Going back to school 🫣

[Birdlover226]

I’m a divorced single mom who recently got let go of a job I loved. No warning, had gotten a raise, new responsibilities, etc. I was devastated. I’m thinking of going back to school, which I’m not scared of, it’s all the school work and studying and juggling my other responsibilities. I’m thinking either occupational therapist assistant or physical therapist assistant. Is anyone in these types of jobs or have any recommendations?

[STEM_Dad]

I am a divorced single dad, and so I think I can relate in some ways. I've also gone through some job changes in recent years.

I don't have experience with those occupations you mentioned, but I think it's commendable that you are considering going back to school.

While an "assistant" position is often the first step, those positions often have much lower pay, and less control over working hours (i.e. too few, or prone to overtime). Would it be your goal to work your way into a fully qualified occupational therapy or physical therapy position?

What makes you interested in that sort of work?

What did you love about your previous job, that you might be looking for in a future one?

~~~~~

OT and PT are focused on providing patients with targeted therapy, whether to recover from an injury or illness, or to help accommodate developmental differences.

The work requires patience and persistence, and I believe it also requires having a bit of a think skin.

Other types of work which might be similar might include: sports medicine, athletic training, and massage therapy (which would be a bit more "hands-on"...pun totally intended!)

~~~~~

I'm going to guess that you are motivated by a desire to help people. (I am to, which drives me in my tech support role.)

If that's the case, what other types of work would you consider to meet that motivational need?

Or perhaps you are interested in the human body and movement, and that interest is what's driving this education/career direction. So then, do you have any other special experience that is related?

• Have you had to go through OT/PT yourself? Do you have an athletic background? Dance background? Are you a fitness enthusiast? Have any of you kids needed OT/PT? etc.

• One particular area of focus for Occupational Therapy is working with children. Notably, with children who have physical or developmental disabilities. This OT might focus on self-care, Would pediatric occupational therapy be an area of interest for you?

• One particular area of physical therapy might be geriatric, focused on older adults who might need help recovering mobility after a medical issue such as a heart attack or stroke. People who do this work are often motivated by their own compassion towards the elderly.

~~~~~

When I was still married, I often gave my wife massages. She said I was quite good at it, and suggested that I would probably make a good massage therapist.

I asked her how she would feel about me touching other people the same way that I was touching her then, and how would she like it if my hands were too tired from massaging other people all day. She didn't like the thought of either scenario. That ended the discussion real quick! 😂

[ADHDMom2013 in reply to STEM_Dad]

I've actually looked into both those positions and they have a good starting pay. I don't know where you live but I'm in MA. I have always been interested in the health field but I couldn't be a nurse, I don't have the stomach for it. My job I just had I was a scheduling coordinator but they had me going out with the owner and other techs. We inspected medical equipment. I loved it. I felt like the office was very slow and boring.

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HAHA....I do love helping people....before my last job I was a teacher at a daycare center. I was a bit older than most of the kids there and I am a "motherly" person so I got invested in the kids real quick and when you have two people in a room with 7 infants and the other teacher is having issues in their life and you're left to tend to 7 infants by yourself...I couldn't do it anymore. It's funny you mention tech...I do have a degree in computer information systems. I was thinking about doing that b/c I am very "tech savvy" but I also have learning disabilities (processing problem) and I'm afraid that getting into that field I won't understand it. I'm assuming tech = computers? I've had both OT and PT and my son has OT. I do love exercise but as I've gotten older it's not as easy as it was when I was in my 20's but I still do what I can.

😂 at least you guys talked about it...lol...that was a downfall with my marriage. 😂

[STEM_Dad in reply to ADHDMom2013]

I lived almost 20 years in a mostly rural area of Idaho, and worked for a while at a hospital across the state line in rural Washington. The pay rates in the area were well below any more populated areas. (Idaho in general has lower pay rates. Eastern Washington just had to be a little higher than Idaho to draw the talent.)

Yes, tech meaning computers (and now also network and server management, too). But I like to focus on the people that the technology serves. I'm not interested in tech for it's own sake ...I just understand it better than the average person.

~~~~~

Communication was actually always an issue in my marriage. That particular conversation was an odd moment of insight that I had.

Things were usually one-sided...she had to be heard, she liked to get her way, she had to "win" every disagreement (even if she was entirely wrong). I often didn't get much say, and I'm conflict-avoidant, so I didn't push to get my way.

• It got a bit better after the first ten years. She put in the effort to make communication more balanced; I was grateful for the change, but still struggled to be assertive. Still, we each generally followed the established pattern. (Then, my job became constant stress, and she didn't want to hear me vent...that was the start of our downward spiral. I withdrew. She became attracted to someone else.)

• Strangely, she's been a better, much more balanced partner in co-parenting than when we were together.

[Birdlover226 in reply to STEM_Dad]

I also understand computers better...everyone comes to me for computer help lol. I'm meeting with an advisor in a couple of weeks. I've always had jobs that were low in pay but let me leave if I needed too...my son, when he was younger, had epilepsy. He's been seizure free for 5 years now and off medication for a year...still in the back of my mind that it will come back but that's just my anxiety talking. When I got divorced I moved back into my mother's house and built an in-law suite onto her house so I have help...and it gave her company since my father passed away unexpectedly when I was pregnant with my son. I alway wonder what my father would have done if he was still alive...my son has severe ADHD along with other issues that I've been getting him help on.

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My ex was in the military and he seemed to care more about veterans than he did his family and it was an escape of the issues our son was having...eventally he found another girl who was also in the military...nothing happened physically but it was an emotional relationship for sure...so we divorced and we actually are better now than we were when we were together. He is remarried now and his new wife has two kids from a previous relationship and then they had another one of their own so that has also been a struggle for my son. He tells me I can't have another kid lol. I'm like, I'm too old so don't worry...😆

[STEM_Dad in reply to Birdlover226]

I'm glad that your son no longer has epilepsy. Some people do grow out of it, but some people don't. I have a friend who has been diagnosed with epilepsy since her teens. (She doesn't have seizures very often, thankfully.)

Military folks tend to have higher divorce rates, sadly.

I wanted to serve, but didn't get the opportunity. I was diagnosed with asthma as a kid, and it persisted (more mildly) as an adult. So when I graduated from high school (a couple years after Desert Storm ended), the military wouldn't take me.

• I was a newly wed when 9/11 happened, and was looking for work at the time, but my new bride pleaded with me not to try to enlist. Years later, I ran out of financial aid for college and considered again, since the Army was still taking older adults and were giving waivers on controlled asthma. I waited a few months too long, and they dropped the maximum age of enlistment again.

***It was for the best for my family. My marriage got repaired at that time, and our youngest two kids were born.

I can relate with being "too old" to have kids now. My youngest was born 2 months before I turned 40.

I am sad for your son, and his father's apparent lack of connection with him. That is something I have a hard time understanding about some men. I have always been focused on my family first. My love for my family is what has motivates me.

From a male psychology perspective, I know how powerless a father can feel when his child has an illness or condition that I can't do anything about. For a military man, I can see how it might look easier to face an opponent on a battlefield that you understand, than one that you don't (meaning your son's previous epilepsy and present ADHD).

[Birdlover226 in reply to STEM_Dad]

That’s what makes me nervous. That happened to some of my family members, including my brother but I can’t think negatively, he’s done great so far 🤞🏻.

I graduated the year 9/11 happened but I was going to join right after school but I hurt my back really bad then 9/11 happened and no one wanted me to join so I never did. I guess good luck to his new wife then?! 😂 he’s a marine too so he can be, excuse my French, an asshole.

I always wanted more kids but I couldn’t get pregnant and that’s probably a blessing in disguise. I have a lot going on with my son anyway. If it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t be where he is now. We coparent well now just he seems like he’s more interested in the new wife doing things with her he never did with me but 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your kids must be older?

[STEM_Dad in reply to Birdlover226]

I'm glad for both you and your mom that the living situation worked out for you both.

[ADHDMom2013 in reply to STEM_Dad]

Apparently I have two accounts on here...birdlover2013 and ADHDMom2013...same person...oops.

[STEM_Dad in reply to ADHDMom2013]

I'm sure you're not the first, and I'm sure you won't be the last. 😉

I think I almost did the same, but was sure I had an account, so I worked harder on getting access to it again. (It turned out, I had used my alternate email account for this, not my main one.)

[Birdlover226 in reply to STEM_Dad]

That's what I did, I had used an alternate email. I'll have to get rid of the other one.

[STEM_Dad in reply to Birdlover226]

I don't know if the site administrators can merge your two accounts, but you could try asking them (if it matters to you to do so). Sometimes it can be done. More often it cannot.

[ScooterJoe]

Hi--I don't have experience in either of those jobs but I can understand the feeling of having to leave a job in a circumstance that was not of your own choosing. I was gently nudged to the sidelines because I was 66 years old and had worked for the company for 38 years. But I can tell you by all means go back to school.Do it for yourself! I was only in my 40's and completing a degree I had abandoned to get married. I wasn't aiming for a specific profession so was able to choose subjects I was interested in to get the required number of credits.

I never had felt so alive! It was like a new awakening! Do it, don't miss it for what it is--an opportunity. Find some purpose in it. You may be surprised.

[Birdlover226 in reply to ScooterJoe]

Thank you! I hear back from admissions next week. 🤞🏻

[ScooterJoe in reply to Birdlover226]

Good job!

[ADDulting]

I started school Last Spring and it was when I noticed the challenges and got diagnosed. I don't know how anyone can work and go to school at the same time, is a super power I do not have. All the best in your academic pursuit.