i was just made aware that this month, July, is Disability Pride Month- a month to look back not at the negatives of our lives, like being Neurodivergent, but at the things we do well. Folks with ADHD are typically considered friendly, able to complete things like difficult research with ease, and even some of the most creative people alive.
So, while we finish up this month, let’s try to look at the positives we bring, and not the negatives. We’re all super important, and we all bring unique “superpowers” to others, so lets lift each other up!
I'd like to start by saying thank you to this group and the support its given me, and I hope I can be that “ little ray of light” for someone else as they deal with the mixed up world of having ADHD.
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NotAChevy
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I was just thinking a little while ago about how ADHD is among the large number of biological or neurological "invisible" disabilities. I didn't even realize that we were in Disability Pride Month. (The name is a little confusing, because wasn't Pride Month for LGBTQ+ people in June?)
Yeah, no. I'm sorry, but while I fully endorse and support helping each other out on this forum and any other way I am able, this is completely counter to a number of things we have to deal with having ADHD. This feels incredibly counter-productive.
I wonder:
How do we stop acting like victims by adopting this self-victimizing language and format?
How do we keep these channels clean of anything sounding like politics and the never ending news cycle we're supposed to be detoxing from, among other things like negativity, etc?
Does anyone here really believe, that our spouses, families, etc. are going to take well to us having our 'special month' so we can be 'seen' when they already can't stand to be in the room with us?
This is all 100% rhethorical, of course, and I can go on and on and on, but I believe I've made my point.
Everyone else can do whatever they want, as we all have free will. I will keep fighting the good fight and setting an example of strength and resilience, despite having very, very bad days, without employing these additional crutches that only serve to confuse the language and are an inducement to self-victimization leading to increased RSD, impostor syndrome, and all the rest of it.
PLEASE NOTE: I am doing much better with my family because I am the one changing and modifying my behaviour. Through this ADHD thing I was making THEM modify their behaviour around me and that is a non-starter. This to me smacks of making the world pad the room for us and wrap us in bubble wrap, and I, for one, refuse to engage in anything that chips away at my serenity and self-discipline. It's just too tempting and too self-defeating.
One does not learn to stop being a victim by trying to become some new, special kind of victim in the new endless spectrum of self-victimization propaganda. I don't care if I'm 'seen' by the world. That is pure narcissism and it is nothing if not insidious. I care if I'm 'seen' living out my days as a good example of man, father, husband to my family, full stop. To the extent that I can help others with this, I will be using other methods. Count me out on this one.
I don't think that we need a designated awareness month. And asking for understanding from other people doesn't absolve us from doing what we can to treat and accommodate our disorder... because it is our cross to bear, and not theirs.
However, I do feel that our society needs to correct the ignorance, misunderstanding, and misinformation about ADHD. Combatting ignorance is necessary for everyone's sake.
Disability Pride Month commemorates the month that the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was adopted into law. The ADA has helped bring about some meaningful changes, but there is a continual need to recognize that some people need the help of others to be better included in our society. As the article linked by Trailblazer20 points out, approximately 1 in 4 people will be disabled at some time in their lifetime.
I shudder to think that some societies in the past (including the US) used to propagate opinions towards sterilizing people with mental health conditions and euthanizing people with disabilities.
... we've come a long way, and I think it's important to recognize that we have.
I hear you. I take no issue whatsoever with combatting the ingorance, etc. What I do take issue with is funneling this education, awareness, etc. through the stereotypical tools of propaganda we have today. Just the method itself would make A LOT of people tune out because they're being preached to nonstop. In this format, it's also getting funneled in with A LOT of horrible, incorrect things that are harmful to human flourishing and are exactly the opposite of edifying in terms of maturity and emotional intelligence.
Heck - I'm tuning out on that specific front and I have adult ADHD. What does that tell you? You guys knock yourselves out. Not for me, thx.
There have to be better ways, and to your point there are - ADA. Law. Done. It's in the books and it is there every single day of the year, every year, not just on designated propaganda months. How about a little enforcement, that's all.
Let's all just act like responsible adults and stop anything that even smacks of self-victimization.
I may be wrong, sure, but that's all I see/perceive in such methods.
Interesting to read your perspective. I can logically (!) process some of your points. Definitely an exercise in perspective.
But I will also say that by the time I was done, I had all the feelings I experience around people who don't really get ADHD, and expect me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and figure out how to be like them instead of myself. I don't see myself as a victim, but I'm most assuredly not like the average bear, and not inclined to try to twist myself into a pretzel anymore. Any awareness in society is welcome; I'm not asking for anything except understanding and perhaps some kindness. Maybe more kindness than understanding.
Understood, no worries. I just operate from a standpoint that I have to be 100% responsible for my own life, and it is up to me to practice that self-compassion to get there, it's not up to other people. I get the overall good in increased awareness, etc., I just believe it is dangerous in terms of making us start to expect anything from anyone as expectations tend to only lead to resentment and increased conflict, not resolution.
This would be much more understandable to me for children, but as adults, we do have to take charge of our own ADHD, and no one else will because they cannot, never could, and frankly, that's as it should be. I don't go around padding the room for others either and trying to solve their problems, especially if it is something I couldn't possibly understand. That's a bit of a fool's errand at best.
It just feels to me like the non-adhders and us can get in a vicious cycle of trying to pull the other one to our side 'so they will finally understand', which they never will. It seems incredibly counterproductive and no one wins in the end.
My only statement is that, regardless of awareness, special celebrations, etc. the most important thing is that everyone behaves like a responsible adult and sweeps their side of the street. Some of us need a vastly different broom, agreed. That's all. We cannot keep 'recruiting' each other to the other side. It's about attraction, not retention, so I take what I like and I leave the rest. We'd all be better off if we all stuck to that, methinks.
Thank you for your feedback. I'll take it under advisement. If you feel like you were around someone who does not get ADHD, let me assure you that I do, as I plainly have it, to clarify. Nothing changes until you do. That is all.
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