Thoughts in the night

[Cancer2x]

A small piece I wrote a coupla years after my surgeries. Just thoughts.

I WONDER ...

I wonder if my lover ever

Sees me quite the same ...

Does she wonder if I'll be there

When she stops and

Calls my name?

Do her hands feel a difference

As they wander all about?

Silent hunters for the changes

That the cancer brings about.

Does she lie awake in silence listening to every breath?

Trying to hear the future...

Pondering my death?

I wonder if she wonders of

The wonders of the world...

Or has my being sickly

Changed her views,

Changed the girl?

And I wonder if I asked her

What she thinks about these days ...

If she'd tell me of the things she thinks ...

And if The Wonder stayed.

I Wonder ...

[NPfisherman]

You have talent....so well put.... I am not sure how my wife is dealing with it.....she can not talk about the S word-- Survival..... She says we will say that I am "being treated"....what the future holds..... I wonder..... only know that I am in a war and working hard to do my very best.... Fight on, brothers....

Fish

[Tub111]

Beautiful...

Sheri (cheerleader for you all now)

[Collarpurple]

I think you wrote what each wife thinks at diff time. I know I say it’s treatable because it gives hope😍

[NWLiving]

Its just different now. Sweet, scary, warm, living loving differently. Every moment matters more. Loved your poem.

[teamkv in reply to NWLiving]

Well put. Difficult, but there are many gifts in spite of it all.

[Tfly]

Thanks

[monte1111]

Very very good. Sounds like you got a little Robert Frost in your blood.

[j-o-h-n]

Now that's perfect.... I wonder how you do it?

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Thursday 06/20/2019 5:57 PM DST

[Carlosbach]

Loved this C2x. I know that I am sometimes shocked by the changes to my body, so I also wonder

[Cancer2x in reply to Carlosbach]

Thank you Carlos! It is one piece of many that I wrote while deep in the tries of the post-RP maelstrom, sent to the CANCER-L listserve. One pass, no editing, I was an emotional typing fool! I never saved any, but others did, and got some back,

Here’s another short one. Remember, this was just post RP,

NEEDS

I need . . .

Soft songs, calming the chaotic parts

Of my mind.

Soft hands, caressing the tired parts

Of my body.

Soft words, healing the wounded parts

Of my soul.

But, alas,

I am alone.

I need.

[Carlosbach in reply to Cancer2x]

Damn you! You know I cry easily on these damn meds!

Exceptionally beautiful. You have a real gift. I've tried to capture some of my emotional response to the cancer and the treatment, but it always ends up sounding like a drunken sophomore's poetry assignment. Please continue to share your talent with us. I think reading something that captures what I too am feeling is extremely therapeutic.