Morning thoughts: Everything is a... - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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Morning thoughts

Todd1963
Todd1963

Everything is a blessing,

The morning light on the face of my wife and her sleepy smile when I bring her coffee. The dogs who simply cannot wait another five seconds to go outside in the morning.

A warm fire on a rainy day where I sit watching the hummingbirds feed. The stillness of of February morning.

A cup of hot Sumatra coffee.

Cancer is a gift for without it I may have never come to appreciate the blessings in my life

61 Replies

Great thoughts when you have stable disease. Very difficult to pull off when you're body is screaming at you that something is very wrong. Just saying "it's okay to have bad days too" for those of us that have days where we can't even enjoy a cup of coffee because we already have chemo from heartburn. And apparently brain farts because that should have been heartburn from chemo. Can't blame that one on spellcheck :-) Anyway, in the times between bad days 100% agree.

Todd1963
Todd1963 in reply to tom67inMA

I agree. I have been there.There is hope.

tom67inMA
tom67inMA in reply to Todd1963

I've seen both extremes, currently in the hopeful phase now that chemo is working. I'm onto colon cancer drugs having been through the usual suspects for prostate cancer. Last week I had my first cup of drip coffee and my first adult beverage in months. Chemo day has become my chance to socialize with people face to face, I enjoy it very much. It catches the new patients by surprise when the see somebody having a good day hooked to an IV pole.

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to tom67inMA

ayahahahayaY Ooooops ... I meant Yayahahahaya dang nab brain fog . 😂😂😂😂 Oooops I meant 😂😂😂😂 hummmmmm ... looks the same both ways ...never mind.

❤️❤️❤️

Karmaji
Karmaji in reply to tom67inMA

In our family here we have all situations....feeling for members in extreme pain and may be little hope... we are together to share the journey;; all one can say que sera sera

and wish shedding robe without pain...

I hear you brother .. right on. 🌼🌸🌈🌻🦋

Crept I kinda feel for those poor dogs hoping from one leg to another barking out “ hurry up , hurry up “ 🐩 😂😂😂😂❤️❤️❤️

It’s full bore spring here where I live ...now. Streets full of trees bursting with magnificent white flowers .... tulip trees in full bloom. Vast endless acres of stone fruit trees in bloom. Yards full of new spring flowers, winter flowers ebbing now. Mid 60s seasonal norm, gonna be mid 70s next couple of days. We have many humming birds too ( among the dense flock of morning feeders we put out peanuts and grain for ... daily ) ... they buzz the flowers on our banana palms every morning ( and fight trying to kill each other fighting for territory , violent little suckers )

The details somewhat different but the sentiment is the same .... ( fires are illegal here due to pollution controls in place .... you need a registered certified insert and can only burn the few hours every couple months when they say it’s OK . The air here is extremely polluted with AG particulates most of the time )

It’s all good never the less ... a beautiful morning is a beautiful morning.

I have heard others use the phrase "cancer is a gift" and I have to agree. Tom67inMA makes a good point about pain and I am fortunate not to have experienced any yet. When I was diagnosised 2.5 years ago, I realized that I wasn't likely to reach age 65 and have a retirement like most other people so I quit work and gave myself some early retirement. The last two years have been among the best in my life. I do what I want, when I want. I've had fun checking things off my bucket list. I really learned what are the most important things in life (spending time with family and friends) and what isn't that important (career advancement, making more money). I really think this positive attitude towards my cancer has also helped my treatment as the cancer has remained suppressed and I continue to feel great, other than the medication side effects. For me, cancer has been a gift.

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. I would rather be the a$$ I was, than the Yoda I am now. I understand that we all now cherish each day. I do do acts of random kindness to those I know and love. We are different. Death is not some obscure joke anymore. It is suddenly in your face, and there is no going back. In three weeks, I'll have been doing this for four years. Much longer than my first prognosis. Almost all the knowledge I have of this crappy cancer, I learned here. Much more than my doctor ever explained to me. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him." We all know that that is BS. J-o-h-n taught me to laugh again. Unfortunately, it is apparent, that he never got beyond Third Grade. This site has brought me knowledge, laughter and tears. I come here every day, like a moth to the flame.

XPO1
XPO1 in reply to monte1111

In Greece, school only goes to the 3rd grade. By then the teachers can no longer tolerate the students

monte1111
monte1111 in reply to XPO1

I am pretty sure that by Third Grade, all of the teachers have been arrested for molestation.

j-o-h-n
j-o-h-n in reply to monte1111

Yep they finally get it in the end.....

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/18/2021 2:25 PM EST

tom67inMA
tom67inMA in reply to monte1111

When I returned to work for 6 months in 2019, I enjoyed it more than I had in years and shook my head at people taking deadlines way too seriously. It's like "dude, the sun will rise tomorrow if you miss the deadline". The same is not neccesarily true if I miss a few treatments.

Some of the best days of my life have happened since diagnosis. People express more love towards me than ever before, both men and women. Before the pandemic I started regularly hugging men. All that said, it's a very high price to pay for an awakening. I wasn't that asleep before. If I could, I'd take my cancers back to the store and ask for a refund. (My oncologist has chastised me for ignoring the "one per customer" rule at the cancer store. I replied that when I saw them in the display window I couldn't resist :-) )

5to0
5to0 in reply to tom67inMA

Thank you for sharing your silver lining

Ron53
Ron53 in reply to tom67inMA

I can relate to the going back to work thing. I retired when I learned of my diagnosis (was 65 anyway). 6 months later they ask me to come back for 3 months to help out on a project. It was good to go back and see everyone, but it was kind of surreal. I didn't feel at home in the place I had worked for 40 years. More than once I would say to myself, they don't know yet...that they are dying (and that's probably a good thing).

j-o-h-n
j-o-h-n in reply to Ron53

Way to go Ron........

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/18/2021 5:05 PM EST

CRK2
CRK2 in reply to tom67inMA

I’m also an unfortunate (but happy) multi-cancer guy...in fact, I was diagnosed with renal cancer at the same time as the prostate cancer (right off the same CT scan). Those are but 2 of 5 cancers I’ve endured...but the mcrpc is by far the most difficult to shake...it’s a nasty bastard to keep in check!

tom67inMA
tom67inMA in reply to CRK2

I'm normally a bit competitive, but I'm not going to try topping your 5 cancers. Wow. Maybe they had a turf war and the prostate cancer won? You have every right to brag about still being alive.

Lettuce231
Lettuce231 in reply to monte1111

Hi Monte,

I second that, do you remember line in the film Gladiator, " when death smiles at a man, all he can do is smile back " but I've got a finger up at the same time !

Keep hanging in there, this is great site, like you say 👏🏻👍🏻.

Phil

j-o-h-n
j-o-h-n in reply to Lettuce231

"When death smiles at a man, all you can do is give him a wink, point to your ex-wife and smile back"

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/18/2021 2:58 PM EST

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to monte1111

Omg ....... rotflol ...😂😂😂😂😂. Funny ......

ARIES29
ARIES29 in reply to monte1111

Love your reply monte1111. Cancer or the big C is crap. I have been doing this crap since 2012 & wish for a life back like it was, but that aint going to happen.Looking death in the face certainly changes everything i found.

Good health to all.

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to monte1111

Hay buddy !!!! .....Underneath that latex Yoda Halloween mask , you’re still da same ole loveable a$$ you ever were. You still got it. Don’t mean nudd’in.

Students of J-o-h-n club 👻🤡❤️❤️❤️

monte1111
monte1111 in reply to Kaliber

I am fairly sure the students of j-o-h-n have formed a class action suit, and he is being sued. There's thirteen of us in this VW, and we're driving to New York to serve a subpoena.

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to monte1111

J-o-h-n lives in a nice condo across the street from a park. He’ll be hiding in his basement behind the pile of sticky blow up dolls.

monte1111
monte1111 in reply to Kaliber

I can hear j-o-h-n: Opa, opa, opa.

j-o-h-n
j-o-h-n in reply to monte1111

Third Grade? That's a bachelor's degree in Greece.....BS MS PHD

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/18/2021 2:22 PM EST

Once we are told that we have cancer...suddenly life starts to appear FINITE...and that motivates us to value and cherish each moment. The rat race to have a bigger house, nicer car, exotic vacations and luxury clothing...starts looking so mundane and shallow. A deeper sense of being here and noticing the amazing people, relationships, world, nature and everything becomes more clear and more lively. In that sense, this kind of diagnosis seems like a blessing. Life was finite then...and is finite now.. but there is more awareness of it now.

ARIES29
ARIES29 in reply to LearnAll

Spot on learn all. All of a sudden life & plans for the future stop because there is no future anymore, just planning for the people you leave behind.

On the morning of MY 50th birthday I walked to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and said to the guy looking back at me >>>

" You are 50 years old, have undoubtedly lived longer than you have left to live AND MOST LIKELY WILL BE TOLD YOU HAVE CANCER BEFORE YOU DIE."

Being TOLD I HAVE CANCER some 15 years later DID NOT SURPRISE ME but what did cause some consternation was that it was GLEASON 10 PCa. Those years between and for decades before my 50th B-day I took good care of my body with a diet that was supposed to be Heart Healthy and anti cancer PLUS my exercise had me pegged by medical personnel as being an Endurance Athlete. My expectations were for some other form of cancer especially since I had no symptoms related to PCa.

The choice of treatment was not typical and very well could shorten my time remaining. Just hoping that my individualized experiment might prove to be helpful in fulfilling my Doctor's goal of finding a new pathway to a longer QUALITY OF LIFE for PCa Patients.

There are so many things that might causes prostate cancer. Emotions, stress, BRAC1 or BRAC2, etc.... Had you not taken care of your body as you did, maybe you'd be gone already.

AGREE TOTALLY

I was considered the "healthiest" men among relatives as all my labs used to be perfectly normal. Weight almost in ideal range. Physically and mentally healthy and fully functioning. UNTIL...comes very high PSA.. out of nowhere...I went thru few weeks of "WHY ME ?" No Body in family has any kind of cancer. Most males in family die of heart attacks in their 70s. Since then.. I have given up my "PITY PARTY" and started counting blessing that first 24 months have not been bad. Could have been much worse. Its so funny that PCa loves the healthiest men..

Dr. George Sheehan >>> georgesheehan.com/bio A World Record Holder Runner and died from PCa. Very interesting man recorded his journey.

Too many other people, especially children, in this World MUCH WORSE OFF than me so I never held a Pity Party or felt a Why Me? My wife and I customized bicycles for children ages 5+/- with Cerebral Palsy and Spina Bifida so a little PCa is nothing.

Mascouche
Mascouche in reply to LearnAll

I am still the healthiest person amongst my relatives and friends. Perfect BMI, clean living, exercising one hour a day, etc...

At the end of January my wife caught a virus that had her having migraines and throwing up several times a day for almost two weeks. I caught it from her 3 days after her but I had only regular headaches and slight nausea and it must have lasted about a week.

So despite "dying from cancer" I still have a decent immune system I guess. :)

XPO1
XPO1 in reply to Mascouche

They (being the people who follow PCA) say we are likely to die of something other that PCA.

I played ice hockey last night...we only had 7 skaters against at least 12-13 on the other team. I can tell you that even at 55 I'm in better shape than most 40 somethings and probably alot of 30 somethings. That's with a T < 1 ng/dl.

It's a mind game for most ofus...just live life and worry about dying for another day.

Mascouche
Mascouche in reply to XPO1

Makes one wonder what we could achieve if we had full access to our Testosterone, right? :)

Btw, I am still doing the Wim Hoff challenges, increasing them every day. I can now hold my breath for up to 2.25 minutes, I can empty my lungs and do 27 push-ups with no air and I can stand under the coldest setting of my shower (which is very cold in Canada) for a minute as of yesterday before getting dizzy. While I am not doing this to achieve any records or compete against anyone, I find that surpassing myself constantly despite being on ADT is a good anti-depressant in itself. :)

XPO1
XPO1 in reply to Mascouche

I think limit at room temperature for holding one's breath is approximately 8 minutes. 2.5 minutes is a long time and 27 push-ups on empty lungs is very good.

Not into the cold shower though

You're heard of shrinkage right?

Mascouche
Mascouche in reply to XPO1

I got shrinkage from ADT, haven't you? :)

Mascouche
Mascouche in reply to XPO1

And I realize that I misspoke on something. I am not holding my breath for up to 2.25 minutes since I am emptying my lungs before the count begins. I should have said that I can currently last up to 2.25 minutes with no oxygen in my lungs.

monte1111
monte1111 in reply to Mascouche

I tried out for Seal Team Six. I think they're still laughing.

XPO1
XPO1 in reply to monte1111

They were searching for people who could swim like a herring, not eat a herring

monte1111
monte1111 in reply to XPO1

My robe is herring bone pattern. Huh? I can't even get past the smell of seafood. Apparently, I am more evolved.

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to monte1111

You should have smeared yourself with anchovies ... Flippers love those.

monte1111
monte1111 in reply to Kaliber

Anchovies belong in Worcestershire and steak sauce. They should have ceased to swim about at this point.

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to monte1111

The natives in Alaska eat seals , but everyone else just blubbers about it ...I’ll bet a little Worcestershire would hit the spot .... some salsa too. Sounds like you are a connoisseur.

monte1111
monte1111 in reply to Kaliber

They eat the cute little seals after clubbing them? One way to tenderize your meat. Blubber, blubber, blubber. I've been called a lot of things. Might as well add connoisseur to the list. Had to delete my last line. Would have been deleted. I bet

j-o-h-n is one of them connoisseurs. He should be deleted.

Agree with that, live every day to its fullest.

Beautiful Todd

Loved your post, makes me feel even more positive. Take care everyone love & hugs to you all lm seeing me consultant face to face yipeee. SheilaF xxx

Once more I think I will be able to see the fruit trees bloom. Again this year, a most magnificent sight. It was not promised. It is a gift.

LearnAll
LearnAll in reply to MateoBeach

My Mango trees and Lychi tree have started blooming...Looking forward to Summer.

Well said my friend. I sit here myself with my puppy on my lap watching the sun come up , thanking the good lord for another morning to enjoy with my loved ones. Keep up the fight there warrior 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Wow... so many awesome replies. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and emotions.

In Spanish we have a saying the goes "no hay mal que por bien no venga". Which is "there is no harm that doesn't come for some good". I see you've you got that perfectly! Thank you.

Nuttin like the TV remote...........

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/18/2021 2:14 PM EST

Nuttin like being able to find the TV remote............

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to monte1111

J-o-h-n sat on his .... he’s still looking for it.

j-o-h-n
j-o-h-n in reply to Kaliber

So that's where the damn thing is.........(thanks to you and monte)

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/18/2021 5:26 PM EST

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to j-o-h-n

Comm’on don’t pretend, I know you take it out to change the batteries now and then .... maybe wipe it off a little. ( 😱 ewwwwwwwwwwwww ) Oh wait .... is that your remote control or something else .... my bad ....

j-o-h-n
j-o-h-n in reply to Kaliber

😱 ewwwwwwwwwwwww

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 02/18/2021 6:46 PM EST

Kaliber
Kaliber in reply to j-o-h-n

Rotflol 😊😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️

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