Recently diagnosed with inattention ADHD.

[Spud-u-Like1982]

Hi all,

This will be a LONG post, as I struggle to condense and edit what I write, so please bear with me...

I'm a 41 year old man who lives in rural South Lanarkshire and I have been unemployed for about a year now. I was sacked from my civil service job due to being off sick for just over 6 months due to bullying and harassment from my mentally ill manager. I was off with anxiety and I didn't want to disclose the full extent of my mental health issues because, despite confidentiality, alot of people there have loose lips.

Prior to going off sick, my Manager sent me for a referral with Optima Health where during the 2 hour assessment, the Doctor noted I was slow completing the assessment and she saw potential signs of ADHD.

I contacted my NHS Doctor with that information and it was scanned on to their system when I first went off sick and no further action was taken. Once I was sacked, I contacted them again and provided copies of school reports. The result was I was informed I do not have ADHD, despite no one speaking to me and basing it on some school reports from over 30 years ago. So I went to Bupa for a private assessment.

During the initial hour pre-assesment, the specialist told me she believed I had ADD and that I also showed signs of potential Autistic quirks. The latter was a real surprise to me.

Anyway, for my assessment I provided school reports, filled in the relevant questionnaires, my partner came with me (I didn't know she would be there for the duration) and the result of the assessment is I have (and I quote); ADHD Predominantly Inattentive presentation type (314.00). Impairment from these symptoms is assessed as moderate to high.

I have yet to hand the assessment to my GP.

Now my mental health history is I've always been anxious and prone to stress since in pre-school, I struggled to concentrate and 'meet my potential ' throughout my schooling and further education. My best friend was killed when I was 11 and I was mentally bullied at school resulting in an attempted overdose aged 15 (the Doctor I saw laughed and told me to cheer up). I'm a tall guy, so I didn't take enough pills, but my Parents didn't get me counselling and so it all snowballed.

By my late 20s I was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, stress and depression. None of this caused me to miss a single day of work. When I was put on antidepressants the unknown to me ADHD symptoms were turned up to 11 and I tried to fight people on the street, on the bus, etc. My girlfriend at the time had severe Asperger's syndrome, so we made quite the pair!

In all my jobs I have taken too long to complete my work, even though it was noted it was often detailed and faultless. Being in open plan offices meant I was easily distracted by chit chat around me, people walking by and I would then struggle to return to my place in my work. I always ended up having occupational health referrals and put it all down to my OCD (which I do have), but I think my Doctor also pigeonholed me with the OCD - the treatment for which never helped and I ended up more depressed than ever.

I should point out I have never taken drugs and I don't drink.

This all brings me to now. I have my formal diagnosis, I hope to get assessed for Autism. Having looked backwards in to my past I do now see many things I thought were down to the OCD, as being probably autistic traits. I hate being unemployed, but I don't feel mentally up to working at present. I desperately want a job where my lack of speed, but over checking can be a boon. My partner is struggling having me around the house all the time. Our relationship is very strained, as she wants me to settle down, marry and for us to try and have children, but relations between us are very bleak. Thoughts of suicide do creep up on me several days a month. I have zero interest in my hobbies and my sleep pattern is completely gone. In short, I think it's safe to say I am currently going through a bit of a nervous breakdown these last several months.

There just doesn't seem to be an end in sight and as the specialist says, the OCD, ADHD and potential Autism are completely in conflict, all the time, making my brain a constant battlefield. I have major social anxiety and I struggle to talk to strangers, unless it's something I'm interested in.

My apologies for this really long post, but I'm hoping some of you can possibly point me in the right direction of how to try and get my life back together.

I've been trying to read Scattered Minds by Gator Maté, plus Adult Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults by Lynn Weiss, but I keep skipping chapters just to the ones that interest me.

[Prussic]

Welcome Spud-I-Like-1982! There is no need to apologize for a long post. I’m so sorry for all the pain and upheaval you are going through. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote.

I’m a 47 yo male living in a rural mountain county in the U.S. I work a blue collar job and have a small homestead. I’m not a doctor. Since you asked for advice I’ll say what helped me.

First I think what you are feeling is normal. I’m also bi-polar so I know what it feels like to have your brain in constant conflict. Lithium helped the mania. Welbutrin has helped the depression and ADHD. I can’t take stimulants due to past history with opioids. Are meds an option?

My wife is trying to be understanding but she has said she hates my mental problems. We are in counseling. I’m trying to be more aware of how my actions affect her. I wonder if you and your partner could talk openly and kindly about your views on life in light of the recent diagnosis. Maybe just share and respond to one thing each with the boundaries being no personal attacks, no defensiveness, and no raised voices. This is hard for me but the more I practice the above the better I get at it.

I’ve lost more jobs, had more car accidents, more accidents period(!) than anyone else according to my wife. I finally found a trade I’m good at it and enjoy. It took awhile and has been a hardship on my family and major source of irritation for my wife. I stumbled onto my job. Are there employment placement offices in your area that could help you find a position suited to your strengths?

I’ve been helped by the book ADHD 2.0. It helped me feel hopeful.

I hope the coming week will have a win you can celebrate!

[Mamamichl]

When I was having those thoughts and they weren’t going away, I went to inpatient care (yes, a psych ward). It was beneficial in many ways, especially so I could get the right meds. Then I did intensive outpatient care, which helped with me to stop hating myself. If that is possible, I would recommend reaching out to intensive outpatient places and seeing if they woul recommmend inpatient or outpatient places. Another idea is to go to the ER and tell them about your thoughts when you are in a dark place, and they will help you get established at a place.