Why am I so triggered by other “ADHD behaviour” now?

[Lilwonder]

I always thought of myself as a tolerant person. I work in a hospital as a Physio, on the surface at least, I have a lot of patience for what I now am able to label as behaviours that would indicate someone else (staff or patient) may be having difficulty regulating themselves, managing their emotions, stressing themselves out or being “dramatic” on purpose (or subconsciously) to “self medicate” but I now know it could be a symptom of ADHD. I would have expected my tolerance for these types of behaviours to increase with my own diagnosis, but in fact, my tolerance has decreased. Sometimes I have to excuse myself from a situation so I won’t get triggered and say something I may regret. Thoughts? Is it unmasking? Was I unconsciously awful to them before when Inthought I was being empathetic and tolerant? Or am I just more aware and also more aware of my own emotions, not dissociating? Thoughts? Does anyone else relate to this?

[Quincie]

Do you have ADHD yourself? It may be you see traits in others you dislike in yourself & your frustration with yourself is being projected onto these people.

[Lilwonder in reply to Quincie]

No doubt there is some of this going on. I definitely have ADHD, and have lots of traits.

[Mamamichl]

now that you have a diagnosis, you are hyper aware of your own symptoms, so you are more aware of these in others too. It has helped me as a special education teacher.

These symptoms have triggered me with my step kid but they are also having symptoms shown in ways that trigger me. I would look at what ADHD behaviors trigger you and why. My daughter whining and my step kid getting loud when repeatedly saying sorry are things I have to excuse myself for. Usually their outbursts and defiance don’t trigger me, but trigger their dad. Look at and document behaviors that trigger you and write down things you can do when these specific behaviors arise. You can add coping strategies or even plan a way to get out of the situation in an acceptable way.

I had to disown my mother because I was constantly triggered by her behavior (abuse), and I needed to set a boundary to have emotional safety for me and my family.

[Lilwonder]

wow, tough to have to disown your mom. But yeah, I hear you.