long distance relationships

[Steak101]

As a very physical person, long distance has never worked for me. Yet here I am again… a shorter time frame but very very hard. He finally came back into service and we were in a flow convo (at least on my end 😔) and we got cut off. I immediately took it personally and created a story in my head that he did it on purpose because I was talking too much. This led to a fight and a night of no sleep for me. Immediately overwhelmed with regret and shame I assume to myself that how would he ever still want to be with me. He didn’t call me today but we did text and it seems okay now. I hate this & believe no one will be able to handle me…. All I needed was a hug. Please advise. Am I destined to solo life.

[Spud-u-Like1982]

I can understand how you feel, as I too used to only do long distance relationships, one of them lasted for 5 years (she was the one that got away). She would be angry with me if I didn't answer her messages within a couple of hours, whether I was working or not. She also took offence if I didn't write to her straight after she wrote to me. When we were together and I turned my back on her in bed, she'd start crying that I was ignoring her. It all got very exhausting after a time. We eventually split up because she wanted me to abandon my Parents and move hundreds of miles away from them. I didn't want to live in the city she lived in. Her Parents literally didn't speak to me for the 5 years I was with her. When we split, she kept trying to maintain contact with her, but I couldn't do it.

My relationships since have all been more local and have all been terrible in some way (I'm no saint either!).

That long distance one was my second proper relationship and my most fulfilling. The passion we shared was out of this world, but she was prone to mood swings and could be uncaring at times. She was also my muse and inspiration. The poetry from my heart just flowed through my pen on to paper and I look at how she made me feel then and rough copies of letters I sent to her, to the way I feel now and I'm just so completely jaded by life that no relationship will ever come close again.

With my current relationship in it's death throes my mind keeps going back to that relationship and how much I miss it.

To summarise, you won't forever be solo.

All my romantic relationships have been thanks to the internet, as I'm just too shy and I have low self esteem, which means I struggle to meet women. It sucks. I definitely didn't have such low self esteem when I was in that amazing relationship. I often wonder if she still thinks of me as much as I think of her.