Just another scared daughter - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

22,373 members28,135 posts

Just another scared daughter

chocolatelover_123 profile image

Hi everyone, it’s chocolate lover again

I just have these episodes where I really fear for my dad and have major anxiety on what’s gonna happen. I’m trying to prepare for the future on what treatments I should recommend to my father when zytiga does fail. Does zytiga failing automatically mean a death sentence? I’m doing tons of research online and it’s saying how there’s nothing really you can do after. I’ve read all the suggestions from my previous post and I’m wondering if it was the wrong decision to take zytiga now instead of having early chemo? My dads tumour is lying on the sacrum bone and the doctor doesn’t seem too worried about his small lung mets or having chemo done right now. But I’ve heard that having chemo done early is very helpful rather than waiting last minute.

I should be studying for my midterm tomorrow....lol. But instead I’m just researching for my father and preparing for the worst when his last checkup went good. I don’t really know why I’m making this post or what I’m hoping to get out of this. I’m just a confused and scared daughter. Sorry for the vent, thanks for listening. I pray for everyone fighting this disease.

Written by
chocolatelover_123 profile image
chocolatelover_123
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
14 Replies
tango65 profile image
tango65

There is not overall survival difference between treating initially with abiraterone or with docetaxel.

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/295...

Lung metastases could respond well to ADT therapy:

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/313...

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/311...

When zytiga fails, he could be treated with Provenge and chemo with docetaxel. Eventually he could be treated with other anti androgens such enzalutamide or apalutamide or even zytiga again since chemo could re sensitize the cancer to zytiga. Then there are possible treatments with Lu 177 PSMA and Ac 225 PSMA and with Ra 223 and with cabazitaxel. If the cancer has mutations such as MSI-H, MMR deficit, Brca , ATM etc. he could be treated with drugs such as Olaparib or keytruda.

LearnAll profile image
LearnAll

As tango narrated there are many more treatments even if zytiga fails. When we start imaging worst case scenario, it makes us very ansious and confused. We need to stay calm and make logical choices as we come across problems.

Its good that you are empowering yourself with knowledge to help your Dad. He must be a proud father to have a caring daughter like you.

You need to take care of yourself and your education at the same time. Wish you and your Dad good luck.

He does have treatment options as has already been discussed by Tango65 and you have to wait until they are needed to decide which one is the best option. You can't figure that out now and most importantly, his treatment is still working.

I'm very familiar with the anxiety that comes with having this disease, wondering what's going to happen next and how I am going to deal with it. The key thing I've learned regarding the anxiety is to stay focused on what is happening now, not what might happen later on. That way, you can enjoy the time you have with him right now and make the most of it. None of us have a good outcome in the end, but that doesn't mean we can't have a great life now in the present tense.

As far as treatment decisions go, you always have to be forward-looking. We can't allow ourselves to engage in "what if we had done this" kinds of thought experiments. That has the same outcome as future "what ifs". I make the best decisions with the most information possible and then move forward from there. It's unproductive to revisit those decisions.

I really hope for the best for your father, but also that you will be able to have peace. I know how hard that is, but I also know this is something that we can change in our lives because I am doing it.

I'm in a similar situation to your dad.

Tall_Allen profile image
Tall_Allen

There is no such thing as "preparing for the future." The future, good or bad, will be what it will be. Rehearsing all possible scenarios is a sure way to torture yourself, as you are finding. Your mind is your enemy - it is trying to pay attention to possible future sources of pain, by creating the feeling of anxiety. This is a natural adaptive response that evolved to keep us safe from the tigers roaming outside. It no longer serves a useful function. There are techniques you can learn to help you stay focussed on the present. I practice mindfulness. With about 3 months of daily practice, it became habitual. The anxious ruminative thinking never completely goes away (because we are human), but the bouts of it will become shorter and less frequent. Paradoxically, it is the opposite of avoidance - you learn to fully engage with thoughts, feelings, and sensations in the present. In most cities there are classes you can take. I found that I could practice more in a group setting.

Lisa0627 profile image
Lisa0627

I’m a daughter who lost her Dad In July. I know exactly how you are feeling. We analyzed and over analyzed. To this day I second guess what we could have done differently with his treatments. The one thing I don’t second guess is all the time we had together. Take pictures, talk ... get your Dad the most comfortable lift chair that they make & spend lots of time next to him. I’m so thankful for those moments. I’d give anything for even just another hour. Prayers to your Dad & strength sent to you

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply toLisa0627

Dear Lisa, This is the first time you posted and it is such a sad one. May God treat your dad as well as you did, and may his wings replace his earthly lift chair. Your Dad will always be alive in your heart and mind, Take care and continue to post here.... Thank you....

j-o-h-n Wednesday 02/26/2020 6:36 PM EST

Lisa0627 profile image
Lisa0627 in reply toj-o-h-n

Thank you John- your reply brought tears to my eyes. Thank you

Magnus1964 profile image
Magnus1964

There are a lot of other treatments out there. I don't know what other treatments your Dad has been given. Can you me know other treatments if any? Some may depend on his general health i.e. heart disease, age, weight, other health problems

chocolatelover_123 profile image
chocolatelover_123 in reply toMagnus1964

He had his prostate removed and radiation at the time of diagnosis. He’s been on hormone therapy ever since (injections I think). I know he’s had zoladex. Now he’s on zytiga. He’s also recently been diabetic.

Magnus1964 profile image
Magnus1964

If he fails zytiga there is always casodex or xtandi. In the case of soft tissue mets there is Provenge or chemotherapy. And of course salvage radiation or zofigo for multiple bone mets.

There are a lot of other drugs on trial now should be available in the next few years.

Lynsi13 profile image
Lynsi13

Hey chocolate lover! I'm a fellow daughter here in the group and I can fully understand what you are feeling. I feel like everyone has given you a pretty good idea medically of what to expect but I wanted to touch on the emotional aspect. I am a very anxious person to begin with and when my dad was diagnosed nearly five years ago, I felt my world crumble. Believe it or not my mom had suffered a stroke two weeks before my dad's diagnosis and we were still scrambling to figure out our new roles and deal with that emotional hit when his diagnosis came. I can't even think back on those days without getting very emotional. It was like all my worst fears came true.

A few years ago I started on a low-dose anti-anxiety medication because like you, I was so troubled by all of the fears that my day-to-day life was being ruined. I was actually developing ulcers and all types of stress related issues. The anti-anxiety medicine has really helped to take the edge off of my anxiety and it's helped me to be a better aid for my father and mother. I'm not an emotional mess and I'm better able to help them with their medical decisions.

Another thing I would like to encourage you with is that the world of prostate cancer changes rapidly. This June will be five years since my dad was diagnosed. In that time I have seen so many drugs developed, clinical trials open up, and drugs become a more available to a wider range of people. It's impossible to even accurately look ahead in this world of prostate cancer. The list that folks gave you of what is available for your dad when and if he fails zytiga may be obsolete by the time he does.

I would suggest that you try to get a handle on your emotions not only for yourself but for your dad. Even if it means taking a low-dose anti-anxiety medication, you will be more helpful 2 him if you are better yourself. I would also suggest that you stay abreast of new treatments but don't obsessed. Also, as Lisa suggested above, enjoy the moments with your dad! Take the cancer diagnosis as a reminder to enjoy the moments with everyone you love. Hug him a little longer, listen to his voice a little closer and take time to enjoy the gift of life!

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n

Vent all you want and anytime you want...

Good Luck, Good Health and Good Humor.

j-o-h-n Wednesday 02/26/2020 6:31 PM EST

“Confused and scared “ it just shows how much you care for your father . A lot depends on him . We all respond differently to treatments..I think if or when Zytiga fails there will be others .

ladybird-91 profile image
ladybird-91

Another scared daughter here...I'm so sorry we're going through this. This group has very generous and compassionate people, I've been reading the posts for some months and they are so helpful. The only thing I can say to help you now is: stick around and follow the advice of the more experienced ones. Hope you could do well in your studies. My prayers are with you and your dad.

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Father,56, metastatic prostate ca, completed triplet therapy just now but experiencing pain

Hi everyone , My father ,56 age ,is diagnosed with metastatic ca prostate , Gleason score 4+5,...
Helllfire profile image

Zytiga with hydrocortison

Dear all, My dad just took a test of cortisol level at 7am and the result’s 1.5nmol/L (the lab’s...

Update on my father

I just wanted to post a quick update on my father. He has metastatic castrate resistant prostate...
jberg22 profile image

Zytiga & prednisone.

Hello Everyone, This is about my Father, he was on Nubeqa and Eligard shot for last two years. His...
Szdnizam3 profile image

Scared and Feeling Helpless

Let me start by saying that it was my intention to wait for an official diagnosis for my dad before...
Cafu6 profile image

Moderation team

Bethishere profile image
BethishereAdministrator
Number6 profile image
Number6Administrator
Darryl profile image
DarrylPartner

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.