ADHD and Sex

[Chionophile]

How has your sex life been impacted by ADHD, if at all? I ask because the same laser focus used for other things has been also the one hyper focus for sexual activity. I am going through perimenopause and one of the out of wack hormones is leading up to hyper sexuality. With me being ADHD, it has literally become the only thing I think about. I’m either shopping for something, doing something or thinking about it. Anyone else or just me? To be clear, it complaining because the last couple weeks have been fun 😁 but it feels like it can impact my life and responsibilities if not controlled better. Thank you!

[STEM_Dad]

I can't speak from a woman's perspective, but I'll respond as best I can.

First of all, what you're describing sounds a lot like the focus that guys in their teens and 20s go through. The changing hormones and rush of hormones (especially testosterone), along with growing awareness of one's sexual nature.

• It's a curious phenomenon that the people groups who are known to experience heightened sexual desire are younger men and older women. I've heard this noted again and again over the last few decades.

I understand that a lot of women experience a change one way or another during perimenopause and menopause.

(I'm pretty certain that my ex was going through perimenopause when she became much more interested in sex...just not with me; she had an affair. But I think there was more going on her than just a change in desire, but I've gone far enough off topic.)

This is definitely something that you should talk to your doctor about. You can have your hormone levels checked and other lab work done to see what is going on biologically.

Other things to consider:

• Adjustment in ADHD medication

• Adopting or adjusting a fitness routine, mindfulness/meditation practice - (these can stimulate endorphins and boost the neurotransmitters which might help you to have better control of your attention)

• Intentionally pursuing hobbies and interests (which might help you to feel more in control)

If you're in a relationship, be as open with your partner as you feel you can be.

• (If your partner is a middle-aged man, then I can share from my own experience and knowledge. He might be experiencing a diminishing of physical sexual desire. That does not mean that he would lose interest! Older men tend to have better mastery over themselves, which can contribute to the relationship in other ways.)

~~~

One other thing of note:

• If you are in a new relationship (or experiencing an attraction to someone new, at least), then it's quite possible to experience intense arousal at any age. Being in love can be quite stimulating. This is pretty normal and natural.

(However, for a small percentage of people, this can result in a very intense sort of love known as "limerence", described as "being madly in love". It's a condition that can last from a few months on up to about 3 years, before settling down. But that's an entirely different topic of conversation.)