I'm looking for ideas/ advice on how to hold on to the things I love and enjoy doing...I've finally got to go fishing today...out of a 5hr session I last an hour 😒... it was just irritating the hell out of me...It's always been my get away and time to relax...I set everything up and was in my shelter out the cold wind...I just packed up and come home...this is not me at all...I've been irritable from the get go today...I lost my temper this morning looking for the little pin thing to pop my Sim card tray out of my tablet as its new and hadnt been set up...I know I put it in my top draw to prevent me getting annoyed to then not be able to find it... I feel I try so freaking hard to take away the things that make me pop just for it to go wrong even more... I'm really fed up with my adhd at the moment... It's ruling my life AGAIN!!...now I'll shut myself away from everybody now to stop me feeling like a burden and create a bad atmosphere at home...What advice can someone give...if any?
Losing the enjoyment of everything I ... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
Losing the enjoyment of everything I love 😮💨
Hi Pro-masker. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. You are always the positive one, finding the fun. I can relate to feeling like you are stuck with a brain that just won't work. If I have a tough time with ADHD, it can trigger my depression. Watch out for these red flags - losing interest, feeling like a burden etc.
Sometimes I feel that taking a step back and zooming out, helps. What has gone on in your life recently? Are you mentally fatigued or is there something or someone worrying you?
Mu example: I have a close relative with cancer. She's struggling and I am so afraid for her. The last month, my ADHD felt HUGE. It wasn't until I saw my therapist that I realized how big my fear of losing her is. It kept my mind so busy that there was little capacity left for normal day-to-day. It pushed me into depression and I blamed it all on how stupid I was for making mistakes at work. After allowing myself to acknowledge the fear and everything else, I felt better and it helped me cope with the ADHD better.
Maybe you don't have anything that changed in the last while. What if you zoomed out and looked at more detail in your own picture? What would you see? What is it that your mind/body/heart needs right now?
I truly hope it helps. Please ignore and excuse if I am wrong. We each have our own journey.
So sorry to her about your friend, cancer isn't nice to see in someone we love...we feel hopeless and all we can do is comfort them...I'm currently under reveiw with the specialist as I have a dark patch appeared under my toe nail and there's been no trauma...the nail is starting to detach and thats all they kept asking is 'has the nail detached?' At first the answer was no but now its detached im silently worrying...waiting for results has got me a little worked up but I'm kinda putting it to the back of my mind...
I've been taking all my vitamins and meds...I was on the phone to doctors yesterday as I've been trying to get a medication off my perscription...my doctors aren't licensed to do so, it's an anti psychotic i cant be prescribed both at the same, my doctor even said he is more then happy to precribe me back on to my original med and i need trazone again too...I just don't need the anti psychotics... it has to be by the mental health specialist that put me on them ive been waiting since mid last year and have done nothing but chase them up to no avail...I don't even take them anymore...i just need it to be taken off and replaced with mitazipine which has always been the one that helps me with sleep and appetite...I use to take them for 6 months then take a break (under my GP supervision) then back on them...but these last 4 yrs I've been stuck on the meds that I was on when I had a break down...later to find it was ADHD all along and I was misdiagnosed...so I'm still waiting for a reply from my doctor as their secretary actually phoned me and said she was going to get this sorted...still no contact this morning...sorry that seemed a bit long...but this is a stress factor for me as I feel I'm not getting heard, no matter how loud I shout!
Other little stresses...I have been constantly thinking over and over 'why'...'what's changed'...'why the depression'...just trying to figure out whats going on, trying to recognize any 'red flags..I've taken a week off work to do things...all I've done is sit down and be stuck with paralysis...I have so much I wanted to do and it's Friday already 😮💨 nothing been done...
If I didn't want your opinion I wouldnt post on here...so never be sorry...everyone here is my support and I appreciate everything that is said and advice given😉
sounds like you’re letting smaller things bother you. Are you holding on to certain stressors and not able to let go? I notice when I’m stressed,I become agitated easily. Sometimes those are the days I just breathe and do some self care. Yeah, it doesn’t always go according to plan, but we keep trying. Remember, it won’t be like this forever. Maybe look into DBT and see if those strategies help. My mindset slowly has been taking a turn, but I remember when life felt like nothing but poop being thrown at me.
Hi Mamamichl...
I do have a few little stresses...I suppose that's got to be it...I slept really well last night...I do feel a lot more refreshed and positive today... I've been told alot to look into DBT I now what it is but don't know how it works lol...well not yet anyway...my wife could see I was struggling alot yesterday and just left me to mope (this is a good thing so i have no additional stress when im struggling to even get off the sofa...I go very introverted and then when someone says something to me everything comes out round the wrong way and I sound like an ass...this is another time where I just shut myself away in my bedroom to prevent it affecting everyone in the house...
I've had a week off and the house is full...I have my eldest on the sofa for 2 weeks which seems to be a regular occurrence...he's 23 and he stays with his girlfriend 50 miles away until he runs out of money which makes me feel completely used...he works 10 mins from my house or 1hr from his girlfriends...so when he can't afford the travel he comes and lives off us...I'd do anything for my kids and it's nice to see him...but everyday I'm coming downstairs and he's asleep spread right out... I cant have my normal routine which is super stressful due to my autistic trait, I HAVE to have routine but it always goes out the window for 2 weeks...he was over an hour late for work this morning because he stays up all night gaming then relying on us to wake him up...but we're all off work so we've been making the most of no alarm and we slept in...it does p*** me off...he manages when he's at his girlfriends which is a long way from work because he knows she won't have it... he's had so many opportunities to have his own place but instead he sofa surfs...he's a fool to himself and I won't help him as it's his responsibility... his mum does everything for him which isn't helping...
I shouldn't of taken this week off...I should have waited till next week...
Yeah, that would be my breaking point too. Extra people always gets to me faster, even though I only do this for people I love. I remember a saying “family is like fish. It’s good for a day or two, but then it starts to stink”. Have you talked to you wife or son how it affects you when he’s there when you’re not so stressed? Open communication is key and may help your son to be more responsible.
If you like, I can tell you all about my DBT experience. It’s intensive but awesome. Weekly meetings one on one to go over my situations and learn a new skill then plan to use it, daily diary card, on call counselor, and even groups. I started in the summer, and just now am starting group, so I’m not sure rn how that will be, but I have loved it so far. I’m an analytical person and so it works super well for me.
“family is like fish. It’s good for a day or two, but then it starts to stink”. Made me really chuckle 🤭
I always speak to everyone through my wife as it just ends in a explosion when they start arguing back because I never get my words out round the right way...it's a lot of 'no, wait, that come out wrong' it doesn't help...so the wife is my mediator...I have an agreement that if I'm asking her to speak to them, I'm being serious and expect it to be heard by the kids otherwise they will start having to deal with me direct... because I'll end up popping and kick off about it, it's a trigger I've had to take away... after all they are 17,18 and 23, plus sons girlfriend (17) that lives with us...with everyone home it's 6 ppl I do get irritated when they are all going on)...they know if what I've asked for isn't respected it becomes a tough time for them because I'm all or nothing...the wife is the bit inbetween lol.
I may end up covering DBT in my life coaching, maybe? I finished my 2 yrs of counsilling just last week...that was a bit emotional, my therapist was my therapy mum...giving me the skills my parents should of...but I don't hold that against my parents otherwise I'd forever be bitter and thats just not healthy for anyone...I think therapy is absolutely vital for ppl with adhd...there's quiet a few different types and I feel I definitely need to try others on top of what I have already done...it's great when we find what works for us and it sounds like your there 👏... I hope the positive work continues for you...
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