spouse adhd ruining life

[Jagulars]

so hard to deal with the complicated aspects of adhd in a relationship.

looking for support

thanks

[STEM_Dad]

Hi Jagulars , and welcome to the forum.

From the title of your post, I presume that it's your spouse who has ADHD.

Living with ADHD is difficult. I know that it's also hard for the partner of someone who has ADHD.

The information and treatment that is available is getting better, fortunately.

Is your spouse getting treatment for their ADHD? Medication? Therapy? Coaching?

Do they try to manage ADHD with lifestyle? (e.g. exercise, good nutrition, meditation/mindfulness)

[Prussic]

Welcome! I’d echo what STEM_Dad wrote.

I’m the ADHD spouse. My wife says that my bi -polar and ADHD ruined her life and regrets marrying me because of them and would have never married me if she knew I had them. This was said AFTER a year in therapy and on meds.

I know how hard it is to live with a ADHD person. I don’t think you are alone in feeling that way or weird/mean for feeling that way. If your spouse is not working on managing the ADHD then I know life can be hell.

From what I’ve read a consistent theme(s) have been to set boundaries and to take time for self-care. Dr, Cloud has a good book on boundaries. It’s important to take time for yourself and if needed therapy or counseling.

I don’t know what you’ve tried or what hasn’t worked but know that your struggle is seen, your voice heard, and your concerns are real.

ADHDr’s are told the problems are not just “in your head”. Your issues are also not in your head.

Melissa Orlov’s book has good advice for the non-ADHD spouse/partner.

I hope your situation improves and today has a win in it.

[CloudsAreLovely]

As I tell my children..... you chose the person you're with..... you have the choice to choose different.

[Mamamichl]

man it’s so hard. All I can say is open communication.