And On The 8th Day, God Created Seniors

[E2-Guy]

God's Plan for Aging

Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys, and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the toilet, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

So, if you find as you age you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts to remember as we grow older.

#9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8. Life is sexually transmitted.

#7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6. Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2. In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1. Life is like a jar of jalapeño peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

Please share this wisdom with others; I need to go to the bathroom.

[Muffin2019]

Love the post, rings alot of truth, at 70 I noticed those changes but it made me smile and laugh, great post and printed it to read, smile and laugh again.

[E2-Guy in reply to Muffin2019]

Thank you Muffin! Warm wishes from Thailand for a healthy and happy 2022, plus at least 19 more years which will put you in the 'double decade and then some club'! I'm approaching my 18th year in this battle and still feeling better than many of my younger 'mates' who don't have serious diseases.

[Muffin2019 in reply to E2-Guy]

That is fantastic, congrats.

[E2-Guy in reply to Muffin2019]

Thanks Bro!

[Kaliber]

Funny … good one yayahahahaya

😁😁😁❤️❤️❤️

[westof]

Hmm... REALLY well written and words to live by!🤔

I have saved your post for reference and inspiration...

Will help me to clean up MY act in future posts!

Happy New Year!

Best,

(BTW, I turned 73 last week! A miracle, given the life I've lead!😃)

AJ

[E2-Guy in reply to westof]

Happy 2022 and a belated B'day to you AJ! Looking forward to chatting with you for another 20 years!

[westof in reply to E2-Guy]

Hmm... Lets do the math...(according to our respective ages)

20 years? Why not?

Betty White (Great Lady) almost made it to 100!

And according to an unverified bio, she lead a wonderful but wildly crazy life!💃

Best

[CAMPSOUPS in reply to westof]

Asked about her longevity she said no greens. Does that mean I can eat bologna sandwiches ?

[monte1111 in reply to CAMPSOUPS]

Sure. Just make sure the bologna isn't green.

[CAMPSOUPS in reply to monte1111]

Ha. lol. Will do. Worked with a guy in the 80's who was educating me on aged steak.He told me the steak with green on it in the store was best. I never tried though. But I think he was right.

I stick with grass fed these days on rare occasion that we feel we can afford a steak. No green on it though ha.

[Metaldraft]

I will try to remember what you just said..Thanks ron

[Tall_Allen]

LOL. I never thought of God as a fitness trainer before. Clearly, God wants me to get my ass to the gym today.

[E2-Guy in reply to Tall_Allen]

Why bother with the "gym", when you can just look for sh*t that you've misplaced, pickup stuff that you dropped, and go to the bathroom more often!

[tango65]

Great.!! I liked all of them. The one of dying of nothing and the other about the weather were hilarious to me.

[E2-Guy]

Sorry Nal; I had referred to the wrong John in my reply. You did an exceptional job in your post. RIP 'Great John'!

[j-o-h-n]

Funny!!! One correction however: So, at a young age you were getting up and down more, remember it's was Her will.....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Monday 01/03/2022 6:47 PM EST

[E2-Guy in reply to j-o-h-n]

Bro, Thanks for replying to my posts from heaven!

[j-o-h-n in reply to E2-Guy]

No problem..... it's as easy as falling off a cloud.....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Tuesday 01/04/2022 5:59 PM EST

[Bunkerboy]

Thank you roonron👍🏻🤓😂. Sure needed that laugh. God Bless you.

[Hidden]

Awesome