cherish the memories of the happy times with Barry and these will help you get through the dark days and move forward.

My thoughts are with you Barbara345 ❤️

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Cleodman

Thank you so much for your kindness.

Barbara345,

It saddens me to hear of your husband's passing. What a lucky man he was to have you and Nadine by his side. What a gift your presence was!

It takes time. The pain will, oh yes, a pain that can be as intense as physical pain, will lessen with time. You may need time alone. You may need others at times. Sometimes family, sometimes a friend. Don't hesitate to talk with clergy or --others that can help if needed.

We never "get over it". We learn to "live with it". I understand.

A prayer has been said for you and your family.

Currumpaw

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Currumpaw

Thank you for your kind words. It was an honor to have been with him for 30 years, and to care for him through this. Yes, it does feel like physical pain, sometimes it is physical pain. I appreciate your understanding, the difference between "getting over it" and "living with it." I'm appreciating community at this time as well.

There's so much that we don't know about death and whether the spirit lives on. My dad used to say who would of thought that we could get a weather report from across the world by looking at a hunk of metal and plastic sitting on our desk. Maybe God can track every sparrow. There's so much we have left to learn. Music seems to be such a strong way to connect across time. So glad you could share that love at the end.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to NWLiving

Thank you so much for your kindness. It means a lot.

Music, singing and holding hands ... what a wonderful farewell! There are no words that I can say to help you through this. Hopefully, knowing that we are all going through this together will bring you some solace. May your wonderful memories warm your heart forever.

Thank you for your kindness --- yes, knowing that you and the others are here as a community is a gift and a help. Yes, there are wonderful memories. I hope for the best for you as well.

So sorry for your loss. 🙏

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Mikeski

Thank you so much!

Heartbreaking..... I cannot imagine the sorrow you must feel. Prayers to you and your wonderfully supportive family 💞

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Faith1111

Thank you so much!! I appreciate your kindness and caring. I hope for the best for you as well.

I'm so sad you lost your beautiful husband to this awful disease. In such a short amount of time, you intensely fought for the best possible treatment. Please know peace in the days ahead and that he will come back to you whole and well in your memories.

So very sorry to hear of Barry's passing. You were an amazing, supportive wife and did all you could for him. And now, even in losing him, you wrote beautifully of him. You have no regrets.... I wish you continued strength, energy and health and that you may continue to heal with the love of your caring family and friends, and all of us here.

Thank you so much for your kind words. He was such a wonderful man, it was an honor to care for him. Thank you so much for your caring --- family and community have meant so much to me, and you are so appreciated for being here. I hope for the best for you too.

My sincere condolences to you and your family. May god be with you all.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Pierreb

Thank you.

Hello Barry.... How is it up there? Wings? Angels? Harp? You are enjoying your pain free being with no more cares or anxiety..I know you miss your dear loving wife Barabara as much as she misses you. And your wonderful children that you brought into the world are your lovely legacy that you left with us. Barbara is an inspiration to all the caregivers here and I know that she sends her deep love to you forever. As a note from me, it's sad that no one ever mentioned your kind face.... Rest....Brother......

j-o-h-n Wednesday 08/12/2020 5:01 PM DST

Condolences and prayers.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to KSK54

Thank you.

Your loss saddens me. I am so very sorry.

Thank you so much. I miss him so much. I hope for the best to you as well as you face this.

My sincerest condolences. God Bless you and your family.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to dasyluo

Thank you so much!

So sorry for your loss

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Sage100

Thank you so much!

So sorry for this tragic loss!!!

Thank you so much!

So

Sorry for your loss.

Thank you so much!

Offering up 🙏🙏🙏 for you, dear lady!

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Miket218

Thank you so much!

So sorry for you loss , Rest In Peace 🙏

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to kikepana

Thank you so much!

With deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear husband.

So sorry to hear of your loss. Peace and prayers to you and family.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Stevana

Thank you so much!

So very sorry for your deep loss. Thankfully you were able to be with him and not restricted from visiting.

Thank you so much! Yes, it was a gift to be able to be with him!

I feel deeply sad about the loss of such an adorable husband. My condolences to your family who did their best to keep him happy when he departed from this world. He will rest in eternal peace leaving eternal memories for his loved ones.

Sisira

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Sisira

Thank you so much for your kind words! He was indeed adorable in addition to his other wonderful qualities -- I'm glad you mentioned that. I miss him and treasure many happy memories.

Barbara, I’m saddened by the news of your husband Barry’s passing. The photo seems to show a man who exudes charm, wisdom, and affability. The world is in short supply of men like that and now their number is even less. I pray that you are comforted in your grief by those close to you. God bless!

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Scoofer33

Thank you for your kind and caring words. He was indeed a wonderful and affable man, and he gave many gifts that can be treasured by me and also by others who have been around him. It is true that the world needs men with many of his qualities -- thank you for saying what you said. I hope for the best for you as well as you face what you must.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Maddyj22

Thank you so much!

My heart hurts for your loss. I will pray that God will give you His strength, comfort, and hope.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to oilcan4

Thank you so much!

My thoughts are with you.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to holgar

Thank you so much!

I'm so sorry for your loss

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Rilu

Thank you so much!

So sorry for your terrible loss. Sending thoughts & prayers.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Lyubov

Thank you for your kindness.

Our sincerest condolences and prayers of peace and comfort to you and your family. May Barry’s soul rest in peace.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to dvcarola2

Thank you.

Thoughts and prayers. May God comfort you.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to caretkr

Thank you.

May the emptiness you feel at this time be filled with good memories of those 30 years and carry you with his love.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Shepard

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, there is emptiness, and yes I have so many wonderful memories. I hope for the best for you too in the midst of all of this,.

I am so sorry for your loss

This damn C I hate it so

Thank you.

I am so very sorry for your loss but glad that he is at peace and that there will be no more suffering. Love and virtual hugs

Thank you so much!

I’m sorry for your loss but grateful that he had someone like yourself to love him when he needed it most. It’s difficult losing a spouse, and a job (as your world has revolved around his illness for so long). Remember the positives - and that you may see him again one day. Time to focus on yourself - it’s not selfish, and honor him by living well for the time that you have on this earth. With much respect, Dr Joel Silverman

Thank you for your very kind and insightful words. He was a wonderful man, and it was an honor to care for him when he needed me. There was so much love, and I have so many memories and gifts he gave me that can be treasured; he also gave many gifts to others, having been so kind. And yes, I appreciate the affirmation to take care of myself as well, in the process of honoring him. I hope to benefit others as well.

HUGS, Barbara! I'm so very sorry for what you are going through. I'm a little slow in responding, but I hope it will come at a time when you need to hear it. Sometimes, it is even harder after the initial rush of help and love is past. Sending healing thoughts your way. Peace to you and your family <3

In solidarity,

Sunlight

Thank you, Sunlight. You're right about this being a good time to hear this -- your response doesn't feel slow to me --- your words of caring are appreciated now. This, needless say, is long term, rather than "quick fix." I took a break from MaleCare and therefore am late in replying to you as well, having just seen this. Thanks so much. Hugs back to you, and I hope for the best for you as you go through this.

In solidarity too,

Barbara

I'm glad it came at a meaningful time! <3

I took a break from MaleCare too when we first lost my Dad - it's so hard in that initial stage. I check back periodically now - it feels good to think there are still some ways to help others with their journey. It is is like one last thing we can do for those we have lost.

Thinking of you and sending you prayers and good thoughts!

-Sunlight

Thank you again. I agree that bringing caring forward makes a difference. Even now, I'm looking at things I can do to ease others' journey, whether for PC or for other situations of need. My daughter Nadine is a leukemia survivor; she was diagnosed with it at 17 and finished treatment at 19, after which she started college. The daughter of the mom who founded our teen cancer support group asked her mother to take what she'd learned and do something to make it better. After her daughter died, the mom started an amazing network that has a made a difference to many teens with cancer, and their parents too, including my daughter and me. I still am part of that network. I know we can do things, no matter how small they may look, to help others along the journey, and in the process it can help us too. Much love to you.

Barbara

When we hear of a fellow warrior passing a piece of our heart goes with him. This will be with him forever. Our tears are for those who loved and cared for him. They do include some joy; that Barry had you and others to hold his hand during this journey. You gave him the best gift at a time of great need. Blessings and peace to you as you walk your own path on this Earth.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to Shepard

Thank you so much for your kind words and for your caring. It means a lot. . Yes, I too feel sadness for others who walk this path. There are so many loving gifts I received from Barry that I treasure, and he also gave so many gifts to others through his kindnesses. Thank you for your support for me as I go onward.

So sorry to hear this sad news of your husband Barry's sudden demise. My heartfelt condolences.

Barbara345
Barbara345 in reply to dress2544

Thank you. I so much appreciate your getting in touch --- I hope for the best for you.

Beautiful photo of Barry, Beautiful words, care and love from you, My sympathies.

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