29, adult with adhd, life is a mess

[ShamTheBrains]

hi, in July 2020 i got official diagnoses that i have adhd-c which i had since childhood but my parents regarded it as extra active kid who needs an extra "belt sessions" , and forgot about my inattentiveness coz i was getting good grades in elementary and middle schools !! my life is a mess literally, i am trying to adopt new habits, improve on the ones my brain adopted to cope with adhd, so far little improvement, what else can i do? does online adhd coaching work? asked my doctor about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy , but he said no one does it for adults in the country I'm in, and it is intended for the extreme cases and I'm not, according to the diagnoses.

my life is in a full stagnation.

[Boogeyman]

28M here, recently diagnosed with ADHD. Your post is a mirror image of myself and what I'm going through especially with grades part. It was a constant struggle and somehow i managed to get good grades. When I look back now, all those struggles were part of this condition.I'm started on Concerta 18mg for past 2 weeks and increased to 36mg this week. I'm seeing a bit of improvement or i think so. Have you ever considered taking medications?

I quit my job, so the improvement is maybe because i have to deal only less stressors. I took medications because it seems hard to focus on job hunt, resume writing, etc

[ShamTheBrains in reply to Boogeyman]

yes i take medicine concerta 54mg, i started with 36mg.

[Shnookie in reply to Boogeyman]

Hi Boogeyman. I’m shnookie and have had

ADHD since childhood. I developed a very

good memory to overcome this. Re cognitive theory, it is very helpful not just for but for depression as well. Check

Online cognitive learning. Remember

Cognitive theory - comes from believing

that a catastrophic thing is going to happening. The reality is realize what feeling acknowledge fear and breakdown

Parts of the ideas.

[F_RN_Dx_at_39]

There are CBT workbooks that you can buy online. A good friend of mine with depression recommended one that she found incredibly helpful. The title is:

CBT skills workbook: practical exercises and worksheets to promote change by Dr Barry M Gregory

I have you had to start mine, due to procrastination, which the book would probably help me.

[alsomee]

I'm also looking into online coaching because I can't find any near me, so I hope it does work... When browsing for one, read all the info they have available regarding their aproach and what they focus on, and the way they describe ADHD, choose the one it feels "right" for YOU based on that (that's what I'm going to try anyway) Good luck!

[Dodger09]

I’m so very sorry your feeling like this. I’m close to 40 and just “officially” diagnosed this month. Both of my young sons have ADHD and I’ve been getting them medical help but didn’t take the steps to help myself until now. My doctor says I have developed great coping mechanisms over the years which have helped me to hide the ADHD. I personally have used ABA therapy along with medication to help my boys.

I’ve found throughout my life, which has been a successful life thus far, that writing things down helps. Also biting off tasks one at a time. Getting physical exercise in as often as possible is a huge help for me. Due to local gym closures due to covid I took up jujitsu and boxing, the mental clarity and emotional boost is huge. I also have to plan things ahead and stay very organized. In my house everything has a place and I make sure things get back where they belong or the clutter sets me off.

I hope this helps you even just a little bit. I remember being your age drowning in college debt with no way out.

[Hidden]

Oh my! Im a counselor and CBT is one of the tools we use all day everyday. In the US, CBT strategies are used in developing everything from weight loss programs to addiction recovery to absolutely any issue one can think of. Its such an easy concept n works for absolutely everything. Its not a “ secret “ tool or therapy strategy. What country do you live in? You can order basic books on CBT books almost anywhere

[Shirleytaps]

I am so sorry to hear of your predicament. Honestly, the best small manageable book with real life solutions to everyday ADHD problems is The Adult ADHD Tool Kit - Using CBT to Facilitate Coping Inside and Out, by J Russell Ramsay and Anthony L Rostain. Have a pen and paper handy while you are reading, but it will get you started until you can find a reliable coach or therapist. Keep on keeping on.