It's been a hell the last 19 days my Dad has been in the hospital. He was doing great up until that time, and then he just got very ill from an infection and kept going into septic shock. Two days ago he said he didn't want to be resuscitated if it happens again. It is happening again and all of his systems are failing. His blood pressure is down to 100/30 and his oxygen exchange in the blood is very low. He is very weak and is having trouble talking. It's unbelievable how he went from being so good to dying in such a short time.
I just want to give a brief synopsis of his treatment and just some knowledge that I gained.
He was diagnosed 15 months ago with metastatic prostate cancer that spread to the bone, 2 lymphs, and bladder. Initiated lupron with xtandi and PSA went from an 11 down to <0.02, It held there for 9 months and then started inching upwards until it got to a 2. It held at around 2.11 for the last 3 months with no change. It stopped the spread and he was thriving.
1. Survival statistics are absolute bullshit. They may mean something if you are a researcher looking at medications in a large cohort, but they are absolutely meaningless to the INDIVIDUAL. You can make it 5 years or 3 months. I thought my Dad had a lot left in him, but here we are.
2. Having your testosterone destroyed does not mean you are any less of a man or that you will lead a miserable life. My father still is and always will be my Superman, regardless of his testosterone level. Did he have some bad days? Yes. But most of his days were great and he absolutely loved life. Don't let your test number define you. You are so much more than that.
3. Please make sure to hold your family close and remember that everyday will be perfect. I've been very close with my father over the last 15 months. Hanging out with him almost everyday and seeing him. We would still get in some arguments, but that's OK. We defined our relationship by communication and love, not by perfection.
4. Make sure to always get vaccinated if you have a weakened immune system. It is so important to have all the defenses you possibly could to continue to stay strong and get treatment.
5. Make sure to have an outlet of where to go and blow off steam. Have self-care.
That's about it. My superman is going to die today and that void will never be filled. My life will never be the same. No one will ever replace Dad and nothing I do will every bring him back. I just have to look at the wonderful times I have spent with him and how his DNA will still live through me. How everyone tells me I am the carbon copy of my father. I just have to hold on to that. Thank you to the forum for getting me through some tough times and answering any questions I had. I think it doesn't matter what race, background, or politics we follow. We can all say FUCK CANCER and everything that it brings.
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BarronS
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And, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. You are an incredible person and child to your father. I hope you find peace in knowing that you showed up for your dad by advocating and walking along side him through this exhausting, anxiety filled jungle of PC.
You will miss him forever and I’m praying for peace to all of your family in this very precious time.
I lost my dad three weeks ago, not to cancer but after similar problems during a hospitalization. It is still surreal. It’s a loss so profound it will never be healed. My heart is with you. I’m so sorry.
I’m so glad you’re with your dad. I know he must be so proud and grateful.
My condolences to you and your Dad's family and friends. May he find peace and tranquility in the hereafter. May he remain in your heart and memory forever. Life to the living.....
Fuck those little bastards that run around partying in our bodies.
It is so very sad to see your Superman Dad fade from this chapter in life and go on to the next one. May he join all of those angels that suffered here and enjoy his new chapter knowing that he created a wonderful daughter who loves and cherishes him. He will always remain a part of you and you will keep the memory of him in your heart. Both of you were indeed lucky to have each other... Stay Well and God Bless you and your Dad's family and friends. Please don't forget us....
BarronS...sad to hear the news. Praying for Dad's soul to achieve eternal peace and merger with almighty God.....we all come from him and we all go back and become one with him.
I see you have emrged as a wise and mature person going thru this difficult experience. God give you strength to accept this huge loss.
Yes yell to the sky that this C is the crap of crap
Hen the missing him feels unbearable try to think of something funny he said or did
It does help. But be mad damn be angry
But be strong remember you are your fathers child and when you are very Quiet you’ll hear your dad’s voice I know I did because you were too precious to him so he will always be there with you❤️
My condolences to you. Thank you for sharing your experience. You’re right about none of us knowing when the demons will take over but this community does give me hope. It’s so good to hear you we’re able to spend such quality time with your father. You are a wonderful caring daughter & I’m sure your father appreciates every moment you spent together. I appreciate your advice and plan continue to live my life as fully as I can with my family because life is a precious gift. God Bless you.
I just want you to know from your fathers standpoint how much your love and being there meant to him. How do I know ? I have a daughter that I talk to every day. As you say, we fight and talk and play games and talk some more. It means so much to me that she’s here for me. I can’t even describe the joy and peace it brings. And like your dad, all I want after I pass is for my daughter to lead a good and meaningful and happy life. And to never have any regrets. Be happy. You did all you could while he was here. Now live your life. That’s what us dads want. God bless you
I feel your pain and helplessness. Do be strong and I especially like, “I think it doesn't matter what race, background, or politics we follow. We can all say FUCK CANCER and everything that it brings.” Well said and a timely reminder to all of us. Thank you.
So my dear brothers, sisters and caregivers, spend as much time as we all can with our loved ones and cherish every living moment. God Blesss.
My heart breaks for you. Please accept my heartfelt condolences for the loss of your Superman Dad. May God strengthen you and give you peace during this difficult time. Your Dad will always be in your heart. Kim
We are all saddened by your news. It brings us back to reality that no one knows how much time any of us have left. Thanks so much for your participation in this forum and your many posts. God bless.
BarronS, there are no magical words that I can say to make this any easier on you. You have been an amazing advocate for your father throughout this journey. Never believe that you could have done more.
My love and condolences to you and your family during this time, please know you can reach out to me privately as you have done before, anytime...
I am sorry for your loss and the pain you are now going through. But, I am glad you got to spend such meaningful time with him these last 15 months. My father moved in with my family in his early 80s and lived with us for 7 years. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the type of man who really shared his feelings and I feel from your post, that you had a more meaningful 15 months with you father than I had with mine over a much longer period of time.
We can be weakened so we are open to an infection that kills.. I’m happy that you are by his side . Your enduring love is a great testament to the quality of your fathers hand in raising you well . May he ride a great light into the heavens and find eternal peace . He did good with you .. Peace to you the loving child . My heart cry’s as I write this .... RIP ..Papa 🕊🙏
These days, many of us are separated geographically from our families and don’t get the opportunity you’ve had to spend time with them during their final days. Count yourself fortunate during this time of heartache. May these fond memories sustain you and may he Rest In Peace.
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My beloved father and best friend has passed away, he will always be my hero.
Father, stage 4
Hello, dear people!
Thank you for allowing me to be a silent participant
My hero is gone
