Focusing on 1 thing physically hurts

[empleat]

I suffer from extreme anxiety disorders, stress, ocd, ocpd... And years of bad case of ADHD + very heavy multitasking as i couldn't do anything 8 years chronic pain... When i try to focus on breath e.g. when trying to fall asleep, it gets physically painful in 10 seconds. Like visceral pain in my head and on chest! And it is so insanely uncomfortable, i can't keep focusing on breathing!

Also then i get intrusive thoughts, because OCD is also way how to escape present and live in past or future, if present is unbearable, which it is 8 years since my chronic pain completely disabled me that i couldn't do absolutely anything, even 1 line of text most of the time... SO you can imagine how terrible my life is... I had deviated nasal septum so i couldn't even focus on breathing years, luckily now it is fixed, but my nose isn't still passable and i am afraid years of bad habits messed me up...

But i am dying from sleeping pills. I reached total of emotional flatness, i cannot feel anything only nothing or pain... And these pills make it worse! I need so badly to get rid of them, but at least without one i cannot sleep and even then it takes me 2-3+ hours usually, because stress and OCD! And i couldn't breathe...

Does anyone know what this is? Even getting tons of physical exercise didn't help me with my sleep at all. I suffer from severe insomnia...

I didn't sleep 5+ days in hospital, well that was fun, i am even more demented now then i was before...

[Portuguesemess]

Hello, empleat ! I'm so sorry you're going thru so much pain.What happend 8 years ago? Nobody here is a doctor, but that sounds like an ADHD burnout... Multitasking, stress, last minute anxiety, anger are fuel . They help your brain produce dopamine to get you thru the day. The problem is you can't do this forever without paying a price: depression, emotional numbness, chronic pain due to always being tense. When you don't know when to slow down your body starts taking care of that for you.

I would get days where i was so tired that e couldn't fall asleep. Because i didn't had any sleep, the muscle pain would get worse ( chronic tension). It was a vicious cicle...

You need specialized medical help. Someone who knows about ADHD ( a neurologist or psychiatrist )... A psychologist might also be of help to you... Look around you're area of residence.

I know a psychiatrist who helped me a lot. He is a wizard when it comes to medication and has empathy and intuition in spades.

He works from Portugal, but gives online appointments ( Dr. Jorge Mota Pereira)

If you are interested here's the website ( it's in portuguese but thank God for google translate😉) : venceradepressao.com

Send an email exposing you're situation ( [e-mail])

The first appointment costs around 160 euros, but it's money well spent.

Good luke and i hope you find the help you need to get better soon.

[AuDHD3245]

You don't 'suffer', you 'live with', cope with, and fight against. When you say you are suffering, you will suffer. Start living with it, accept it, and it will set you free.

It takes time and practise, but try not to focus and think about it, just do it. There's a difference between the brain and mind. Mind is what you've learnt. The words of someone else who told you and taught you. As an adult, you can now realise you are your own person, and hae your own mind. You're focusing on trying to focus. Try not to focus, but 'know' that you already will if it's your intention.

[Rodster]

Have you tried hypnotherapy for falling asleep?